The Dating Game (Alphalicious Billionaires 5)

“Because you can’t give up. You want to find someone. If you give up now, you’ll wind up a spinster like me because it’s easier to be a spinster and just- uh- scratch the itch when the chance arises and run after rather than actually put in the effort to find someone.”

“That makes me so hopeful for the future,” Muffy sighed.

“It’s going to happen for you. You have to give it, like, three more tries. If it’s super bad each time, I’ll delete the profile for you.”

“Damn it. You set that thing up for me just so that you would be the only one who knows the password to delete it.”

Carla winked. “Three more times and I’ll delete it. Three more times means you’ve given it an honest try.”

“Two. Because that makes three times total.”

“Today was just the warm-up. It only lasted for two minutes so it really didn’t count.”

“Oh, it counted alright.”

“Please. Just give it three more times. For me. I don’t want to see you unhappy. You’ll make me want to go to Steve’s house and egg it. Or throw toilet paper all over his trees. Or maybe put a brick through his front window. Or scratch his car.”

“All of those are tempting, but we’d probably get caught and end up in jail. I’ve never been arrested. I’d like to keep that streak going. It’s bad for business, going to jail. Who would run your store?”

“Who would keep that dismally boring company going if they didn’t have an accountant.”

“Construction isn’t boring. It’s a perfectly valid industry. Without construction, we wouldn’t have roads or buildings.”

“Sorry. I could do without.”

“No, you couldn’t,” Muffy scoffed, but when Carla grinned at her, she had to admit she’d started to feel better.

“So- three more tries? For me?” Carla batted her ridiculously long lashes. Muffy wished that just for one minute, Carla didn’t have to look so pretty without makeup. She was lounging around in pajamas and she still looked like the homecoming queen she’d been in high school.

“Maybe being a spinster, as you so horribly termed it, isn’t the worst thing in the world. Especially if we stick together. I’d like to sit and watch your ass get fat.”

“Thanks,” Carla laughed. She had the same strange sense of humor that her two brothers had. Honestly, when it came right down to it, she probably had a dirtier mind than both of them put together, and Paul and Jason had some pretty dirty minds. “Three more times then it’s just you and me. Together forever. I’ll write a song about it.”

“You can’t even sing, and you don’t play any instruments.”

“I’ll learn. Just for you.”

“I’m flattered.” Muffy grinned. “Alright, alright. I’ll give it three more tries, just so we don’t ever have this conversation again about how I didn’t put in the effort. After that, I’m done trying. If I find someone, great. If I don’t- well… maybe love will just run me over one day.”

“Hit you like a bus.”

“You laugh now but that’s what’s going to happen to you if you’re not careful.”

Carla made a face. “No god damn way.” She grabbed the remote and tuned out, back into the world of fashion, while she caressed her cat and started up the purr storm all over again.

Even though she pretty much hated fashion, Muffy eased back into the couch. There was no way she was getting up anytime soon even though she was hungry and miffed and could use a shower to wash off the bad voodoo from the horrible date.

Right there on the couch with her best friend and the shaggy, crotchety old tom was right where she wanted to be. It was a pretty darn good end to a pretty darn horrible night.

CHAPTER 5

Muffy

Please don’t let him look like a hobo and smell like a dragon. Please don’t let him be a pervert. Please don’t let him breathe fire. Please don’t let him smell like garlic and onions. Please, please, please, just let him be normal.

Alex. It was a non-descript kind of name. An easy name. Casual. Probably a shortened name. She liked the idea of having a name you could actually shorten. Like Alexander. That was nice. Not Muffy. Because that shortened down to Muff and Muffy was by far bad enough.

Her stomach was doing that rocky tossing deal that usually ended up with her dinner coming back up, but since she hadn’t eaten dinner yet- obviously- or much of anything else all day, the sloshing stayed down where it belonged.

Alex had nice pictures. He looked like a decent guy. His profile was well written. It was actually Carla who found him and messaged him, of course, but Muffy had to admit that maybe he wasn’t going to be such a rotten apple. Which was good. Good for Carla. She was on date two of the three she promised her BFF that she’d try and God, the first one was as terrible as the tree climber dude. The guy, Shawn, was a lawyer. He was obviously super high on himself, which was disappointing because he really hadn’t come off that way online.