I reach across under the blanket as we silently watch each other. My fingertips graze across his ribs and he sucks in a breath. “Fuck it,” he murmurs.
In the blink of an eye, he reaches out and draws me tight into his body, holding me there where an instant peacefulness settles over me.
His arm curls around me as my head finds its place on his chest and my hand falls down on top of him. My leg hitches up over his hip and his hand rests against my thigh, holding me in place, right where I belong.
It’s perfect.
It’s exactly what my body has been craving since he last touched me on Tuesday.
I don’t know when it happened or how, but somewhere over the past two weeks, I have become one hundred percent his. My body, mind, and soul belong to him and I’m going to have to work out how to get them back because he’s no longer mine. Maybe he never was, but the truth of the matter is that soon enough, he’s going to be someone’s daddy. He’s going to have a family of his own and that future doesn’t include me.
But for now, I can pretend that just for tonight, I’m his.
My finger traces over the lily tattoo on his chest as I listen to the racing beat of his heart. “Noah?” I whisher in the night, feeling more sober than ever.
“Mmm?”
“Can you tell me about her?”
“Who?” he questions. “Lily?”
I nod my head against his warm skin and he exhales a deep breath before falling silent. I fear I’ve lost him, but when the words start flowing out, I find myself taking it all in and seeing a whole new side to the guy who’s quickly stealing my heart.
“She was beautiful,” he tells me before a small chuckle vibrates through his chest. “She had Tully’s bluntness and my stubbornness. I swear, she could have taken over the world if she just got the chance.”
“I bet she would have put you in your place a few times.”
A fond smile spreads over his face as his thumb moves back and forth over the skin of my thigh. “She sure fucking did. Apart from you, she’s the only one who’s ever been able to shut me down.”
A million questions fly through my mind but now’s not the time. “She sounds like my kind of girl,” I tell him. “Do you miss her?”
Noah lets out a sigh that has me desperate to take away whatever pain is filling his heart. “More than you could ever know,” he admits before a soft smile graces his lips. “You know I haven’t been able to eat a strawberry since.”
“What?” I grunt. “Why the hell not?”
“The day she… passed, she kept asking me to go get her a strawberry milkshake. She wasn’t supposed to be eating, but we knew time was nearly up, so I went to get her the stupid milkshake just to make her happy, even though it probably would have made her throw up.” Sensing he needs me, my fingers run down his body until they find his hand on my thigh. My fingers weave through his and I let out a sigh of relief when he doesn’t push me away. “I got back just in time to see her last breath,” he continues. “That stupid shake nearly took away my last moments with her.”
“You never know,” I tell him. “Maybe she was trying to save you the burden of having to say goodbye.”
Noah brings up our hands and traces my finger over the pattern of the heartbeat on the lily tattoo. “This was her final seconds,” he tells me. “Whether she was trying to save me from it or not, I never would have forgiven myself if I wasn’t there for her.”
“Well, the way I see it,” I smile. “If she loved strawberry milkshakes so much, she’d probably be pissed off that you haven’t been having them. How’s she supposed to happily live through you if you’re not drinking her favorite milkshake?”
“Fuck me,” he groans “That’s the worst reasoning I’ve ever heard, but crazy enough that it might just be true.”
“So, you’ll start looking at strawberries like you can’t live without them?”
He rolls his eyes. “We’ll see,” he murmurs. “Now, go to sleep before you end up barfing all over my bed.”
With that, I close my eyes and let out a breath as Noah’s arms tighten around my body. “Night, Noah.”
“Goodnight, Spitfire.” Those final words send me into a world of unconsciousness and I find it’s the best damn sleep I’ve ever had.
Chapter 16
Something crashes down on my face and I wake with a start. “What the fuck?” I grunt, looking around and realizing I’m in Noah’s bedroom. “Shit,” I groan, hoping I haven’t done anything stupid.
A voice clears near the door and I turn to find Tully leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest, and a less than impressed scowl across her pretty face. “Glad to see you’re still alive,” she snaps.