By the time the ringing had cleared from my ears, I felt her lips against my hair, the side of my face, anywhere she could reach. Releasing her hands, I slowly dragged my fingers down her arms, loving the way she trembled under my touch. Coming up for air after one last kiss to her neck, I looked down at her. She was glistening with sweat, her hair a dark, wild mass against the white pillows, her lips swollen and rosy.
She was perfect.
And when she smiled, my chest ached. My heart thundered so hard the rush of blood made me lightheaded, and I knew—right then, I knew—I loved this woman.
Swallowing the words down, I kissed her.
My mind was already conjuring plans on how to keep her under me, how to keep her from running like she did every other time we fooled around. If I told her I loved her, she might run from me further than just inside herself, and I couldn’t risk that.
Her lips moved under mine, and I tangled my tongue with hers until I could safely pull away without releasing my truth.
I took care of the condom, and when I came back to pull her into my arms, I could already see her hesitation in the way she wouldn’t meet my eyes. But she also didn’t pull away. She curled into my arms and rested her head on my bicep.
I had to take my wins where I could.
“Carina, I can’t let you keep hiding from this.”
“I know.”
Needing to see her face, I buried my hand in her hair and tugged until she looked up at me. “I…” I hesitated, thinking over my words to not scare her. “I care for you. And not just as the mother of our child. I care for you so much, and if you give us a chance, I could make you happy.”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
The worry in her eyes killed me. I wanted her to be as confident as me that we could make this family work—that she could trust me. But I knew trust didn’t come easy for Carina, so I’d just have to prove it to her, no matter how long it took. Right now, though, she needed reassurance that this wasn’t going to implode on us. She needed to feel safe—like she had an exit plan.
“Then the same rules apply as when we moved in together. I will help you move out. We will make it amicable because we need to always be friends for Audrey. So, let’s give us a try and promise to end it before it gets bad.”
“Okay,” she whispered, the simple word filling every inch of my body to exploding.
Her smile matched mine and I couldn’t see how this could go wrong when this moment felt epic—life-changing—unbreakable.
I kissed her hard before pulling away, needing to change the subject before my feelings came pouring out, making a mess.
One step at a time.
“I’m thinking the next time I’m inside you, I’ll fuck you from behind.”
“Okay,” she agreed, another small smile tipping her swollen lips.
“I could get used to an agreeable Carina.”
23 Carina
“I should get going,” I said, popping the lid back on my empty salad container.
“Already?” Ian almost whined. “You just got here.”
“Thirty minutes ago.”
“I know, but since you went back to work, I never see you.”
“Dramatic much?” I asked, laughing. I knew he was overreacting to make me laugh. He always tried to make me laugh.
“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you.”
“It’s not like you ever have before.”
“Nope,” he said with pride.
“You’re a needy boyfriend.”
Ian shivered in his office chair, his eyes sliding closed. “You know what that word does to me, dirty girl.”
His eyes slid open, a devious smirk slowly tipping his lips.
“Oh, my god,” I said laughing, throwing my napkin at him. “You’re incorrigible.”
He caught the napkin and threw it in his trashcan, a victorious smile stretching across his beautiful face. He hadn’t shaved in the past few days, and the stubble had me squeezing my thighs together, remembering what it felt like on my skin this morning when I woke with his head between my legs.
Shaking off the feeling, I stood. “But really, I have to go. I have a meeting, and then I have to get Audrey from Aunt Virginia.”
“Where’s your meeting at?”
“Voyeur.”
“Voyeur?”
“It’s kind of like a sex club that isn’t a sex club. More like a porn club.”
“A sex club?” he asked, shooting up in his seat. “I don’t think so, missy. Unless you’re meeting nuns, then nope.”
I crossed my arms and stood over him, giving him my best I-will-crush-your-sorry-man-ass glare. I knew he wasn’t serious about controlling my work, because he knew if he tried, I’d storm out and never look back. But he did care, and that little jealousy had warmth blooming in my chest.
“At least tell me the owner is old and decrepit.”