I frown, not having expected him to apologize, but I don’t lower my guard an inch, regardless.
Theo goes on without prompting. “When you told me you were pregnant, I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Oh, well, in that case you’re totally forgiven for wanting me dead,” I say sarcastically.
“I know it was a shitty thing to do.” When he lifts his gaze to mine, genuine remorse seems to sparkle in his blue eyes.
“Yes, it was,” I state, holding on to every bit of my anger.
Cocking an eyebrow, he says, “But to be fair, it doesn’t seem like you held it against Brant, and he’s the one who showed up to do the deed.”
“He didn’t know me,” I state, meeting his gaze. “You did, at least a little. I was never anything but nice to you—too nice, clearly.”
Theo sighs, tilting his head back and looking miserable. “Fuck. You’re right. I’m sorry, Alyssa.”
I didn’t expect such immediate acquiescence, and for some reason, it makes me uncomfortable. Can remorse be real if it comes that quickly, that spontaneously? Probably not.
“I don’t know what you’re playing at,” I tell him, my tone more subdued, “but I don’t believe you and I don’t forgive you. If you’re so impulsive and easily changeable that you can just…” I trail off, not entirely sure how to finish it.
“Just what?” he asks, an almost coaxing playfulness dancing in his eyes. “Admit when I’m wrong and apologize?”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he’s trying to lure me back in. I don’t know how he thinks that’s possible now, not only because of what he has done to me or the even worse thing he tried to do, but because he knows I’m with Brant now. We’re in his back yard at a party he is hosting with his wife, and how can he possibly imagine I would find him charming at this point?
Theo’s slippery, and I never noticed that before. I guess I should have, all things considered, but looking at him in this post-Brant world is like looking at an entirely different person. He hasn’t changed, but maybe I have, because I certainly see him differently.
Meeting his gaze, I tell him plainly, “I don’t trust you, not one bit. I know we’ll have to be around each other for years to come, and I will be polite and keep up appearances for Bri’s sake, but make no mistake, Theo, we are not friends.”
“I’m sad you feel that way,” he tells me, seeming to mean it.
“You must be insane if you thought I’d feel any other way.”
Frowning and shaking his head, he says, “How the hell did you and Brant happen if you’re so unforgiving all of a sudden?”
“You do not compare to Brant,” I inform him. “He may be a jerk sometimes, but he is always genuine. He cares about me, and he takes care of me. He only planned to hurt me because he didn’t know me at the time. He thought I was a threat and he was trying to protect his sister. When you sent him after me, you knew me, Theo. You knew I wasn’t some heartless bitch who would ever try to hurt your family, but you were willing to hurt me, anyway. You weren’t looking out for Bri or even trying to protect your kids. You only cared about protecting yourself.”
Sighing, Theo looks over his shoulder and glances at the people seated around the pool. Looking back at me, his voice a tad lower, he says, “I’d like to talk about this somewhere more private. You’re way off base, but I can’t really say all I’d like to say when I’m worried about being overheard.”
“I’m not interested in anything you have to say,” I tell him. “I’m certainly not going anywhere alone with you, not after last time.”
“I won’t hurt you,” he promises. “Whether you believe me or not, I am legitimately sorry. I’ve stayed up nights thinking about what I did to you—or, what I thought I did. I panicked, Alyssa. I didn’t know what to do. I know you think I was just being a selfish asshole, but I didn’t believe you when you said all that accommodating shit. I figured it was easy enough to say, and yeah, maybe you meant it at the time, but when the baby actually came and you were stuck doing everything on your own, you would start to feel ripped off and bitter. I just didn’t want to risk losing my family, and maybe that was the wrong call. Maybe… maybe I should have stopped thinking about myself long enough to think about you and what you were going through.”
“Well, you didn’t,” I answer, watching Levi hit the water and rear back in surprise when it splashes him. “You only thought about yourself.”