Teach Me Daddy

I got out of the way of the television, and Camillo’s eyes followed me. He kept his gaze on me for as long as he could before the boys started talking to him about the game. I saw him get lost in it all, in the way Ana clung to him and the way the boys wanted to bond with him. I stood in the doorway as Cassie approached me. Then she tugged my arm and brought me into the kitchen.

“What?” I asked.

“Do you see it?”

“See what?” I asked.

“How Kevin’s just gravitated to him?” she asked.

“Yes, I have. Kevin’s been without a strong male influence for a very long time. And during a critical time of his life, as well.”

“So, you’ve been thinking about it,” she said.

“About what?” I asked.

“Stop being so thick. About Camillo sticking around. He was over here last night, and he’s here again tonight. If he keeps coming around, Kevin’s gonna think he’s staying. Ana, too.”

“And what if he does?” I asked.

“I just wanna make sure your head’s still in this. He swept you off your feet three years ago, remember? But now you’re a mother. A caretaker. You can’t allow yourself to do that again.”

“Why not?” I asked. “Why couldn’t I have all of it? The family and the bonding and the romance?”

“Do you really think three years ago was romance?” she asked.

“It was to me and that’s all that matters,” I said.

I folded my arms over my chest before I turned my gaze back out to the boys. Kevin had handed Junior a separate controller and the two of them were building an entire farm. Camillo was chiming in with materials they should use and telling them stories of the types of materials he’d used to build his own things and I got lost in the perfection of it all.

But Cassie’s voice pulled me from all of it and I sighed.

“You look nice,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“I haven’t seen you wear that dress in years,” she said.

“Never had a reason to wear it.”

“But you do now?”

“Yes, I do now.”

“What’s that reason?” she asked.

“Cassie, could you back off?” I asked.

“Think this through. Why did you come in and get dressed up?”

“Because I wanted to impress Camillo, okay? I was in my fucking uniform all night last night. So, sue me for wanting to feel pretty again.”

I saw the worry behind her eyes and I sighed before I enveloped her in a hug.

“I know you’re worried about us and I know you’re just looking out for us. But trust me, okay? I wouldn’t ever bring someone around my own daughter and my brother if I didn’t think they would be good for them.”

“But what about what’s good for you?” Cassie asked. “It’s about time you started doing something for you.”

“And I am ,” I said as I held out my arms. “Look at me. I’m in a dress for the first time in years, and I’m loving it.”

“You are?” she asked.

“Yes, you idiot, what the hell’s wrong with you?” I asked, giggling. “I couldn’t even look at another man after that night three years ago. You think it was because he hurt me, but it was really because he opened my eyes up to this world. This… this lifestyle of unimaginable beauty and pleasure and grace. No man compared, Cassie. None of them. And just look at Camillo. Look at how good he is with those boys.”

I stepped aside and allowed Cassie a glimpse into what I was already becoming addicted to.

“He is good with them,” she said, murmuring.

“He’d be perfect for this role. This strong male influence that Kevin hasn’t had in so long. And Ana? She deserves her father.”

“I just don’t want you getting your hopes up,” she said. “He just strode in out of nowhere. How do you know he’s not gonna just walk back out?”

“There are a lot of unknowns, yes. But you let me deal with those, all right?”

“Whatever you say, crazy town.”

“You haven’t called me that in months,” I said as I stepped over to the fridge.

“Because you haven’t done anything that warranted it until now.”

I pulled out the lasagna I pieced together this morning and threw it into the preheated oven. I pulled out a long loaf of bread I’d gotten at the store and split it in half, coating it in butter and fresh garlic before I wrapped it in tin foil. Just as the cheese started to bubble on top of the lasagna, I threw the garlic bread into the oven. Then Cassie and I began setting the table.

The boys trickled in soon after, with their noses tuned in to the smells wafting around our small little kitchen.

“It smells good in here,” Junior said.

“I hope you like lasagna,” I said. “I put it together this morning before work.”

“Do you have the garlic bread, too?” Kevin asked.