“Or it could make them think they have to make changes and so they might as well get it over with,” Ellie said. “So that will do you no good. You can’t quit. Do you know how much they will pay us for next season?”
“I don’t care,” he said firmly. “I’m done, Ellie.” He shifted his attention to Kat and back to Ellie. “Not only is the spotlight not for me, I’m ready for roots and family. I’m ready to have my wife back.”
Ellie’s expression softened. “I understand that. I can see that in you. I don’t want to care, either. I don’t. The pressure feels too much sometimes. I want to have this baby and enjoy every second.”
“Then have the baby and enjoy every second,” Jason insisted. “This baby, this pregnancy, is an experience you can’t relive.”
“Choreographers do not earn the kind of paycheck I’m earning,” she argued. “After another couple of years with this show, ratings be with us, my child, and my child’s child, and that child’s children, will be taken care of forever. How do I not make that happen, if I can?”
“You’re not just a choreographer,” Jason countered without missing a beat. “This show has let you demonstrate that. You, unlike me, are a television personality.”
Ellie shook her head, utterly baffled. “How do you not see yourself as the star you are?” She glanced at Kat. “How does he not see it? Because I know he really doesn’t.”
Kat noticed Jason and she knew exactly why. She even went so far as to let herself, for the first time, believe it was true. “He knows what he wants and it’s not the show,” she said. Jason’s eyes warmed with her obvious understanding, and she added, “He wants to direct. He doesn’t want the spotlight.” She refocused on Ellie. “But if you want to host, or judge, or whatever it is you want to do, you’ll get to do it. There’s always an opportunity for someone great and you are great, Ellie. I’ve worked with you. Many big-name stars have worked with you. Everyone sings your praises. The studio knows you’re worth waiting for.”
Ellie swallowed hard, looking pale and strained. “David wants to quit his job to be with me. I don’t want him to quit. His career is important, too. What if he blames me for losing opportunities that may never come up again?”
Jason’s cell phone rang and he glanced at it. “That’s our producer checking on Ellie. I’ll take it outside.”
He headed out of the room and when the door was shut, Ellie asked, “What do I do, Kat? I don’t know how to make this work. What did you do when it was you and Jason?”
Everything wrong, Kat thought. She’d done everything wrong, and so how could she dare offer advice to Ellie, when she herself had failed in the same circumstances? But how did she sit back and watch Ellie make the same mistakes?
Kat let out a breath. “You go with your heart, not your ambition, and only you know where that is. But more than anything, you take care of yourself and you take care of your baby.”
“I don’t want to lose my baby or my husband, and I’ve worked so hard for my career. I thought I could have it all. Maybe that was overly ambitious.”
“You can have it all,” Kat assured her. “Just don’t let yourself get wrapped up in the fear factor this business creates. You and your husband sit down and think about how to make your dreams come true, but don’t forget that dreams are to be shared with the person, and people, you love. Don’t make rash decisions. Talk to David. Really talk to him about your actions and how they impact both you and your family. Then listen to his thoughts, his feelings, his needs. Both of you have to voice your fears. Don’t hold them inside. Don’t assume the other one knows what they are.”
The phone rang and Ellie answered it, and Kat quickly realized it was David. Kat stood up and headed to the hallway, exhausted to the bone, and didn’t see Jason anywhere. It was three in the morning and Jason would be leaving that afternoon. She sank down into a chair. In only a few hours, he would get on a plane and fly to Denver.
Kat rested her elbows on her knees and dropped her face to her hands. This situation with Ellie was like reliving her past with Jason. She couldn’t help but let her thoughts travel to the biggest regret of their relationship, and the one moment that had changed everything. To a hotel room and a phone call that had led to “the end.”
Suddenly, Jason was there, kneeling in front of her. “We aren’t them,” he said, one hand stroking over her hair and the other resting on her leg, strong and comforting in a way only his touch could be.