8
Isipped on the coffee and waited for my husband to come out of the shower. I couldn’t help but think of him in there all alone and wonder what would have happened if I’d slipped in there to join him. It was a tempting thought, but I was still a little nervous about thinking of us together that way. He was so hot, so cut, and I felt like I’d been squidged into my clothes in comparison. Maybe that’s why he’d picked me to stick this out, because he thought he could see me as a wife compared to the, no doubt, supermodels he likely dated before me.
Wife. Husband. There were those words again. I knew they were accurate, nothing more than accurate descriptors of what the two of us shared, but they didn’t sound right in my brain. I had lain awake the night before in that enormous bed in that big, empty white room and wondered about the two of us together. Husband and wife, wife and husband. A married couple. I was living in my husband’s apartment, waiting for him to come out of the shower, and he had slept on the couch to give me the space I needed. My husband was a gentleman, at least I knew that.
When he emerged again, he was fully dressed, his hair a little messy and damp, but he had a steely determination in his eyes that told me this day was going to be full-on.
“So, tell me, what are your plans for the day?” he asked curiously. I supposed I would have to tell him about Jolene one way or another, and I might as well get it out now while I had the chance.
“I’m actually going to go visit my sister,” I replied as casually as I could. “I want to let her know I made it back all right.”
“Of course.” He nodded. “And then we’ll head down to my grandmother’s—”
“Wait, what?” I held my hand up. “What are you talking about?”
“My nonna, I told you.” He furrowed his brow. I shook my head.
“I didn’t realize you were talking about your grandmother,” I admitted. When he had brought the name up earlier, I had stupidly assumed it was someone he worked with or something. When he had referenced me meeting his family in Greece, I had hoped that was so far off in the future, I’d never have to think about it. It was one thing to push this deception forward in theory, for him to be able to tell his family he had a wife, but the thought of me meeting them so soon after knowing him for such little time was fucking terrifying.
“You really needed that coffee, huh?” he remarked, crossing his arms over his chest. “So, are you going to come with me to meet her?”
“Do I have much of a choice?” I replied, and he shook his head.
“I need you to be able to convince her, even if you can’t convince anyone else,” he replied. I nodded, hoping he couldn’t see the stone-cold panic written all over my face. I felt stupid for thinking it was going to go any other way. This was obvious. He needed this more than he needed anything else that came with the marriage, yet here I was hoping we would be able to avoid them for the rest of the year, and I could walk away from this unscathed. He expected me to look into the eyes of his grandmother and lie straight to her face?
“Well, I need to go see my sister today,” I shot back firmly. “I’m not going to miss out on it. Okay?”
“Okay.” He frowned, and I could tell he was pissed I wasn’t bending to what he wanted. Well, we were married now, and married couples had disagreements all the time. He would just have to get used to it.
“When do I sign the contract?” I asked before I could stop myself. I knew it would seem shallow, but I needed to know when this was getting locked down. If I was meeting his family, then I was getting a promise of my money, sooner rather than later. He wasn’t the only one who could rush things along.
“I’ll call my office and tell them to start putting it together this afternoon,” he answered coolly. “We can go over the details and the payment plan when we get back.”
“Fine,” I agreed, a little reluctant. I wanted to have my signature on that paper before I did anything, but he probably wanted to give me a test run first, no matter how crazy that sounded.
“So, you want to tell me why you asked for so much?” he asked. I chewed my lip and eyed him, wondering if I could tell this man the truth about my situation. Even my closest friends probably didn’t know the worst of it, the few of them there were. I had figured the best way to keep going in the face of all that was happening was to gloss over as much as I could manage, but I guessed I would have to tell my husband the truth sooner or later. He would have a whole year to get it out of me.
“I have a lot of student loans,” I began, starting with the stuff that was easy to admit, wringing my hands together and trying to think of the best way to phrase what came next.
“So do a lot of people.” He cocked an eyebrow. “There’s something more than that.”
I lowered my gaze and took a deep breath. It felt as though everything I had been trying so hard to hide was threatening to well up and overtake me, and I didn’t like how out-of-control it made me feel.
