Big Daddy

“It’s professional. It’s nothing more than me tutoring his niece. I did have a wonderful time, and he bought pizza, and then I left.”

Liza looked at me sideways. “Sounds like a nice little evening.”

“He’s a nice guy. He took in that little girl after his brother died, and her mother was unstable. He walked me to my car and even shut the door. He’s almost too good to be true, and too good to be interested in me.” I didn’t want to say anything to her about the way he’d looked at me, or the electricity I’d felt when our hands had touched. I was most likely imagining it anyway. No man that looked like him and could have any woman he wanted, would want more than a quick fuck from damaged goods like me.

“Please, he’s a man. You’re a gorgeous girl. One plus one equals two and sometimes three, so use protection. I mean, I’m sure he’s a good guy when it comes to his niece and taking in this little girl, but he has needs like any other man.” She had a point, but I was only using that as an excuse to make him off limits in my mind. It wasn’t working.

“I just need to get right after what I’ve been through, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to drag him and Star into my drama.”

“I hear you. My ex, Chet is giving me problems. I told him I rented you the room, and now he asked me for a loan. Like I have a bunch of extra cash now. I swear, when one vein runs dry, that leech taps another.”

“Are you going to give him any money?

“Hell no, not one red cent, but it never stops him from asking me. He’s the one who’s three grand behind on his child support, but do I complain? Count your blessing that you don’t have a child with that monster.” She shook her head.

I placed my hand on my stomach and silently begged for forgiveness. I’d carried the guilt of losing my baby for four years, and I’d often thought if I hadn’t lost it, maybe Nick would have been a better husband and father. I knew deep down though, that no child would have changed who Nick was, and though it sounded horrible to say, it was better that our baby hadn’t survived to face Nick’s ugliness.

“Are you okay?” Liza turned pale, looking like she could read my mind. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry, Dream.”

“It’s okay. It was years ago, and I didn’t even know I was expecting until it was too late. He pushed me down the stairs; said it was an accident.”

“Geez, girl. It’s a wonder he didn’t kill you.”

“Not for lack of trying,” I said and shook my head.

The bell on the door chimed as the first of our daily customers strolled in. It wasn’t Chance, and I felt a surge of disappointment. I really needed to get ahold of myself. I couldn’t afford to let myself get caught up in a man who might not even want anything more than sex from me, if that.

I thought for a moment what it would be like to have a man who treated me like I were special, like there wasn’t anything in the world he wouldn’t do for me, or give to me. To be his only love, and to be cherished.

But, that was the kind of love that existed in fairy tales, and it wasn’t reserved for people like me.

The day would drag on, and I wouldn’t see any sign of Chance. I tried not to be disappointed and drove to the library to find the books.

I unfolded the big piece of paper and read the purple crayon words, double-checking that all of them would be available. Thankfully, they all were. I gathered the first three on the list so I’d have plenty to work with her on, and then approached the desk.

After applying for a card, and answering thirty questions from the librarian, who clearly didn’t give a care about the silent rule and was more interested in who I was and where I came from, I checked out the books.

I hurried out to Liza’s car, which she let me borrow, and tossed the books into the seat beside me. I’d read one to Brady tonight, and then tomorrow, I’d let Star take her pick.

It was nice being around Star and Brady, and I was grateful I had the chance to nurture children again, even if they weren’t my own.

CHAPTER 7 – CHANCE

I couldn’t believe how long it was since I’d seen her, and how hard it had been not to go down to the diner just to say hello. I didn’t want to seem desperate or fuel any more of the filthy thoughts I was having about her. The last time she was over, I’d had to jerk off in a cold shower just to be relieve the ache in my balls.