The Imperfections

I’m not trying to bury her under guilt. I don’t expect her to make perfect decisions at her age—God knows I didn’t—but I also want to make sure she’s learning from this mistake. At the risk of really pissing her off, I ask, “How do you think you’d feel if your husband cheated on you?”

“I’m sure I’d be devastated,” she answers, looking over at me. “But Theo didn’t cheat on her because of me. Bri got cheated on because she’s married to a shitty man with no loyalty to anyone but himself. If it hadn’t been me, it would have been someone else. I did not tempt that man to stray—he practically threw himself at me.”

Well, I don’t disagree with any of that. My sister is married to a weak, shitty man, and I wish like hell she would’ve listened to me when I told her I had a bad feeling about him before she made any vows.

“Would you cheat on your husband if you felt like something was missing from your relationship?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“No, of course not,” she answers, shaking her head. “I’d probably just tell him what’s missing and we’d try to find it together—but I’d also never marry anyone I didn’t respect and have an open, safe connection with. I don’t think Bri and Theo have any of that. I don’t think he’s comfortable telling her what he’s feeling, and I’m not sure Theo actually has respect for anyone, now that I’ve seen different sides of him. I think Theo might just be a spoiled child, and Bri’d be better off if he got run over by a freight train.”

That last remark surprises a laugh out of me. Alyssa looks over at me, and since I’m laughing and not mad, she gives up her defensive position, scooting back down on the bed and climbing under the thin cover of the bed sheet with me.

“What? She would,” she says, smiling faintly.

“I agree. The life insurance benefits would be worth a hell of a lot more than he is.”

Alyssa snuggles up against me, draping her arm across my abdomen. “Then Bri could move on and marry a better man, someone more like you—but, you know, not her brother.”

“Bri’s never been attracted to the good guys, unfortunately. When we were younger, I figured she’d grow out of her bad taste, but then she married that piece of shit.”

“In her defense, there are a lot of pieces of shit out there, and it’s not always easy to tell that’s what they are right away. It’s much harder to find anyone worthwhile. I’ve seen that from observing my mom and my sister over the years. It’s why I’m single a lot. I don’t want to date crappy guys just to pass the time. I’d rather wait for a good one.”

“I’m sure you’ll find one,” I tell her. “You can’t have any lack of opportunities, looking the way you do.”

Shrugging one shoulder, she says soberly, “It’ll be harder now. My sister’s prettier than me, and she can’t find a good man. A lot of men don’t want to date a single mom, and a lot of the ones who do think the woman will be desperate and they can get away with anything. It’s gross.”

“That is gross,” I agree, frowning. “I can’t imagine a man thinking that. Motherhood isn’t a ding against someone.”

Smiling up at me with something like affection on her face, she tells me, “I think you might be a different breed. The women of the world don’t even know men like you exist.”

“Probably my own fault,” I say, lightly. “I’m too busy futzing around my own property to go meet any of ’em.”

Alyssa giggles at me and fills me up with a sense of satisfaction. Closing her eyes, her face lit with pleasure, she hugs me tight. “You’re a hidden gem.”

I shake my head, looking over at her fondly. “You’re awfully strange. Not many women would describe a man that way after meeting him the way you met me yesterday.”

Shrugging, she says, “It takes a lot to get my attention. Your way certainly worked.”

“And you do have a propensity toward shitty taste in men,” I point out, giving her that. “I certainly came off like one.”

“Then you shifted into an actual good guy. You tricked me into noticing you. Well played, mister.”

“I wouldn’t call myself a good guy, but I’m damn sure not like Theo.”

“I bet you’d never cheat on your wife in a million years,” she tells me with unreasonable confidence in my sense of loyalty.

“Of course I wouldn’t. What’s the point of marrying a woman just to hurt her like that? Doesn’t make sense to me.”

“You’re not selfish.” She hugs me tighter. “It only makes sense to people who think more about themselves than others, and that’s not you.”