I watch her, feeling uneasy, since this has to be the guy. This has to be the motherfucker who broke her heart.
“Eventually he asked me out. I remember it was the strangest courtship. He worked so tirelessly to get my attention, and then once he had it… it was like he stopped caring. It was the damndest thing, like there was a switch he could turn on and off, like my family. It made me a little uncomfortable, but I started thinking maybe all guys were like that. Maybe they were just different from girls. Anyway, I didn’t question it. I fell head over in heels in love with him. He didn’t even have to work for it, that’s the most embarrassing thing, looking back. I did all the work for him before I even met him. I was so lonely, so desperate for love and importance; I took it as soon as someone offered it, even if it didn’t make sense.”
More than anything, I want to comfort her. I want to pull her into my arms, I want to kiss her. I want to absorb all of her pain into myself so she doesn’t have to feel it ever again.
“He was an awful boyfriend. Once he had me, he knew I wasn’t going anywhere. He was brutal and uncaring, he was cold and he would go through the motions sometimes, say words I needed to hear, but there was nothing behind them. It didn’t matter. I gave him my virginity and my heart; I let him have every hope and dream. He was the only man I’d ever met brave enough to face my family. In fact, he liked being around my family. At a certain point I started to realize he liked spending time with them far more than he liked spending time with me. Sometimes he would come over to see me, and not see me at all. I would wait for him, I would get dressed and ready to see him and I would just wait, and he would never show up, and I thought he stood me up, and then I’d find him in with my brother.”
I’m frowning now. I have a hunch where this might be going, and I don’t like it.
Glancing at me, she says, “Mateo had taken over by this point. My father got sick and Mateo was the second guy in command, so he was the guy who had to approve any…” She takes a breath and blows it out. “But he’s not an easy guy to get an audience with, either. He keeps his circle small. When he has reliable people, he pays them well and keeps them out of trouble. He doesn’t have to shop around for new talent all that often.”
“I know this,” I murmur, since at least that I can comment on.
She glances over at me, then fixes her attention back on the wall in front of her. “So, once he got close to my brother, he pitched him. Wanted to work for him. I hated the idea. That was the last thing I wanted. He was supposed to be the normal guy who took me away from my life, who saved me from having to spend the rest of my life as a Morelli, and here he was trying to work for my brother? Not to mention it’s dangerous. Not to mention the job he was after, what he’d have to do. It made me physically ill. I didn’t want to believe he was even capable of it.”
“What job?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she says, shaking her head. “Anyway, you can probably tell where this is heading. I was an idiot, so I couldn’t. He never had any interest in me, he just saw me as a way to get close to my brother. Once Mateo hired him, he dropped me like a bad habit. He didn’t even break up with me, he just disappeared. He came by one night for drinks with the guys and I happened to see him, and I was so upset I actually confronted him, and it was… it was humiliating. He was so mean. And he knew how stupid I was. How easy I was. He told me how easy I was.” She shakes her head, blinking a few times too many. “I thought he’d be the person who showed me I was worth something to someone after all, and it turned out he was the person who verified just how worthless I was.”
I feel like I’m literally on fucking fire with anger. There’s so much heat beneath my skin, I need a cold shower. “Well, I hope that motherfucker learned his lesson. What did Mateo do when he found out?”
Her lips lift in a mockery of a smile. “Promoted him.”
“What?”
Shrugging, she grabs her wine glass and takes another sip. “He liked his ruthlessness.”