He doesn’t look surprised. I am. I didn’t mean to actually touch him. I’m dimly aware that it’s super inappropriate, but god, I’m so drunk.
“Spread your legs, little one.”
My legs drift open and he moves between them. A gasp slips out of me as he presses himself between my legs. I think I should object, but I don’t open my mouth. I don’t say anything. I’m a little overwhelmed and a lot drunk. My mind assures me everything is fine. Rafe is nice enough. He said he might help me, and he reminds me of Mateo. He’s my only possible ally in this godforsaken place.
He grabs me around the waist with one hand, pulling me away from the wall. I lock my legs around him to keep myself up. I don’t need to, he’s doing that with his arm around my waist, but my legs just do it naturally, pulling him closer.
Holding me against his body, he holds my gaze and pushes his other hand down between our bodies and pushes two fingers inside me.
“Fuck,” I mutter, curling into his shoulder.
His deep voice is calm and steady. “You’re unhappy here, aren’t you?”
“So unhappy.”
“Tell me why.”
His fingers plunge inside of me and pleasure swirls through me. I don’t want him to talk, I just want to close my eyes and feel him. “I’m so afraid,” I murmur against his shoulder.
“Of me?”
“No.” His fingers finish exploring deep and now he pays attention to my clit, rubbing and toying with me, sending spikes of pleasure through my body.
“Of Vince?”
“Of everything,” I murmur. “I’m afraid I’ll never get back home. I’m afraid… I’m afraid of everything. I just want to go home. I want to curl up in my bed with Mateo. And I’m afraid if I do get there, he won’t want me anymore. I’m so afraid it’ll be like before.” Just thinking about Mateo not wanting me brings the sting of tears behind my eyes.
“Mateo didn’t want you before?” he asks, almost patiently as he continues to finger me.
“No, Vince didn’t. When Mateo took me and—” I gasp, throwing my head back. “And Vince couldn’t forgive me. I’m afraid now Mateo won’t forgive me.”
“Forgive you for what?”
I want to answer him. He’s asking me a question and I don’t want to displease him, but I can’t. His fingers have obliterated the part of my brain that makes words. I’m all sensation right now, and as he walks me back against the wall of the cave, still rubbing my clit, still pleasuring me, I can’t think. If he took his finger out of me and shoved his cock inside me, I’d be completely helpless to object.
“Rafe.” I gasp, my hand clutching at his muscular back.
“Come for me, little one.”
And I do. I fucking do. I come hard, I cry out, and I think more to shut me up than anything, he covers my mouth with his, but I take it as a kiss, and I cling to him, kissing him back.
I’m weak when I come down from the orgasm.
Horror falls over me like an inescapable blanket, stealing the air from my lungs. Suddenly my brain turns back on, the effects of the alcohol dimming as the horrifying realization settles on me that I just let someone who isn’t Mateo touch me.
“Oh, fuck,” I murmur, hiding my face in my hands. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“It’s okay,” he says, reaching up and grabbing my margarita glass, then handing it back to me.
“Oh, my god. Oh, my god.”
“Relax,” he says, like it’s nothing. Like it doesn’t matter.
I want to cry.
This is so much worse than what Vince has been doing to me—I wanted this. He touched me, my body responded, and I wanted him to touch me.
“I’m… I’m… Oh, my god.”
“You’re drunk,” Rafe states, still cool and collected, since he didn’t just cheat on Mateo Morelli. “Drunk girls don’t make good decisions. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“Fuck,” I say, more savagely, swimming away from him toward the mouth of the cave.
“Wait,” he says, lurching forward and grabbing my arm, tugging me back.
I feel like I’m going to have an anxiety attack. I need to get out of here. I need to get away from him and go to my bedroom and curl up and die in shame.
“I have to go,” I tell him, tying to pull my arm away.
“This stays between us.”
“Trust me, I never want anyone to know that just happened,” I say, jerking my arm away from him and swimming to the ladder so I can climb out.
Vince glances my way as I hurry across the walk. I don’t pause; I head straight inside so I can go upstairs.
I have to get the fuck out of here. I have to get back to Mateo. I have to tell Mateo what I just allowed to happen. I have to repent and beg for him to forgive me.