I discreetly dug into my pocket and pulled out my keys. I inserted the biggest one between my knuckles, prepared to stab him in the eye if he made a move. I held my phone in my other hand, gripping it tightly by the base, ready to be used as a weapon.
He sped up and came closer to me, close enough to touch me.
I spun around with both of my weapons up and ready. “Get the fuck away from me.” I stepped back when I recognized his face, my hands slowly lowering.
Crewe.
In a thick winter coat and dark jeans, he wore dark colors to make him blend in with the night. His face was cleanly shaven, and his eyes held his surprise at my violent reaction. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Then why did you follow me like a stalker?”
He stepped back and put his hands in his pockets. “I appreciate the way you protected yourself.”
“Thanks…I guess.” I put my phone and keys back in my pocket, but my heart was still beating so fast from the adrenaline. The fact that my stalker was Crewe terrified me in a completely different way. I didn’t have time to think about what any of this meant. He was standing right in front of me, looking at me with those brown eyes I used to find solace in. “Why are you here?” When I said goodbye to him in Scotland, I meant it. I moved on.
He stared at me in silence, his usual response to all my questions.
“What the hell do you want, Crewe? I spent the last month in Scotland waiting for you. If there was something you wanted to say to me, you had your chance to say it. But now you don’t.” I turned around and walked up the street again, wanting to get away from the man who played with my heart like a toy.
“London.” He followed behind me, his voice close against my ear.
“Good night, Crewe.”
He grabbed me by the elbow and yanked me against the brick wall of the insurance building we’d just passed. His body crowded mine until I was flat against the wall, my back feeling the coldness from the bricks.
His brown eyes looked menacing in the dark like this, in the middle of a questionable neighborhood long after midnight. His arms pinned mine against the wall, as if he suspected I might hit him. He pressed his face close to mine, his warm breath falling over my cold skin. “I’m here now, so you’re going to have to deal with it.”
I tried to shove him, but he was too heavy. “That’s not how this works. I stayed there for a month and tried to work this out. I don’t want to be a prisoner again, so I’m starting over here. I started seeing someone, and I like him. You missed your chance.”
That was the wrong thing to say because his expression turned maniacal. “Who?”
“What does it matter? How’s Sasha, by the way?” I didn’t have a clue if that was the woman he was bedding, but I didn’t know any of their other names.
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t answer. “Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here. I’m still fucking pissed, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t sleep. I can’t get over you. Everything is just so…bleak. I don’t know what to do.”
“You came all the way here to tell me that?” I asked incredulously. “You could have just called.”
“I didn’t call for the same reason you didn’t call. I wanted to see you. Every time you tried to talk to me, I pushed you away. You’ll never understand how much you killed me inside. When I had a bullet stuck in my chest and I was bleeding everywhere…it didn’t hurt nearly as much as what you did.”
My anger died away when I heard the sincerity of his words. I already knew I’d hurt him because I saw his expression that night, the way he looked utterly hopeless. He didn’t even have the motivation to save his own life. That was how much I killed his spirit.
“When I sold you to Bones, he brought this collar…”
My eyes concentrated on his face as I listened to every word.
“He wanted to hook it around your neck for the entire trip back to Italy. When I saw it…I couldn’t do it. I didn’t keep you because I had a better idea of how to use you. I kept you because I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t condemn you to a life of misery when you didn’t deserve it.” He lowered his face, breaking eye contact with me. “I never put that micro pulse inside your brother’s head, I just made you think I did. Because I could never hurt you like that. I would never hurt someone you love. And I don’t know when these feelings began to develop…but I knew they started long before you felt them for me.”