CHAPTER35
TANNER
What the hell was I thinking? It had been twenty-four hours and I was still kicking myself over suggesting that Larisa take the day off work. Obviously, she fucking can’t.
If someone had asked me a few months ago to reschedule everything I had planned to spend time with them, I’d have thought they were completely out of touch with reality. In my entire career, I hadn’t blown off a single damn day just for the hell of it.
I hadn’t even thought about it. She ran her own business. It wasn’t like she could just play things fast and loose with her clients.
To make the suggestion even more idiotic, I knew she’d worked hard to get to where she was. The evidence was there in how proud she was of her work and how serious she was about getting everything just right. People didn’t put that much effort into the details when they didn’t care and hadn’t fought for their success. The fact that she was going so far as to meet with my friends said she cared—a lot.
Plus, she’d mentioned growing up on the other side of the tracks. To have gotten to where she was, she would’ve had to work her butt off. Just like me.
People like us didn’t just take the day off on a whim. We had hard-won reputations at stake and we couldn’t afford to come across as flaky or unreliable.
I didn’t know where my head had been when the question had popped out, but I honestly just hadn’t even considered any of that. It was only after she’d left that it occurred to me that she’d seemed a bit off after I’d asked.
When I’d been wondering why she might’ve been feeling anything other than very positive feelings toward me after the gift, it suddenly hit me. She must think I’m such an entitled prick who’s forgotten what it means to work for a living.
The worst of it was that if she was thinking that, she was right. Or mostly right, anyway. I hadn’t necessarily forgotten what it was like. I just hadn’t really had any sort of deadline or schedule since I’d retired from baseball. Ever since I’d made my fortune, I’d just kind of been floating along and going with the flow.
It was a fact that had bothered me from time to time, but now it was suddenly really eating at me. It had been one thing to take a bit of time after I’d left the team, but it was just getting ridiculous now. Month after month of coasting was starting to change the way I thought, and not for the better.
I pulled up outside my mom’s house and did my best to put those thoughts aside for now. I had bigger fish to fry here, and it required my full attention. I’d been helping my mom out financially, but that wasn’t good enough anymore. She was getting older and her health wasn’t great, although she’d never admit it.
The fact was that she’d always done everything in her power for me, and now that it was my turn, I was more than happy to return the favor. If only she’d let me.
I wasn’t there to convince her to move into a facility where she could be cared for, but I sure as fuck needed to talk to her about it again. Her memory issues worried me badly.
I didn’t have a diagnosis, and maybe there really wasn’t even anything medically wrong with her, but it was still getting dangerous for her to be living alone. The last time we’d talked about it, she’d been more adamant about staying here than ever before. She was vehemently opposed to moving into a care home and even more insistent that she wouldn’t move in with me.
I got out of my car and looked across the street at the house I’d grown up in. Our small front lawn always used to be neatly tended, but it was brown now and had no more plants surrounding it anymore. The gutters were sagging, the flowerpots on the porch had weeds growing in them, and the window shutters, which she’d painted a cheerful sunshine yellow a few years ago, were faded and chipped in places.
Jesus. The place looks run down.
Our house used to be my mom’s pride and joy. She took great care of it and maintained it herself, and when there were things she couldn’t do, she used to call me up immediately to ask for help. All that had changed recently. Whenever I’d offered to come out to help her do some maintenance or gardening, she’d flat out refused.
It hadn’t been that long since I’d been here, but the last few times I’d seen her, she’d insisted on coming to me. Now I knew why. The place had definitely gone downhill since I’d last seen it.
I need to do something about this.
When I reached the front door, I rapped my knuckles against the wood and frowned when it moved from the light touch of my hand. She left it open?
My heart jumped into my throat and I raced inside, terrified about what I might find. It really wasn’t like her to not even close the door properly behind her.
The scent of slightly burned coffee hung in the air, but my pulse stopped thrumming when I heard humming coming from the kitchen.
“Mom?” I called, walking fast but not running anymore. “Is that you?”
“Of course, it’s me.” She laughed and her graying head popped around the doorway before the rest of her pajama-clad body appeared. It also wasn’t like her not to be dressed by the afternoon, but at least she looked bright eyed and healthy. She arched a gray-blonde eyebrow at me and grinned, the crow’s feet around her mouth deepening. “Who did you think it was? A burglar who stopped to make some coffee?”
I smiled, relief rushing through me that she seemed to be having a good day. Shrugging as I pulled her into my arms, I gave her a big hug and let it linger for a moment longer than it needed to. I fucking love this woman. Thank God she’s okay.
“You never know. I’ve heard burglars aren’t as stealthy as they used to be,” I joked. “Besides, you’d stop to chat to anyone. Even someone who was trying to rob you.”
“Everyone has a story, Tanner. I can’t help it if I care about those stories.” She smiled and patted me on the shoulder when I finally released her. Her blue eyes crinkled at the corners. “Coffee? You might not be a burglar, but I’d still like to get your story, young man.”
For a second, I thought she’d forgotten who I was and my heart practically stopped, but then she rolled her eyes and shook her head at me and turned toward the coffeemaker. “Something’s on your mind, my boy. Don’t go looking at me like that. A mother always knows when she’s missed a chapter in her child’s story. That’s all I was talking about. So, what is it? What did I miss?”