He sighed. “I knew since you were little you didn’t belong here. But you’re still my daughter. And I’ll be damned if I let anyone threaten your life.”
Thunderstruck, my mouth might have gaped a little and not so much at what he said, though that had been a surprise. More so by the curse word that had slipped from his tongue.
His hand came up to stroke his beard. Seeing that action too many times not to understand, I knew he was choosing his words. “Your mother was from the world out there, yet she thankfully chose to live the rest of her life in mine. When Violet was born, she was the spitting image of your mother. When you came, you had a tuff of red hair that was closer to a pale gold than the fiery locks you have now. That comes from my father’s side of things. As toddlers, you both were so adventurous, I knew then I wouldn’t be able to hold you back. The truth of it is, you got that from me.”
I looked into my father’s eyes, the man I feared, and began to see a different side of him. This was the most he’d said to me that wasn’t about work that needed to be done since his speech about the birds and the bees.
His next declarative statement would be replayed in my mind over and over again. “When you decide to leave us again, you need to take Violet with you.”
“Dad,” I said, seeing how hard it was for him to admit this to me.
“Like you, she’s meant to live a different life. I see it in her eyes. I always have.”
“But she’s married and seems happy,” I admitted.
“She would be fine if she remained, but there is so much for her out there.” He was quiet for a second. “She loves to bake. I bet she can find work or go to school for baking. We have some money saved to pay.”
“Do you think she’d want to go?”
“I think she’d be afraid to go alone, but with you, she’d likely take the risk.”
I didn’t ask about her husband. My father was on a roll and I let him continue without interruption.
“Make peace with your sister Mary. Judge her not. She’s envious that you have the spirit to leave and she doesn’t. A part of her wishes she could go, but she also knows she’d never be happy anywhere else. And that’s not true for you. Violet might have survived if Turner had given her his affection.”
I went slack-jawed.
“You don’t think we parents know what’s going on? You don’t think I know about the car you drove into town when you left the compound the other night, or that you’re staying at Violet’s and Turner’s stayed with you despite the fact that I asked you to leave the boy alone?”
He exhaled as if his next words cost him. “I knew you and Turner would marry someday back when you were barely knee-high. He’s a good kid and would do well by Margaret if he showed her any of the attention he shows you. I’d forgotten how smitten the boy could be until you returned. As much as it pains me to admit, he’s like Violet in that he could stay or go. But he’d only stay with you. If you leave him for this Jeremy, he’ll go and never look back.”
That struck me. I’d always assumed he’d want to be here more than he’d want to go.
“What am I going to do?” I asked. Never in my whole life did I need his insight like I did right then.
“I can’t answer that. I’ve never loved another woman but your mother. I will say that you and Turner remind me a lot of us. I haven’t seen you with Jeremy. I do, however, see a fierceness in his eyes that rings true for all he told me.”
“What did he say?”
He patted my shoulder and released me. “Some things must remain between men. I’ll say that should you not choose Turner, I would give Jeremy my blessing to court you.”
Shut the front door.
His head tilted to the sky. “It’s going to rain and maybe snow if the temperature doesn’t hold.” He looked to the heavens again. “I need to get to a meeting.”
“Thanks,” I said, still astonished at our conversation.
“Don’t thank me. Thank your mother. She wisely counseled me not to let you leave thinking that I didn’t love you, lest I lose not only a daughter but a wife. Truth is, I do love you, Daughter.”
And with that pronouncement, he walked off in his leisurely but steady gait.
I was still stunned. All these years, I thought my mother was meek. Yet, my father, who was not a weak man, all but admitted that she held sway over him. If I heard him correctly, she had power in their relationship. Then again, hadn’t she talked him into letting me go to college, or had she? Whatever the answers, it seemed as though she wasn’t the silent partner in their marriage I’d assumed her to be, and he listened.