Another

I took a deep breath, letting my frustration bubble up. If I could admit my feelings anywhere, it was with these women who helped raise me. “Yes,” I confessed, and once I started, it all boiled out. “We bicker all the time, but it’s like a weird version of foreplay. He provokes me because he likes my bossiness. And he’s so caring and, oh my god, he’s so hot,” I groaned, my hands fisting on the table. “And the further I get from this pregnancy, the more I remember how amazing it was between us, and I swear to god it’s all I can think about some nights.”

Silence met the end of my verbal vomit, and I hesitantly lifted my eyes to find some smirks and smiles.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Vivian gloated.

My shoulders dropped in defeat. Saying it out loud didn’t make it any better than when it was floating around in my head.

“You need to talk to him,” the always sensible Virginia said.

They all nodded, and I wanted to take back the last five minutes so I could keep avoiding the talk Ian and I were barreling toward.

Audrey took that moment to make her presence known from the car seat propped on a highchair, and there was no build-up. She was pissed and wasn’t giving any warning about it. I lifted her out and tried to bounce her. I checked her pants, and nothing was there. We tried to eat, and she wasn’t having it.

“I’m sorry, guys. I think I should take her home.”

They all agreed, and we decided to meet up again soon. After hugs and kisses—done at super speed because Audrey was still wailing—we left. I’d just started the car when the most horrendous sound from the tiniest human came from the back. The silver lining was that she stopped crying, but the drive was long and smelly.

“Your daddy is right; you are the smelliest baby in the world.”

I almost dropped Audrey’s car seat when I opened my apartment door, and Ian came around the corner from the kitchen. I’d given him a key a while ago since he pretty much stayed here every night, but it was still early in the day. I assumed he was at work.

“Where were you?”

His accusing tone had me pulling up short and slowly setting the car seat down. I took in his tense shoulders, hands on hips, and clenched jaw.

“At lunch,” I answered slowly, still unsure of his mood and what caused it.

“With who?” he barked.

His third-degree questions and irritation had my tone shifting from cautious to bitchy. “Not that it’s any of your business, but my aunts.”

It was as if my answer poked a hole in his balloon of anger. His shoulders sagged, and one hand ran across his face as he blew out a hard sigh. He looked across the space as I got Audrey from her seat, and I saw the apology before he even opened his lips.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I just got home, and you weren’t here, and I basically reacted like a teenage girl, working myself up. I realized you could be out doing anything, and I have no right to know otherwise, and it killed me. And then I started thinking about what you could be out doing and I just…kind of lost it in my own head. I overreacted. I just…” He stopped, and his face screwed up. “My god, is that her?” he asked, pointing an accusing finger at the tiny baby smiling in my arms.

“Yup. Our little angel.”

Ian made gagging noises as I passed, heading to her room to get rid of the offending diaper.

I scrambled to understand Ian’s reaction when I’d walked in. He thought I was out with someone else? A guy? Was he jealous? The thought of Ian being jealous of me with someone else sparked a light in me that I wasn’t sure I wanted to look too closely at. But it felt a lot like happiness.

When I came back out to the living room, Ian still had a guarded look, and I realized the conversation I’d been avoiding was about to happen. I swallowed down the nerves and tried to stand tall—look more confident than I felt—and waited for him to start.

“Listen, I get that we aren’t officially together, but I think it’s best that we don’t bring anyone else into this.”

My muscles pulled tight, his suggestion wrapping around my chest and squeezing. I knew it wasn’t rational—this anger that flooded my veins. Maybe it was because I felt attacked as soon as I walked through the door. Maybe it was already frazzled nerves at having this conversation at all.

But, really, I knew it was because of that spark of happiness I’d felt at his jealousy. I knew it was another way to open myself up for hurt—and that terrified me. I wanted to believe it’d only be Audrey and me but hoping for that left an opportunity for him to let me down if he didn’t follow through—if he lied.