“So- why are you really here?”
“I’m here to apologize. I didn’t mean to come to your place the other day and try to tell you how to live your life. I don’t want you to think that I know better than you. Because I don’t. I know I’m the last person that should give advice. I really was just trying to help you. I- I wanted to try and make things better for you because I didn’t want- it hurts me to- to see you hurting.”
Callie blinked, as though she had never really considered that he might actually have any real kind of feelings attached to the whole thing. Or to her. The look of disbelief, the glow of tears in her eyes, it all hit him right in the gut and he found he had to struggle to take his next breath. Not every guy is Ben. That’s what he’d said to her. He hadn’t meant it as a parting shot. He wanted her to know, truly, that people did care. But have I ever cared about anyone before? Truly?
“I don’t know what to say.” Callie looked down at her hands, which were folded in her lap. “I feel like both times, this and the other day, it was just kind of sprung on me. I didn’t really think I’d see you again.”
“Is it really so terrible? No, wait. Don’t answer that.” He tried to smile, attempting humor, but the sad look in Callie’s eyes never went away. She did look up though, which was an improvement.
“I guess I just don’t know what you want from me.”
“I really just want to make sure you’re okay. Even if you don’t want to see me again, I need you to know that you’re a great person, Callie. You really do deserve to be happy. I need you to know that and I really hope that you’ll believe it.
“It doesn’t just happen, just like that. I can’t erase all those years and all the things that happened. I can’t just learn to trust overnight.”
“No, of course not,” he said softly. Even though Matt was tempted, he didn’t reach across the table. That would be too much, expecting her to take his hand. He wanted to touch her though. He craved that contact, even just an innocent brush of their fingers, or his knuckle against her cheek, more than anything in the world. “I just- I care that you’re okay. Really.”
Callie shrugged. She stared off to the bar for a second before she tore her gaze away and pinned him with eyes that were entirely devoid of emotion. “Why? You don’t even know me. We had- we had a few days of flirting and then we had sex. It wasn’t more than that. It was never going to be more than that.”
Matt searched her face for some sign that she was lying. For a sign that she maybe didn’t mean what she said. For something… anything. He found nothing. Just a blank wall that he butted up against every single time. There was nothing more he could do or say. It hurt. It really fucking hurt. He’d never felt so useless or helpless in his life and he didn’t like it.
“Okay.” He nodded. He realized he was bobbing his head way too hard and forced himself to stop. “Okay. I get it. I- I really do wish you all the best, Callie. I won’t try and contact you again. I won’t bother Chantara again either. If you end up needing a reference to find another job, let Chantara know and I’ll write one and give it to her. I hope that you can find what you need.”
She blinked hard, just once. “I hope you can too,” she whispered. The sincerity in her voice nearly knocked him over as he got up to leave.
CHAPTER 20
Callie
Luckily enough, after several more days stuck in the apartment, one of the zillion resumes Callie sent off finally landed her an interview at a secondhand store that dealt primarily with vintage clothing and other small antiques. It was right up her alley, even though it didn’t pay more than minimum wage. When she was offered the job the day after her interview, she took it without hesitation.
After a week of training, she felt confident enough to be left alone in the store for her first shift by herself. She was just finishing getting the mannequins dressed in new outfits when Chantara walked in through the front door.
Callie turned around at the sound of the bell at the door. She was so surprised to see her bestie that she nearly dropped the mannequin. She caught it at the last second, heart racing.
“Oh god, that was a close call. If I damage one of these things, I’m not sure how much I’d get charged. Probably my first whole paycheck.”