Mia swallows, her eyes suddenly shiny, and I realize there are tears welling up there. She takes a step closer to me, then another step closer, then she makes the leap and hugs me. “I know,” she says, quietly, her breath warm in the crook of my neck. “I’m so sorry for that, Vince. Honestly, I didn’t really get it until I thought Mateo killed you. That’s when I realized how horrible that was. But I was so young and I didn’t know. I’d never really encountered death before. It was… I had no idea. It haunted me that I made you go through that alone.”
I wrap her tighter in my arms, just closing my eyes and breathing her in. She still uses the same damned coconut shampoo she used when we were together, and the familiar scent triggers things in my brain. Just seeing her again sparked feelings inside me I’d thought long dead. As emotionally unaffected as I am by just about every woman I happen across these days, it’s a fucking relief to feel jolts coming back now that I have Mia back. This is exactly what I wanted. This right here. I need Mia’s special brand of tenderness.
“You were willing to stay that night,” I remind her, still holding her in my arms. “I hugged you and you struggled to leave and you were willing to stay.”
“Because you gave me no choice, Vince. I wasn’t staying because I changed my mind, because I didn’t want to be with him—and that was before I even knew what it would be like with him. I promise you, now that I know, my heart is even further out of reach for you than it ever was before. I’m not saying that to be mean,” she adds, pulling back to look into my eyes. “It’s just the truth. You want my honesty? There it is. I’m madly, deeply, eternally in love with Mateo. I hate that I hurt you and I wish I could mend your heart in some way, but I am not the woman for you. You deserve someone who feels that way about you, and that will never be me. You were my first love and you will always have a place in my heart, but it will never be the space you want. You’ve gotta let me go, Vince. Literally and emotionally.”
She’s depressing the hell out of me. I refuse to believe this shit. There was a time she thought the same thing about him, but she’s movable if you’re patient enough.
“Just don’t commit to hating this,” I request, since it’s the smallest thing I can think to ask for. “Let yourself see what life here would be like. I know you miss the family you made there, but would it be the worst thing to make your own here? Bella isn’t your daughter, she’s his, and he’s not your husband, because you’re sharing him with another woman. I’m not saying that to be mean. Just open up your mind to this. You can have your own family here. I’ll give you babies if you want babies. You can meet the Vegas family eventually, once everything calms down. I know I’ve been a little bit of a dick up to this point, but I just needed to keep you under control. You know I love you. You know I’ve loved you from the beginning. You won’t ever have to share me with anyone else. I don’t get bored like he does. And to be honest, you’ve been with him for four years. I’m not trying to be a dick, but your window is coming to a close. Maybe it hasn’t yet, maybe things are still good now, but in another year or two, do you really believe it will still be like this? Mateo doesn’t love forever, Mia. I think Meg’s already wearing out on this arrangement of yours, and she’s the one giving him a male heir. What if she doesn’t want you around anymore?”
Mia shakes her head, like she regrets having to answer that. “I’m his favorite. If it really came down to a choice, he would pick me. But it isn’t going to, because I don’t know what he would do with her if he didn’t want her anymore, and I would never want anything to happen to Meg.”
I raise my eyebrows. “See, you literally know he might kill a woman he’s tired of. What the fuck, Mia? How can you know that and…?” I stop myself, because I’m starting to get preachy. “Why can’t you just let this be the conclusion of your adventure with him? You harnessed Mateo Morelli for four years—good job. Now the ride’s over and it’s time to get back to real life, to something more stable and less dangerous.”