Under different circumstances, I might’ve been one of them. Especially when he smiled, a splash of pearly white against his dark skin poking just a hint of a dimple into his cheek.
Shawn didn’t seem to notice the attention he was garnering. Probably because it was such an everyday occurrence to him. His full attention was on me as he asked me about my day and chatted in his easygoing way.
We were on our second beers when he came out with the reason why he’d asked me for drinks. He pushed his glass aside and placed his elbows on the table in front of him, his fingers loosely threaded together as he tapped his pinkie finger against the veneered wooden surface.
“How do you feel about Jeremiah?”
Stunned, I tucked my chin in and crossed my arms. “I like you, Shawn. You’re a good friend. And I appreciate all your help the other day. But I don’t know you well enough to talk to you about this.”
Being standoffish wasn’t my usual go-to response, but I made an exception this time. Shawn was close to Jeremiah, not to me. If he wanted information about us, that was who he should’ve gone to.
Turning his hands, he held his palms up and gave me a sheepish grin. “I’m not trying to intrude. I know it’s a personal question, but I need to know because if I’m right about you, I need your help.”
I arched a brow. “My help?”
“Your answer first, please.” He smiled knowingly and lifted his glass to his sculpted lips, giving me a sideways nod as if to say “your turn.”
There was an intensity in his eyes, an urgency I couldn’t place. And whatever it was, it was dark. Not happy, but truly worried. Before I could stop myself, I was nodding. “I’ll tell you, but only if you really think I can help.”
Sensing the last lingering hesitation I was hanging onto, Shawn released a quiet breath and took a long sip of his beer, never breaking eye contact with me. “I’ll level with you because I really do think you can help. I’m worried about Jeremiah.”
“Which is why we’re having this discussion.”
He tipped his head, acquiescing. “Like I said, I don’t mean to intrude. You have every right to tell me to fuck off and mind my own business. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think it was important though.”
The look in his eyes was sincere, apologetic. “You’re forgiven, but if you’d explain I would sure appreciate it.”
“Jeremiah’s been through a lot the last few years.” I started to nod, to tell him I knew but he stopped me by holding up one finger. “I’m not sure how much he’s told you about Jack’s death and everything that happened after. He doesn’t talk about it much.”
A faraway look crept into his eyes, and he stared into the middle distance for a second before continuing. “Things were getting tough on him before Jack’s death. Their father… Well, you’ve met him.”
I nodded but remained silent, quickly becoming enthralled with what he was telling me. When Jeremiah told me about Jack, I had a feeling he didn’t speak about it too often. Shawn paused to signal the waitress for another round and turned back to me.
“There was a time when he could hardly step out the door without a photographer there to capture the moment,” Shawn explained. “We were all at fault, I think. Living the life imagined and not giving a damn about the consequences.”
That would’ve been around the time I started college. I was so wrapped up in my own wild child ways back then, I didn’t pay attention to the tabloids or stories about a bunch of famed bad boys I didn’t know sleeping and partying their way through the city.
“I’ll save you the details, but let’s just say I know Jeremiah when things get tough. He tends to shut down and isolate himself, internalize whatever’s going on.”
“Men,” I muttered, thinking about how Tiana and I helped each other through the tough times. In Shawn’s own way though, that was what he was doing. “Why do you need me? Won’t it be easier if you just tell him you’re worried about him?”
He shook his head, giving me a quick flash of those pearly whites again. “You hit the nail on the head about the man thing. When Jeremiah’s in this frame of mind, he’s not going to talk to me about it. He’ll drink with me, talk shit and tell me he’s okay. It’s a pride thing.”
“I’m assuming we’re not talking ‘pride’ as in the collective noun for lions.”
Shawn laughed. “I can see why he likes you, but no. Even if we were, every pride has its alpha, right? The lion who thinks it’s in charge and keeps the problems away from the rest of them.”
“I don’t think lions work quite that way, but I think I get what you mean anyway.”
Sitting back, he smiled and rubbed his palms together like he was dusting them off. “Then my work here is done. You’ll go see him?”
“I will,” I said. If Jeremiah needed my help, I would gladly give it. “Without letting him know I’m checking in on him.”
He nodded gratefully. “Thank you. I knew you cared about him, even if you never answered my question.”
“I do care about him.” There was no point in trying to hide it. Knowing now what Shawn’s angle was for asking, I found myself not minding telling him the truth. It wasn’t a random, invasive question anymore. “I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
“Just a head’s up, I suspect he hasn’t left his house in days. He might also not be excited to see you there at first. It won’t be anything personal, so don’t let it derail you.”
I lifted my glass to his and clinked it before draining what little was left of my beer. “I can handle it. One intervention for a possibly smelly, internalizing alpha coming up.”