So pretty much everyone at the wedding proceeded to get smashed. It got a little out of control. Ambi remembered Trey leading her out of the place, down the back way to finally get the hell out of there. They were both more than buzzed. The plan was to get out into the parking lot and call for a cab or walk until they found one.
Instead, they’d found the janitor’s closet.
Annnnd the rest was history.
Not the good kind of history either.
The kind of history that she couldn’t get past, because instead of storming the door, kicking Trey in the balls until he dropped and she could get past him and then spitting on him as he was down, Ambi couldn’t move. She couldn’t move a muscle.
Her mouth opened. Worked. Closed. Worked again. Nothing came out. Her jaw just flapped stupidly, like a flag on a windy day. Except she was sure that even a flag would have made some noise. She stood there speechless. Absolutely. Struck. Stupid.
“I hate you.” There. At least that was something to say. She wanted to congratulate herself on her achievement.
“Do you though?” Trey asked cockily. “Because to me, it seems an awful lot like you actually don’t. Like you’re just saying that. To me. To yourself. Except you’re not convincing anyone. Not me. Not you.”
“What do you want?” Okay, that wasn’t so bold. It came out plaintive sounding and pathetic, a little whiny even. No back pats for reaching new pathetic lows.
Trey blinked at her with those eyes she freaking used to love so much. God, his eyes. She hated his eyes because she couldn’t stop being enthralled with them. They were there in her mind. She could never banish them. She knew the exact color and pattern. All the flecks and dots.
“That’s obvious, I think. I want you.”
“You- you…” Come on, Ambi, you can do it. You can spit it out. “You can’t have me.” There. Was that so hard? More back pats for you.
“Why not? I can clearly see that you want me too. I know we have a past. I know I was a dickhead in it, but that’s done now. If you give me another chance-”
“No. No more chances. I can’t afford to keep giving chances over and over. I shouldn’t have it to give it either. It should be earned. Tricking me into this and dragging me back into this room, hoping to score and get lucky isn’t going to work.”
“Well…” Trey cleared his throat. “I know that your brand of humor isn’t like other people’s and neither is your brand of romance. I could try to wine and dine you, impress you by whisking you away to Spain or something on a private jet, throw money at you, throw expensive jeweler and designer shit around, but I know you don’t care about any of that. You’re just you, Ambi. You loved me even when I had no money and you didn’t know that I’d ever have any. You saw me. You saw me for who I was. I asked you to that wedding and it sucked, but that night, in this very janitor’s room, was one of the best days of my life. I didn’t bring you here today hoping that I’d get lucky. I brought you here because I wanted you to remember. I wanted you to know that I never forgot. I haven’t forgotten a minute of it. I don’t want a chance just to get in your pants, Ambi. I want the chance to prove to you that I deserve another chance. I want to love you properly this time. I promise that I would never hurt you again. I would never abandon you. I would never fuck it all up again.”
Ambi stood her ground, but she could literally feel her resolve weakening as the seconds ticked by. She didn’t want to give Trey another chance. Not when he’d hurt her so badly the first time. She didn’t want to let her guard down and put herself out there. She didn’t want to risk her fragile, wounded heart. She didn’t want to, but she knew that she already was. She was doing all of those things. She’d never actually stopped. It wasn’t just deep down, that knowledge, shoved to the back of her mind and the bottom of her heart. It was at the forefront, a current that was sweeping her away, a current she was drowning in.
She tried to shake her head, but everything was frozen. She was paralyzed except for the sting welling at the bridge of her nose and burning at the backs of her eyes. She was mortified. She didn’t want to break down and cry. She didn’t want to show an ounce of weakness or give Trey that part of herself. Her brain and her body were clearly at odds. Her head told her no. Her heart was too scared to give an answer. Her body though, was the worst traitor. She couldn’t stop loving Trey. She couldn’t stop wanting him, especially not after what happened at her apartment. She’d been perilously close to losing control and she’d had to put a stop to it.