Saving Mel

“Better than I have in a long time.”

Her eyes lingered on me before she started brewing a pot of coffee. I plated up Liam some eggs before I started making toast, and soon we were all sitting at the table and partaking in breakfast. Hadley was covered in banana mush, Liam had eggs all over his face, and, the entire time, they were focused on Melanie. Liam was asking her questions and Hadley kept trying to get her attention, and the budding look of happiness on her face was mesmerizing.

She really looked like she enjoyed spending time like this with the kids.

“Uh oh,” Melanie said. “I smell something in the air.”

“Not me,” Liam said, pouting.

“Hadley?” Melanie asked.

The little girl had this crazy look on her face before a loud sound came from her high chair. Liam crinkled his nose and Melanie threw her head back to laugh, the sound filling the room. Hadley’s face was priceless as she grunted and groaned, and soon Melanie was scooping the little girl into her arms and walking her down the hallway.

“Sounds like someone needs a very big diaper change. Yes, ma’am. Yes, you do.”

The way she cooed at Hadley made me smile as I started to clear the breakfast table. I wiped down Liam before he took off down the hallway and wrapped his arms around Melanie’s legs. I watched her as the kids clung to her, the smile on her face large and shining while her eyes sparkled with genuine happiness.

“I think we need to get you in some new clothes, handsome,” Melanie said.

“Can I wear a sweater like you?” Liam asked.

“You can wear whatever you want. Why don’t you go pick out your outfit for the day?” she asked.

It was amazing how wonderful she was with the kids. She was flawless when it came to taking care of Hadley and Liam. She would obviously be a wonderful mother to her own someday, and as Liam scurried off into his room to pick out his outfit she looked up at me and smiled.

“You could’ve left those dishes. I would’ve gotten them,” she said.

“Consider it my contribution for today,” I said.

“I’ll make a mental note of it.”

“Have you ever thought about having children?” I asked.

She hesitated for a moment before answering. “I thought about it when I was younger, but not as much over the past few years.”

Her closed off expression told me that the question had broached a tough subject. I decided not to press just now. I wanted to bask in the glow of our night together a little while longer.

“How about you?” she asked. “Do you want children of your own?”

“I didn’t, no,” I said.

“You didn’t?” she asked.

“I mean, I don’t. It’s—complicated, I guess.”

“Do you enjoy watching Liam and Hadley?” she asked.

“I do.”

“Do you watch them a lot?” she asked.

“Often, yes.” I was skirting the issue.

“I’m sure your brother appreciates it,” she said.

I felt my shoulders pull tight at her statement. I still wasn’t ready to talk about it. I wasn’t ready to rehash that night when the police came rolling up onto my fucking doorstep in the middle of the woods. I wasn’t ready to rehash how angry I was at the scenario when two helpless little kids were dumped on my doorstep. I wasn’t ready to own up to how resentful I’d been of their presence for the first month before I caved and hired a nanny because I was weak.

And selfish.

And a fucking pill-popping tool.

When I came back to reality, Melanie was staring at me. I could tell she was curious and a bit worried and I felt exposed. So, I did what did best; I deflected.

“I’m gonna go get some work done in the shed,” I said.

I saw her twitch for a split second before Liam came running around the corner.

“Got my outfit!” he yelled.

“All right!” Melanie said, smiling. “Let’s see what you got here.”

I smirked at Liam’s choice of clothing. He picked out a pair of fuzzy socks, his tie-dyed pajama bottoms, a black sweater, and a reindeer hat. Melanie began helping him dress, showing him how to put on his own shirt and giving him room to try it himself.

He was grunting with frustration, but he seemed to be getting the hang of it.

“Go on,” she said, as she looked at me. “I’ve got it here. Go get your work done.”

“You sure?” I asked.

“Yep. I got this.”

Liam tripped trying to put the rest of his sweater on and Melanie caught him in midair. She helped him the rest of the way while he wiggled around, trying to get his head through the wrong opening. Her face lit up whenever she was working with the kids and a part of me started wondering if I could convince her to become full-time.

She was way better with the kids than my nanny was anyway.