“Same shit, different day. No one remembered but you.”
Her eyes met mine in the rearview mirror. “Parents didn’t call?”
“Nope, but it’s really all good. You know how I feel about my birthday.”
“True, but you know what you need tonight?”
“What?”
“Dick,” she announced without batting an eye. “You need to get laid.”
I laughed. I had to love this girl. She had such an easy way of saying things. “Oh no, no no. That’s the last thing I need.”
“I disagree. It’s your birthday. You need to celebrate, and what’s a better way of doing it than with a couple of orgasms?”
“Um, how about with a couple of drinks?” I suggested. “Maybe some dancing?”
She waved me off, turning into an overpriced parking structure I assumed was near where the club was. “Nah, let’s find the hottest bastard in the club. It’s time you play some ding-dong ditch.”
“I’m guessing we’re not talking about the kids’ game.”
“Nope. That was fun. This is better.” After circling the level we were driving on a few times, Tiana spotted an empty space and parked, winking when she caught my eye. “At least it’s better if you find a guy who knows what he’s doing.”
“I’m too afraid to ask and morbidly curious all at the same time.” I rocked my head from side to side, then nodded. “Okay, curiosity wins. What’s this version of ding-dong ditch?”
“You play with a target of your choice’s ding-dong, then you ditch. Simple enough, right?” She flashed me a sassy smile and got out of her car.
“For you maybe, but I’m wearing a girdle.” Also known to me as a chubby choker or a passion killer, to name but a couple. “There’s no way I’m getting naked in front of anyone.”
Leading me down a flight of concrete stairs with bright, fluorescent lights, she waggled her brows at me. “You were naked in front of me earlier.”
Our heels clicked on the concrete on the way down, the sound drowned out as soon as we stepped onto the busy street. “Fine, I’m not getting naked in front of anyone with a ding-dong.”
A guy walking past us gave me a strange look, then hurried past. Feeling my cheeks heat, I ducked my head behind my hair and focused on following Tiana. She stuck her tongue out at the guy’s back and nudged me with her hip.
“Ignore him. His ding-dong is probably tiny. Lucky for you, I already have a plan to bypass the unfortunate underwear situation you’ve got going on.”
“I’m not taking it off when we get to the club,” I warned her. I was wearing this awful rib- crushing thing for a reason.
She rolled her eyes as we turned a corner. Almost as soon as we did, I saw a neon sign with two large men manning a velvet rope and a line outside that was growing by the second.
“I wasn’t going to suggest you take it off inside the club.” We reached the back of the line and I slowed, thinking we would have to fall in line but Tiana kept going. “We’re going to liquor you and the hot bastard up good. You can take it off when you get back to our place, or his.”
I snorted. “Fuck that. All the alcohol in the bar won’t be enough to make the poor guy forget the sounds I’ll make trying to get it off.”
“You can just pretend you were warming up. Good?”
“Hell no.” I laughed. Noticing she was headed right for the front of the line, I caught her arm. “I think we need to get behind all these people to get in.”
“Not a chance.” She dragged me forward confidently. “I know the bouncer, I’ll get us in. You just decide what you want to drink once we get in so I can set my plan in motion.”
“Have you heard a word I’ve said?”
“Of course, I’m just not listening to you. Alcohol and darkness in there are your friends, embrace them. Cut loose a little, birthday girl.”
“Alcohol is also going to make me feel more bloated than I already am. I might just do some dancing and go easy on the drinking.”
“You get to be picky on what you drink because it’s your birthday, but you know as well as I do the cocktails have been calling your name all day.”