My Fake Fling

“Fuck no. And no rodents. I saw those nasty creatures in those cages upstairs. That’s just wrong.”

She laughed again. “I understand. We’ll talk about it when the need arises.”

“Thea, no way,” I said. “I love you and you’re hot, but I’m not going to invite a rodent to live in the house. I pay a company a lot of money to keep them out of the house.”

“Like I said, we’ll talk about it.” She kissed me, using her powers of persuasion to make me forget all about the rodent situation. “I should go,” she said and stepped back. “I left Ally holding down the fort.”

“Alone?” I asked.

“No. There were plenty of volunteers. Did you talk to the police yet?”

I shook my head. “No, why? What happened?”

“They caught them,” I said, grinning. “They were the same trio that attacked you. They confessed to kicking the ass of a douchebag with a Porsche. Their words. Not mine.”

“That’s rude,” I said. “I didn’t even get a chance to be a douchebag. They jumped me before I could.”

“I guess you just look like a douche,” she said.

“Very cute. So, it’s over?”

“I think so,” she said. “I filled out my insurance paperwork and passed along the information. I doubt we’ll ever see a penny from them, but from what it sounded like, they have quite the long rap sheet. Hopefully, they’ll get to stay behind bars for a while.”

“Good,” I said. “When they get out, they’re going to come back to a very different neighborhood. We already have a contract with a private security firm. The place is going to be safe. Someone wants to sell drugs or mug someone, they’re going to be very sorry.”

“Just don’t make it too unaffordable,” she said. “No one wants gentrification.”

“I’ll do my best,” I said. “I’ll see you tonight. Should I bring home some dinner?”

“I’ll get it,” she said. “You just bring yourself. I might have to thank you again for your very generous offer to build me a new shelter.”

“It’s not an offer,” I corrected. “I’m going to do it. You will have a new shelter.”

“In that case, I better make it a very special night.”

She walked out of the room, but I didn’t follow. I couldn’t. If I walked out right now in my current condition, I’d get accused of indecency. She had that effect on me. When she made promises like that, I was helpless to stop my body’s reaction.

While I was trapped in the room, I made a call to my architect and design team. I was going to plan a big surprise for her as well. I wanted to show her just how serious I was about making her happy.