CHAPTER28
LARISA
Iwas starving and not about to try to get home on an empty stomach after having a couple drinks with Steph. So I walked across the hall to Tanner’s apartment with him. Having spent the last few hours in his apartment and with his friends, I was definitely also softening a little toward him again.
It was obvious that both Stephanie and Jeremiah cared about him deeply, and watching him with them, his friends, in his natural habitat had made me realize why. He was funny and kind, caring toward them in turn, and apparently a really good friend. It had all helped me to see past his money, his fame, and his apparent playboy ways to see the person he really was.
The food arrived just as we were leaving. Tanner grabbed it and we sat down at his place to eat. He cracked open two of the sodas Jeremiah had ordered with the food and handed one over to me. We settled on his sofa with the cardboard containers on our laps.
“You should know that I didn’t have anything to do with what Jeremiah just did.” He grinned as he gestured at the food. “I didn’t ask him to kick us out or anything.”
I laughed. “I figured he was up to something, but I didn’t think you had anything to do with it. I got the feeling Jeremiah does pretty much whatever he wants to do. I doubt anyone can change his mind once he’s made it up about something.”
“Have you really only known him for one day, or have you known him since college, too?” he joked. “You’re exactly right about him, so you must’ve met him before.”
“Nah, I’m just usually quite good at reading people.” Except for you, apparently.
As if he had heard the thought, he cleared his throat and caught my gaze, holding his chopsticks ready above the container but not sliding them in yet. “Look, I know we’re only working together now, but I’d still like to explain about that woman who ambushed us in the park.”
“It’s okay. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
He shrugged. “Maybe not, but I'd still like to give you one. Will you hear me out?”
I looked into those blue eyes of his, stunned by the clear sincerity in them as he waited for my answer. While I’d decided to put that part of our relationship behind us, it was obvious this meant a lot to him. I suppose it won’t hurt to give him a chance to explain if he wants to do it so badly.
“Sure. Okay, I’ll hear you out,” I said. “Only because you asked me to, though. You really don’t need to feel like you have to explain yourself to me.”
“That’s fair, but I want to.” He held my gaze, inhaling as an almost pained look flickered across his features. “It’s not something I’m proud of, but I used to sleep around a lot. I’m single, I used to be a professional athlete, and I’m not trying to make excuses, but I just really didn’t see any problem with it.”
“Again, you don’t owe me anything, but you do realize that woman approached us just last week, right? The way you’re talking makes it sound like this is all in the distant past, but it’s not really.”
“That’s the thing,” he said. “I really have been trying to change my ways. I know it hasn’t exactly been years, but I am trying. I’ve always been upfront about what I wanted out of any hookup and I never led on anyone on purpose. I did sleep with that girl and I shouldn’t have. She really was the first one in weeks and I know that doesn’t sound like much, but for me, it does mean that I’ve been making an effort.”
Before I could say anything, he ran a hand through his hair and gave me an imploring look. “I have no idea what you must be thinking about me right now, but I promise I’m not as bad as it must be sounding. It’s never been an issue before, but I’ve realized it’s not really where I am in my life anymore. I want more, and I know I’m not going to get it if I keep acting that way.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I had no real reason to get upset and I don’t expect anything out of you. Can I be honest?”
“Of course.”
“It does sound bad,” I agreed. “Not that what I think matters, since it’s got nothing to do with me, but regardless of how bad it sounds to someone like me, you’re hardly the only person in the city who took advantage of being single. As long as everyone is a grownup about it and agrees, there’s nothing wrong with anything you did.”
“Someone like you?”
I shrugged. “Let’s just say that I’m probably one of the few people who never took that much advantage of my single status. Still, it’s not like you cheated on anyone or led them on. Even that girl eventually made it clear that you hadn’t made her any promises. Under the circumstances, I really shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
I just thought there was actually something happening between us.
When he opened his mouth again, I cut him off before he could say anything. I was a long way away from drunk, having had only three glasses of wine with lots of ice over a period of hours, but I was still starving and I had just enough of a buzz that my tongue was slightly looser than it should’ve been.
“Why don’t we focus on what does matter?” I suggested, gesturing at my laptop bag lying on the floor next to my feet. “As soon as Jeremiah showed me around your apartment, I knew there were some other pictures I wanted to show you.”
Shoveling a bite of fried rice into his mouth, he just nodded instead of replying. Setting my food aside for a moment, I took out the computer and put it down on his coffee table. Once it was positioned so that we’d both be able to see the screen, I pressed the button to power it up and then picked up my food again.
“Sorry, that might take a while. It’s a piece of junk. I really need to get a new one, but I never seem to remember when I have time to get around to it.” Following his example, I tucked into my food and finally got the prompt to type in my password when I was about halfway through my meal.
Tanner politely averted his gaze while I typed it in, but he shouldn’t have bothered. I didn’t have anything to hide, and besides, I’d be better off if he stole the damn thing. At least that way, my insurance would pay for the new one I needed.
Even though it was now on, it still took forever to get started. When it eventually did, we were both finished eating and I leaned forward to click on the folder containing the pictures I wanted to show him.