My prints are everywhere now.
Even if it seemed like the best option at this point, I can’t kill her and get away with it now. I gave her too much leeway, let her go back to her life when I made up my mind not to hurt her. Now I can’t change my mind even if she changes hers.
This is why I don’t like to fucking trust people. People are so goddamn unreliable.
She doesn’t know any of this, though. She doesn’t think the way I do, doesn’t know my hands are tied and I can’t hurt her now even if I want to. She got into my truck tonight thinking I might be back to wanting to kill her, and she did it because I threatened to permanently remove myself from her life.
I do still have some control over this, over her. It’s her affection for me. She still has some, or she wouldn’t have been moved by a threat like that.
Knowing that, I move to eliminate the distance she put between us. I reach around to the small of her back and pull her body against mine. She inhales sharply and brings her hands up to rest on my shoulders, then she looks up at me with remorse shining in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Brant. I don’t want you to think you can’t trust me.”
Her words soothe part of my concerns. “And I don’t want you to think I look at being with you like the worst thing in the world.”
She averts her gaze. “You make it seem that way sometimes.”
“Well, I won’t anymore,” I promise.
“Because you’re gonna kill me and dump my body in the lake, or…?”
My lips curve up ever so slightly. “I hope not. The way I see it, we’ve got three options going forward.”
Her eyes widen slightly, her attention rapt. “What are they?”
“Option one, you can keep being pissy and spiteful and running your mouth, saying things you shouldn’t. Obviously, this option means I have to kill you and toss your body in the lake.”
Alyssa wrinkles up her nose in disapproval. “I’m not a fan of option one. What else have you got for me?”
“Option two, we can tell Bri you were lying about me being the father because you were being a little brat, but while in the short-term this seems okay, this is actually a bad option. This option means Bri starts trusting you a little less, maybe seeing a side of you she didn’t see before. This option means as time goes on, maybe Bri starts noticing things now that she’s looking, and maybe down the road she finds out about you and Theo, finds out the baby’s his… Your baby would have a chance to be born beforehand, but this option also has a lot of potential for you ending up at the bottom of the lake.”
Her frown deepens. “That’s disappointing. I was hoping only option one ended up with me in the lake. I’m starting to get really concerned about option three.”
“Option three does not end with you in the lake, unless you throw yourself there,” I assure her.
Her frown eases. “Oh, good. Let’s go with option three, then.”
I cock an eyebrow at her. “You haven’t even heard what it is.”
“Doesn’t matter, does it? It’s the only one left, and the only one that doesn’t make me fish food. I’m going with door number three.”
Tightening my arms around her so her body’s fitted snugly against mine, I look down at her. “Option three isn’t easy, either. Option three is going to mean living a lie like it’s the truth. I’m not opposed to that because I think it’s the only way any of this can happen, but that’s what it’ll mean, and not everyone can pull off a large-scale, long-term deception. Can you lie?”
“I don’t like to lie, but if it means sparing someone from being hurt, I think so,” she tells me.
“Now, while it’s gonna mean lying to other people, option three only works if I can trust you completely. I’m talking 100 percent trust. Trust you with my life kind of trust.”
Nodding vehemently, she says, “You can. I promise, nothing like what happened back at the fair will happen again.”
“That’s not the only way I mean.”
Her frown makes a reappearance. “How else do you mean?”
“I’m not the kind of man you commit to and then change your mind about,” I warn her. “You and I are in different stages of life. You’re young. You’ve still got a lot of growing up to do. I don’t mind that, as long as you grow with me instead of away from me, but if you grow way from me, we’re gonna have a problem. I am not a temporary fix to your problems. I take my commitments seriously, and I expect the same out of you. By this point in my life, I didn’t intend on ever getting married, but you better be clear that if I do, I’m damn sure not getting divorced.”