Elise had always been pretty, but when I first met her, it was a girlish pretty. As I lived under Mateo’s roof, serving him faithfully in a capacity I always swore I never would, she grew up. Elise hadn’t been to an actual school since arriving at the mansion, so I offered to step in. I was no teacher, certainly, but I was knowledgeable enough to fill in the blanks of her education, to catch her up and introduce her to subjects she may not have delved into as deeply otherwise. Technically I was her tutor, but I lived for those moments. After she was finished cleaning, after I was finished doing whatever Mateo needed from me that day, after I’d washed the blood off my hands, it was the sweet sound of Elise’s voice, the sparkle in her blue eyes, the glow in her cheeks… those were the things that helped blot the stains from my soul.
It’s been a long, long time since I last sat with her like this, letting her read passages from classical literature, or debating the varying levels of atrociousness different historical figures managed to reach in their lifetimes. I knew I’d missed it, but I didn’t realize how much until now. The stress of today, of this week, of everything melts away as I listen to the comforting sound of Elise reading to me.
“’He now took the liberty of kissing away her tears, and catching the sighs as they issued from her lips; telling her if grief was infectious, he was resolved to have his share; protesting he would gladly exchange passions with her, and be content to bear her load of sorrow, if she would as willingly ease the burden of his love.’”
She stops, sighing, and glances at me. “It’s too bad. That could be so romantic.”
“You and your terrible heroes,” I say, shaking my head.
Her nose wrinkles up adorably. “I still think Beauplaisir’s an idiot,” she states.
I smile. “He’s quite unimpressive.”
“Maybe if the book was longer I’d understand the appeal,” she states.
“Beyond money, I don’t think he has any,” I say.
She shakes her head, caressing the page. “It sounds so romantic.”
“A rapey, unfaithful wastrel with money and station?” I ask lightly.
Elise rolls her eyes at me. “No, that passage. It should be about someone better than him.”
“Agreed,” I say, wondering if she sees the irony in this conversation.
Replacing the yellow bookmark, she says, “I know I didn’t even finish the scene, but I’m going to stop here so I can reread it again tomorrow.”
“Fine by me.”
Flashing me a warm smile as she closes the book, she says, “This was nice.”
“Yeah, it was,” I agree.
She stands, placing the book on the floor in the corner. I guess I need to get a nightstand. Elise retrieves some pajamas from the box. I should probably leave so she can change, but I’m too comfortable, so she goes to the bathroom to change.
I have imagined Elise in my bed many times over, but now that we’re here, I can’t imagine it.
Normally I sleep without a shirt on, but that’s when I’m alone. Considering the burn scars all down my left side, I decide to slip into sweatpants and a thin, long-sleeved gray shirt instead. I’m already warm, so I go out to turn the air down a notch. I don’t want to freeze Elise, but damn.
When she steps out of the bathroom in a little pair of sleep shorts with a moon and stars print and a matching navy tank top with “sweet dreams” stretched across her clearly free-roaming breasts, I immediately rethink everything.
Averting my gaze so she doesn’t feel awkward, I stare instead at… well, the wall. That’s normal, right?
Elise’s long blonde hair is pulled up in a perky pony tail and she flashes me a smile as she heads back to the bedroom.
Shit, I’m not ready for this.
She didn’t turn off any of the lights, probably not sure if I was going to bed yet or not. It feels incredibly strange to realize I don’t have to meet Mateo at the gym in the morning, so I’ll be able to sleep in a bit.
Then the real work begins. I scheduled a haircut first thing, figuring I should clean up a bit since I’ll be going to conventional interviews. I haven’t worked a regular job in a little over ten years, but I falsified some recent work experience to get the apartment, so I’m using that on applications, too. Somehow I don’t think my actual work experience will land me any ordinary gigs.
I want to give Elise a normal life.
Once I’ve turned off all the lights, I return to the bedroom. Elise is already curled up on her side of the bed, so I take the side that’s left and settle in. Given she’s been with Mateo since she was 15, I know this is the first time she’s ever shared a bed with a man, and I’m hoping she doesn’t feel too weird about it.