“The truth as you see fit.”
“What do you want me to say? Huh? You betrayed me! I loved you!”
“You still fucking love me. I know that as much as you do.” I tugged back my hair, wanting to rip it out. “How much longer am I going to have to pay for this? I fucked up. I lost you. Isn’t that punishment enough?”
“It’s so much more than that.”
“You’ve pushed your feelings for me aside since the first day you saw me again.” I stepped back, putting some much-needed distance between us.
“My head is still spinning from years ago, and you’re just adding more confusion to my already overwhelmed mind. I have all these fears, and I don’t know how to make them go away because you won’t tell me the truth about why you left me! I know I’ve been hard on you, and I hate myself for it. Though, it’s more about me hating myself than you. I don’t know how to forgive you, love you. I’m my own worst enemy, and all I want is to know the truth. I so desperately want to be that girl again. The one who loved you with all her heart and soul. Our baby deserves that. To be conceived in the love we once had.” She hesitated for a second before asking, “Did you marry me because you had to?”
I stepped toward her, stopping when we were inches apart. “Kitten, I didn’t marry you for any other reason,” I rasped, needing to finally say it, “than I fucking love you.”
She slightly gasped. The sound echoed off the walls and into my heart.
“I love you so much it fucking kills me, destroys me, makes me see nothing but red that you think otherwise. I thought by not saying it, it might make it easier for you, but it’s only making it worse.”
“Tristian…”
Tears fell from her and stained her gorgeous face.
“I’ve loved you since the first moment I laid eyes on you.” I gripped the back of her neck and slammed my lips against hers.
Kissing her.
Loving her.
Fucking devouring her.
With my hands framing her face, I vowed, “I’m sorry I ever made you cry. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I’m sorry for ever making you feel like I didn’t belong to you. I’m sorry for making you believe that I’d left you.” Leaning my forehead against hers, I added, “Most of all, I’m so fucking sorry that it took me this long to tell you how much I love you. With my heart, my soul, with every inch of my body, my heart beats for only you. Please tell me you know that. You feel it, don’t you?”
Her chest rose and fell with each deep breath she took. Staring deep into her eyes, the same intense gaze looked back at me.
“I love you, Belle Hawkins. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for the bad decisions that made me lose you.”
“Tell me the truth then. What happened?”
There was nothing left for me to express. She deserved to know why I had to leave. I could give her that.
I could give her me.
—Belle—
I can’t believe he said he loved me.
After all these years, all this time, he finally said the three words I’d been wanting to hear.
What tormented me.
Kept me up at night.
Consumed my thoughts every second of the day.
Silenced my conscience, my worry, my fears.
The biggest question of them all was…
Did I still love him? Could I forgive him?