It’s enough to pull me out of the present moment. My arms fall to my sides. I’m aggravated by the heaviness in my chest, but I shake it off and reach for Mia’s coconut shampoo. Beth’s shampoo smelled like shit, but she put so many other products in her hair once she was out of the shower, it didn’t much matter. I told her to change it once and she told me it would throw off the “chemistry.” I doubt Beth ever cracked open a chemistry book in her life, but her hair care routine was not flexible.
“What’s wrong?”
My gaze snaps to Mia. “Hm? Nothing.”
Apparently unconvinced, her smooth brow furrows and she takes a step closer, looking up at me like she’s taking a reading. “You look sad.”
I offer a faintly skeptical smile. “I look sad?”
She nods her head. “You have this look sometimes, this solemn look like the world is so lonely and disappointing, you don’t even want to be part of it. You had that look just now. Am I poor shower company?”
“No,” I assure her, handing her the shampoo. “You’re a lot of things, but never poor company.”
Inexplicably, she winds her arms around my neck and presses her body against mine, gazing up at me with determined blue eyes. “No reason to be lonely with me right here.”
“Very true,” I agree, bending to kiss her lips. I can’t imagine my facial expression really gave away the moment I spent with Beth’s memory—I’m an expert at schooling that—but whatever instinct she has about it, she feels it strongly enough that she feels the need to make up for it. She wants to comfort me, so she brings a hand up to caress my face as she kisses me. Electricity courses through the feeling of thickness Beth inspired a moment ago, breaking it all up and filling me up with Mia’s affection.
My arm tightens around her waist and I spin her around, backing her up against the shower wall. My lips don’t leave hers, not even when the shampoo slips out of her hands. I brace my hands under her ass as it hits the tiled floor, pulling her pelvis close, rubbing her against my cock. I need to be inside her. Her legs are wrapped around my waist so they’re already spread. Her head drifts back against the wall when I push inside her. With the column of her neck just begging for my attention, I can’t resist kissing her neck as I piston my hips and drive my cock inside her. She moans, keeping her head back, her eyes closed. I could get more out of her right now if I felt like it. If she thinks I’m sad, she’ll work to fix it. I don’t know why, but I know she will. My instincts tell me to pounce, to cash in, but I keep myself reined in. I’m getting enough; I don’t need to take it all at once. I’m going to keep her, so I have time.
“Mateo,” she cries, sending desire through my veins. I’m already fucking her, I’m already buried deep in her warm wetness, I already have her, yet it’s not enough. I still crave her.
I want her to come. I’m not getting full satisfaction because she doesn’t want a fucking orgasm, and I want one for her.
I shift her weight, pressing her harder against the shower wall to free up one of my hands. My hand drops to her pussy and I push a thumb inside her, rubbing her clit while I fuck her. She cries out more desperately, clutching my shoulders as I pound into her.
“Please,” she says, a bit mindlessly. “Please.”
Please what? Please yes, or please no? I need a more specific please.
Just in case it’s please no, I ease up on her clit, watching her face for signs of relief.
Goddammit. Irritation courses through me over this no orgasm bullshit. The anger makes me a little rougher. I grab a fistful of her hair and pull my cock out of her without warning. She stumbles to keep up and I spin her around, grabbing one of her wrists and planting her palm against the wall of the shower. She plants the other one herself, freeing up my hand to position her ass and spread her legs the way I want them.
Giving her hair a good yank, I drive my cock back inside her. She cries out, bracing her weight on the wall, but my thrusts are brutal and she can’t quite keep up. I think about her coming, recall the feeling of her pussy convulsing around me when I made her come in Vince’s bed. The desperate noises she makes. I close my own eyes, using her body now, but reliving the pleasantness of that night. I should’ve chased the little asshole off to Joey’s more often and just kept fucking her like that—at least then she’d come for me without a potential breakdown.