“I want you and your sister to meet Tammy,” Dad states, and even though I’m not looking at him, I feel his eyes on me. “I miss you both.”
“Could’ve fooled me, considering you ran into your daughter with your new wife, saw she was visibly upset, and didn’t even call her after to make sure she was okay.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me,” Dad explained, and I look across the table to meet his sorrowful gaze. “I’m sorry. I wanted to call you; I just didn’t think you’d want me to.”
“You should have called,” I tell him, and he drops his eyes from mine. “I hate this,” I whisper after a moment, and his head lifts. “I hate that I miss you, hate what has happened, and really hate that you didn’t trust us to still love you, even if you weren’t in love with Mom.”
“How do I fix this?” he asks, and my heart hurts, because I honestly don’t know if there is a way to fix this. So much has happened over the last year, and I don’t know if I can forgive him for everything he’s done.
“I don’t know,” I tell him, and his eyes start to fill with tears.
“Dad,” Chris calls, and Dad’s eyes go to him, and so do mine. “You might not ever fix what you’ve done, but I do know that if you don’t try, you never will. It’s going to take time for Chrissie and me to trust you again, and the only way you’re going to rebuild that trust is by showing up and putting in the work. You let both of us down.”
“I know. Believe me, I know, because I let myself down too,” Dad says, looking defeated, and his pain-filled words slice through my heart. “I promise, if you two give me a chance, I’ll do what I have to do to fix this.”
“Just be my dad again,” I plead, and he looks at me. “All I’ve wanted from you over the last year is for you to be my dad.” I pull in a shaky breath. “I’ve missed you.”
“I miss you too, honey,” he tells me, looking at me, and then his eyes go to Chris. “I miss you too, son.”
“Then prove it, because I’d like you around,” Chris says, his voice sounding rough. “Chrissie and I will both at some point get married and start our own families. I’d like my kids to know all of their grandparents, and I’m sure Chrissie feels the same about that.”
I reach under the table and take my brother’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. His anger at my dad might be winning out right now, but there is no doubt after hearing his words or the tone in which he spoke that he’s been hurting just as badly as I have.
“I’ll prove it,” Dad agrees, sounding choked up, and then he glances around. “Do you two want to have lunch with me?”
Chris lifts his chin, then dips his head down toward me, and I tell him without words that I don’t want that—not yet anyway. “Sorry, we have stuff going on tonight that we have to get ready for,” he tells Dad.
“Right, sorry. It’s New Year’s Eve. I didn’t think.”
“Sam and I leave to head home the day after tomorrow. I know Chrissie has to work, but if you want, maybe Sam and I can meet you for lunch tomorrow afternoon?”
“I’d really like that. Tell me the time and the place, and I’ll be there,” Dad says immediately, and then he looks at me. “If you let me know when you have time, I’d like to get together with you, even if it’s just to have coffee.”
“Call, and we will figure something out,” I agree, and his expression fills with determination.
“I’ll call,” he tells me, and then he looks out the window for a moment before looking back between Chris and me. “I’m glad you’re both braver than me. Thank you for reaching out.”
I swallow, having nothing to say, and Chris’s fingers convulse around mine. “We should go,” he says, urging me out of the booth, and I stand while our dad does the same. Once we’re all up, Dad gives me a hug, and I fight to hold back tears and then let him go so he can embrace Chris. When my brother steps away, he takes my hand once more. “We’ll talk soon.”
“We will,” Dad confirms, and then his gaze comes to me, communicating the same statement. “Have a good New Year’s,” he says, and then he sits back in the booth, and we walk out of the restaurant. I turn to look over my shoulder before the door closes and watch Dad’s new wife come from wherever she’d been sitting and wrap her arms around him as his shoulders shake. Seeing that, I feel a little better, and then I feel a whole lot better when I find Gaston waiting for me with a worried look and his arms open wide.