The Imperfections

It makes my heart ache that he has enough doubts to consider I’ve done anything, but I ignore the ache and bring my own hand up to cradle his against my face. Looking up at him, I promise, “I’m never gonna hurt you, either.”

24

Alyssa

In the days following Theo accosting me in the barn, the memory of that day casts a pall over the house. Brant’s not home as much. Says he’s at work, but he changed his work schedule so he could be home more, so I’m not sure if that’s true. I spend a lot of time alone, so I throw myself into what remains of the wedding planning.

There’s not a lot left to do at this point, though, aside from the actual day-of set-up.

It’s late when Brant finally comes home to find me curled up on the couch with a notebook, Scout lying on the floor in front of me.

“Hey,” he greets as he closes and locks the door behind him. His tone is subdued, like it has been a lot since he caught me in the barn with Theo.

“Hey,” I say, more enthusiastically than necessary in my poor attempt to make up for his monotone greeting. “How was work?”

“Long,” he answers, kicking off his boots.

I start to sit up, but I can’t put my feet back on the floor because Scout is sleeping where I would place them. “Are you hungry?”

Brant shakes his head, walking toward the couch. “I’m fine. You don’t have to get up.”

With a pout I’m only barely feigning, I tell him, “But I want to hug you.”

His lips curve up a little and he sits down on the empty end of the couch, sprawling out and opening his arms. “Well, come here, then.”

I don’t hesitate to accept his invitation, setting my pen and notebook on the end table and peeling off the comfy blanket I was snuggled under. I crawl across the couch so I can climb into his arms. When I do and he wraps them around me, it feels as if all is right in the world again.

“Hi,” I say.

His dark eyes twinkle with the faintest spark of amusement as he looks down at me. “Hi.”

Reaching up and passing my hand over his grizzled jawline, I tell him, “I missed you.”

His gaze drifts away from my face, dropping lower and raking over my chest.

I worked at the yoga studio this afternoon, and my uniform is so comfy, I’m still wearing it—a pair of black yoga pants and a pale pink tank top with Namaste in a loopy scrawl across the chest.

“Did you work today?”

Normally, he knows my schedule, but I only worked today because someone called off. Without bothering to offer that explanation, I nod my head.

Frowning a little, he says, “I thought you had today off.”

“Call-in,” I explain, since he’s so curious.

He nods woodenly, then asks, “Did you go anywhere after?”

I don’t allow my guards to rise, but an instinct passes through me to let me know I probably should. I’m already tired and I don’t feel up to his jealousy tonight, but I know he has a reason to be suspicious of me now, so I answer him anyway. “I went to the grocery store, then I came home.”

“Since you were in town, you could’ve stopped by the bar and said hi,” he remarks.

“I didn’t know if you’d be there,” I answer honestly.

Scowling, he asks, “What do you mean, you didn’t know if I’d be there?”

I shrug noncommittally, not offering anything more. I’m disinterested in this line of questioning anyway, so I change the subject before he has a chance to further grill me. “I had an idea I wanted to run by you. You know how we couldn’t decide what to give to the wedding party for gifts? Well, you know those gorgeous coasters you made, the ones I saw in your workshop? I was thinking maybe you could make a set of coasters for each attendant. Obviously I don’t know how hard those are to make, so if that’s too much work and you don’t have time, just tell me and I’ll think of something else.”

He doesn’t seem for or against the idea, but he says, “I can make those, if you want me to.”

“I thought it would be nice, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“It’s not.” He loops an arm around me and hauls me off his lap, back over onto the cushion beside him so he can stand.

“I didn’t mean right now,” I say lightly, unsure why he’s getting up.

He glances back at me but doesn’t move to sit down. “It’s been a long day. I’m gonna go take a shower.”

“Oh. Okay,” I say softly, watching him disappear into the kitchen and feeling myself deflate a little as soon as he’s out of sight.

I hate this. I hate this distance, and I don’t know what to do with it.