Dirty Secrets (Get Dirty 4)

“Logan.”

My single word cuts through his attempt at lightness and refocuses him back to business.

“Of course, sir. I was at Mat Madness, not for duty but because Max and Dalton let me use their stuff in exchange for pointers on their amateur fighters. I’ve been helping them coach one of the up-and-coming kids.”

He pauses like he’s waiting for me have something to say about that, but I don’t have patience for that right now. “Continue.”

“She must have seen my car in the parking lot, assumed I was there to watch her,” Logan says, turning slightly red. “She stormed in, and before I could even greet her, she ripped me a new one, the gist of which was to leave her the fuck alone, and then she stomped out. Whole thing took maybe a minute? Max and Dalton were rather amused at seeing her hand me my ass while I stood there like a gaping fish.”

I have a flash of pride in my girl. It’s good to imagine her unafraid of someone as athletic and dangerous as Logan. Not that Logan would touch Allie. He’s a good man and has strict orders not to unless it’s for her own safety.

But her ire at being watched means she’s still fighting with herself over what we are, what I mean to her. I swallow the painful thought down, not willing to let Logan see my hurt at her dismissal of what we have.

“So what does that have to do with Wilson being on duty tonight?” I ask.

Logan rubs at his jaw. “You want us to stay invisible, Boss. Allie knows Gavin and me, knows our cars, knows our builds well enough to spot us in a crowd. Wilson might not be the best, but he’s . . . invisible because she doesn’t know him that well. I also told him to dress casually when he’s on patrol, just one more way to be inconspicuous. Because she’s obviously looking, testing to see if you’ve really left her alone.”

I growl to let Logan know he’s walking a fine edge.

After our fight, I’d had to tell him and Gavin to step back in their chaperoning, to be invisible once again. Logan, who sort of knows what happened, hadn’t liked it, but he’d done it when I reminded him that though Allie might not want to be guarded, she damn well needs the bare minimum because the whole town knows she is mine.

And though there may be suspicions as to why I’ve been such an asshole lately, no one really knows that there is trouble in our fucked-up version of paradise, so she’s very much at risk.

“Wilson?” I muse. “He’s a good asset here at the club, but this assignment is more important. Do you trust him to do his job, keep her safe, not be seen, and not touch her if he is?”

Logan nods immediately. “I do. I stressed the importance of the matter to him . . . personally.”

With a sigh, I acquiesce. “Very well.”

He turns to go but stops with one hand on the doorknob. He looks up and then turns to face me fully, his hands crossed in front of him.

“Sir, may I speak freely?”

It’s a big thing to ask me in my current mood, and he knows it. To be honest, I’m not sure I want to hear what he has to say, but his proximity to Allison teases at me, wanting any tidbit of intel he might have on her.

I have done my best and haven’t contacted her, haven’t spied on her or knocked on her door to beg entry, but it’s been hard. Without the insights from Logan and Gavin, I’m not sure I could’ve withstood the last two weeks.

I nod, not saying a word so he knows to be cautious.

Logan clears his throat. “Dominick, she looks like hell. She’s holding it together, putting on a smile for the kids and the ladies in her classes, but it’s fake. She’s fraying around the edges. Her eyes are puffy like she’s been crying a lot, and I think she’s even lost weight. The light through the window says she’s got her TV on into the early hours of the morning, so either she’s not sleeping or she’s sleeping in the living room. I think she’s falling apart.”

In an instant, I’m out of my chair, pacing back and forth. I run my fingers through my hair, grabbing handfuls and pulling hard to punish myself for doing this to her. I hate that she is in pain. I can withstand anything but that. I need to go, need to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything will be okay. Reassure her and myself. She will come around. She has to.

I make a move toward the door and Logan bravely steps in front of me, halting my progress. “Sir. Stop. I wasn’t finished, and I can read it all over your face, but you can’t go to her. She’s working it out. It’s hurting her, but you’re in no condition to go to her either. As much as she looks like shit, you’re just as bad.”