Coming Home (Morelli Family 6)

“She wants to say hi,” Rafe says into the phone. After a pause, he holds the phone out to me.

My hands are so unsteady I nearly drop it, but I manage to get it to my ear. “Mateo?”

Audibly sighing with relief, he says, “Mia.”

I burst into tears. The sound of his voice always seeps into my soul, marking me as his, but right now it’s everything. I’ve never been so terrified and so happy at the same time. I need to be back in his arms. “I’ve missed you so much,” I blubber.

He laughs a little and my empty heart fills up. I hate every single inch of land keeping me from his arms right now. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. I’ve been out of my goddamn mind. I didn’t even know if you were alive.”

“When I get home, I’m never leaving your side again. Not ever. Even if you want me to, I won’t do it,” I warn him.

“Trust me, I don’t want you to.”

“I love you so much. I miss you so much. I’m so sorry I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. It doesn’t matter now. Put Rafe back on. I want to make arrangements and get you back here as soon as possible.”

I hand the phone back to Rafe, still crying. I scrub at my face with the heels of my hands, trying to calm myself. Shuddering breaths continue to make their way out of me, but I tell myself the nightmare is over. It’s over, and it’s never going to happen again.

—

Rafe takes me home.

He doesn’t want to fly since he can’t board a plane while armed, but Mateo must adequately convince him there’s no danger, because he takes me to the airport.

Well, after the store. He had a hunch Mateo wouldn’t appreciate finding me in a bikini, so he stopped and grabbed me a dress. Then he told me it was too bad I wasn’t staying one more night. I’ve been here all this time and haven’t seen a damn thing.

But I don’t care. The only thing I want to see is the sight of Mateo’s face, still happy to see me. I need to unload on him. I need to know nothing between us is broken. Because I don’t know what I’ll do if it is. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose everything that matters to me.

I can’t even consider it. My brain can’t go there. I can’t handle it.

I still feel worn out when we land in Chicago. All the insecurities are there, old fears, memories of how Vince handled things. I can do better this time, though. I can do better for Mateo. Whatever he needs, I can do. This isn’t like with Vince, when I didn’t actually want to stay away from Mateo, and I wasn’t willing to do anything to fix things. I would walk through hell to get back to Mateo, and I’ll live there if I have to, to make him love me again.

Well, he hasn’t stopped loving me yet, but he doesn’t know there’s a reason to.

I glance over at Rafe walking through the terminal with me, recalling him telling me the stupid, drunken encounter in the grotto stayed between us. I remember Mateo telling me a long time ago just to lie to Vince. But Mateo isn’t Vince, and he needs to be able to trust me. That means telling him when I screw up. That means telling him when I pull a fucking Beth.

I’m feeling like pond scum again, but then I see Adrian and Mateo. Then I can’t see anything because tears blur my vision as I run to him.

Mateo wraps me in his strong arms like he does, blocking out everything but him, and I don’t care that he’s squeezing me so tightly I can barely breathe. I don’t need to breathe. All I need is him.

I don’t try to speak yet. It would just be a mess of love declarations, apologies and “I miss you,” so I just hold him and cry. I’m completely overwhelmed, drowning in a sea of feelings. I want to turn back the clock and not go to the bakery Saturday. I want to stay at home, where I’m safe and loved and Mateo won’t let me get away long enough to fuck everything up.

Chills move over my body as he murmurs simply, “Let’s go home.”

I let him tuck me into his side. He finally turns to greet and thank his cousin. I watch them shake hands and suddenly Rafe doesn’t look like he did before, he doesn’t remind me of Mateo, because I have Mateo. Now he’s just a threat and I want him to leave.

Mateo is more courteous though. I can’t be. I’ve run the spectrum of emotions and all I can do now is curl up in the seat beside Mateo. He keeps one arm secured around my back to keep me close, the other absently caressing the arm I have wrapped around his torso. Normally Mateo recharges me, but as I watch him talk to Rafe, the weight of what he doesn’t know crushes me. I don’t even know how it happened. I don’t know how I can possibly explain it to him. I would never betray him. I hate anyone who has. I hate myself for allowing this to happen. I feel like an emotional wreck, and he still looks so put-together. While he looks tired, he’s still capable of functioning and interacting. Maybe I just need to sleep. Or to get past the alcohol fog. Alcohol fog probably doesn’t help.