The Imperfections

I’m about to drag Dirk off in the other direction so we don’t run into Brant, but Dirk heads back toward the main walkway before I can stop him.

“Oh, hey—” I start, but before I can finish, I’m interrupted by a familiar shout.

“Alyssa! Hey, there’s Alyssa,” Thompson calls out, pointing in my direction and looking back over his small shoulder.

My eyes widen as I spot Bri and Theo trailing behind them. They haven’t seen me yet, so I turn, not even bringing Dirk, and race through the crowd in the other direction.

“Whoa,” Dirk says, whirling around and searching for me. He finds me and follows, but my heart’s racing now, and I’d really rather leave than stay for the fireworks.

A shame, too, because I love fireworks.

Once I’m far enough away that I can slow down without fear of being caught, Dirk falls into step beside me. “Hey, where’s the fire?”

I’m so embarrassed, and I feel absolutely awful for running away from Thompson when he was calling out to me like that. “Sorry. I just saw someone I don’t want to run into,” I explain half-heartedly, looking around, kinda paranoid.

There are a lot of reasons I don’t want to run into them. I can’t face Brant when I’m on a date with someone else, for one thing. I also can’t explain to Thompson why I stopped babysitting him, and I don’t especially want to face Bri and Theo—especially because I’m not sure Theo even knows I’m alive. Brant wasn’t too clear on what he would tell Theo about how he handled me, but it just seems best to avoid running into all of them at the carnival.

“Big, scary ex?” Dirk teases, rather adorably, actually.

Yes, I think, but I shake my head no. “Just people I used to babysit for. Maybe we should go.”

“Nah, we’re not going anywhere. I just found you that damn elephant ear, and now we’re going to enjoy some fireworks. There are plenty of people spread out on the lawn—I’m sure you won’t run into whoever you’re trying to avoid again.”

“I’m less sure,” I tell him, looking over my shoulder.

Exaggerating his own cockiness, he tells me, “Well, if you see them again, just hide behind my bicep. They’ll never spot you there.”

I bust up laughing, and Dirk smiles, wrapping his free arm around my waist. “That’s better.”

I smile a little easier, looking over at him. “Thank you for that incredibly obnoxious remark. It was exactly what I needed to hear.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Finder of elephant ears, utterer of obnoxious remarks—I’m a man of many talents.” He looks out across the lawn for a place to sit. Pointing with his lemonade cup, he says, “Right over there, I see a spot. Follow me—I might have to push some little old ladies out of the way.”

“And kick some puppies?” I play along, following him as he leads me to this spot he’s found.

“Hey, those puppies were asking for it,” he tosses back.

I shake my head. “Totally impervious to their big, adorable puppy dog eyes. Boy, you do have a lot of talents.”

Looking back at me with a cute little smirk, he assures me, “You’ve only scratched the surface, baby.”

Grinning, I follow his lead. If I had a free hand, I might even reach down and twine ours together.

To be honest, I had my doubts about going on this date. I wasn’t sure I was ready to open up to someone else again so soon after having my heart scratched up by Brant, but I didn’t see the point in staying home alone and inviting sadness when I could go out instead, either.

I like Dirk, though. I’m not sure how he’ll react to the news that I’m pregnant, but I like him enough that I think I should tell him sooner rather than later. If it’s too much for him and he wants to bolt, I’d rather know that now than invest more of myself in another man who isn’t even willing to consider traveling the distance with me.

I don’t want to be like my mom or my sister, dating losers who don’t stick around. Maybe I’ve already repeated one of their mistakes, but I don’t have to stay on that path. Brant might not have been the one, but he did open my eyes to the fact that maybe I need to aim higher. My baby deserves better than what I had, and it’s my job to ensure he or she has it.

A little thread of melancholy wraps around me as I look at Dirk and consider how old he is. He’s 19, a year older than me, but he’s not even in the prime of his life yet. Do I really think he’d wanna saddle himself with a girlfriend who’s carrying someone else’s baby?

Dirk’s wearing a red, plaid shirt open over his white T-shirt and jeans, and since we didn’t bring a blanket to spread out on the lawn, he takes his shirt off and spreads it on the ground for me. Then he sits down behind it and spreads his legs, patting the ground between them.