“My sister used to live there with me,” I began, burbling so fast, I didn’t have time to think about how I barely knew this man I was spilling my secrets to. “She has a lot of issues. Physical ones. I was caring for her for a long time, but then I finished up grad school, and I needed a job. I couldn’t be there for her as much as I wanted, so I found this place for her, a facility where they can look after her, but it’s so expensive.”
“What about your parents?” He frowned. “Can’t they help you out with her?”
“My parents …” I trailed off. I never wanted to have to say what I knew I needed to. I didn’t want to tell him the truth, but I knew I had to if I was going to convince him I was serious about this and that I needed his help. I guessed he would have to hear the truth about me and everything I’d been scrambling so hard to keep under wraps all this time.
“My parents died a long time ago in an accident,” I continued quickly, bluntly, hoping if I just got these words out sooner rather than later, we would never have to discuss this again. He frowned.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he murmured, and he reached out to touch my hand. I drew it away, knowing if he tried to comfort me, I was only going to end up bursting into tears at the memory of my family, the memory that felt so far removed by now. Sometimes, they felt so close, I could reach out and touch them, but other times, like today, I would struggle to remember the sound of their voices or their sense of humor or the way they liked to dress.
“Yeah.” I shook my head. “So, I came home to look after my sister, and I studied for my degree in my spare time, and I used my student loans and the payout from the accident to support the two of us till now. But since my loans aren’t coming in any longer and they’ve started repayment status …”
I trailed off and caught my breath. It was the first time I’d ever laid it out for another person like that, so bluntly. It stung to say it out loud and admit to someone else the utter mess I’d landed myself in, that I’d landed Jolene in too. How could I have thought I could live off my student loans forever? Even I knew they were going to run out at some point. And yet, despite that, I had poured that money away into supporting us month to month. Now, it was gone, and I didn’t know what I was going to do.
No.I stopped myself and forced myself to look up into his eyes. I knew what I was going to do. I had him now, and I wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip away. I took a deep, shaky breath and continued.
“And so, I need the money or at least a guarantee that it’s coming,” I finally went on. “I know it sounds ruthless, but I can’t risk leaving my sister out in the cold, not after everything we’ve already been through. I know the home she’s in now is perfect for her, and I don’t want her to have to leave. I want the time to focus on my own career. And I want to make my parents proud, of both of us, and I can’t do that if I’m scrabbling around for spare change every minute of the day.”
I realized there was a lump in my throat, and I didn’t meet his gaze, keeping my eyes fixed to the ground. It was better that way. I was devastated, recounting everything like that, but I managed to swallow down the anger and the hurt that still pulsed deep in my soul and waited for him to respond. He knew the truth now. The only thing that mattered was how he reacted to it.
“I’ll get the contracts drawn up,” he promised after a long pause. “And I-I’m sorry you had to go through that, Amaya. But I’ll make sure you and your sister aren’t left wanting.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, nodding, and he left me alone in the room once more. I squeezed my eyes shut and finally allowed a single tear to roll down my cheek. It was easy to throw myself into work and look after Jolene and my studies and forget all about my parents, but then I would pick at the wound of their memory and be reminded all over again of the horror of what had happened, how painful those thoughts would always be to me.
I made my way into the bedroom and perched on the end of the bed, putting my head in my hands. What would they think of me if they could see me now? Would they tell me I was being an idiot, literally selling myself to this man for a whole year? Would they be proud of me for looking after Jolene above all else? Would they swoop in to save me or leave me to my own devices? I wished more than anything that I could talk to them and ask them what I should do, but if they were alive, then I wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place. If they were alive, they would be the ones looking after Jolene and supporting me through my studies, and I would have never had to take cash from this stranger to playact at being his wife for a whole year.
I closed my eyes, thoughts rushing, and forced them to slow down. I was in this situation now, for better or worse, and that meant making the best of it. I had no idea what my parents might have said if they could see me, but since they couldn’t, I had to run on what I could remember and trust that wherever they were, they knew I was doing this for the good of Jolene, me, and the family. What little of the family that was left.