When I came out of the guest room where I assumed Carina would be sleeping for a while, the bags of food were on the table, but Carina was nowhere to be found.
“Carina?”
I checked the kitchen, but it was empty. I finally found her laid out on our bed, asleep on top of the covers with her shoes still on. I could’ve stared at her forever, remembering the fear I had a few days ago that I’d never see her in our bed again.
Moving quietly, I slipped her shoes off and grabbed a blanket from the closet, pulling it over her. Then I climbed in beside her.
I must have dozed because it was dark by the time I woke and Carina was fully tucked into my chest, the hot puffs of her breath hitting my neck. Unable to help myself, I brushed my fingers through her hair and shifted back enough to press a kiss to her forehead.
“Ian?” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.
“Shh. It’s just me. Go ahead and sleep.”
“Is Audrey awake?”
“No, she’s still out.”
“Did you eat?”
“Not yet, baby. I wanted to wait for you.”
Her body stiffened before slowly easing back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep in your bed.”
Your bed.
The clarification that she didn’t see this as her bed anymore popped my bubble of illusion that we could move on so easily.
She eased out of bed and finger-combed her hair, avoiding my gaze. Finally looking back over her shoulder, she gave a forced smile. “Let’s go ahead and eat while we can.”
“K. I’ll go get it set up.”
“I’m going to grab a quick shower and meet you out there.”
I had the food reheated by the time she strolled out in an old T-shirt and black leggings; her face completely clean of make-up. She was stunning.
I was grabbing plates, almost dropping them, when heat pressed to my back before her arms wrapped around my waist.
“Thank you, Ian. Thank you for being there when I needed you.”
I only hesitated a moment before turning in her arms, needing to see her face. “I’ll always be there. Even if you don’t want me to be, I will always be waiting to be what you need.”
Her blue eyes shined with tears that didn’t fall, her lips rolling between her teeth, but she didn’t pull away.
“Carina, I’m so sorry.”
She did step back then, dropping her eyes to the floor. “I know.”
“No, you don’t.” I stepped into her personal space, lifting her chin so she could see how serious I was. “You think I’m sorry it happened, but you’re wrong. I’m sorry for how much I hurt you. I’m sorry that it was all my fault for not making your concerns more important than my comfort. I’m sorry I questioned your reasoning because I should always stand by your side.”
When one tear slid free, I cradled her face in my palms and wiped it away with my thumbs.
“Mostly, Carina, I’m sorry I made you feel like another person was more important than you. Because I love you. I love you more than I thought possible and I’m terrified I broke any chance of you loving me back when I didn’t give you one-hundred-percent of my trust. I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know.”
“Ian,” she breathed, her voice shaky.
“You don’t have to say anything back, just please say that you won’t leave.”
“I won’t leave.”
Three simple words that had my body on the verge of floating away. “Thank you, baby.”
I leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled back, and I froze.
“I’m not leaving, but we still need time to work through this. I just need that time with you by my side.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
“Thank you for understanding, Ian.”
“Anything for you.”
With a small smile, she stepped back, but I had one more thing to say.
“I talked to Hanna. I know it’s too little, too late, but I did talk to her to clear the air. Being completely honest with you, I can’t cut her out of my life. She means too much to me, and I mean that in the most familial way possible, but you and Audrey are my world, and for that, I can compromise. Just tell me what to do.”
She swallowed hard, and I held my breath, waiting for her to tell me it wasn’t enough.
“Just be honest with me and don’t let her flirt with you.”
My first reaction was to deny that Hanna ever flirted, but I think about it from Carina’s point of view and understand. “I can do that.”
“Okay. Then, let’s have some dinner.”
Carina
That night, I decided to sleep in the guest bedroom. I’d had to force myself to stay under the covers and not tiptoe across the hallway and slip into Ian’s bed, demanding he tell me he loves me again and again.
Ian Bergamo loved me.