Kevin inhales, trying to stand at his tallest, most imposing. His forearms clench and his biceps start to strain as he puffs up. It strikes me that once upon a time, he’d stand over me like this and I’d find it so damn sexy I’d be instantly wet, but now, his attempt at intimidating me is just ridiculous. “You’ll be sorry. You’ll never find someone who treats you like I do, who satisfies you like I do.”
God, how could I have been so blind? “Like you do? You know, I hope you’re right because you treat me like an afterthought, using me as an ATM when you’re a little short, screwing around, and blaming me for your lack of success when it’s your own fault,” I reply, keeping my voice calm but firm, not letting him get an inch on me. I’m not going to raise my voice, to yell or let him think that he’s gotten to me, because for some reason, honestly, he hasn’t. “And as for satisfied in bed, I have literally never had a single orgasm with you. Ever. I’m not gonna lie, your dick is nice to look at and photographs well, apparently, but you don’t even know what to do with it. Sticking it in and out for two minutes before blowing into a condom and then rolling over to gasp while staring at the ceiling doesn’t quite cut it, Kev. So yeah, I hope I never find someone who treats me like you do. I thought I could settle for content, just float along and not rock the boat, but I deserve so much more.”
Before Kevin can reply, I turn and walk toward the stairs, not wanting to lose my nerve in front of him. It’s not until I’m halfway down that the shakes start as the adrenaline leaves me, but I keep it cool until I get to my car.
One Week Later
A week since the blow-up with Kevin and I’m surprisingly not upset. Disappointed, sure, but if you end a one-year relationship with someone, shouldn’t you feel sad? I’ve felt a lot of other emotions, anger mostly, but they’ve faded too. Instead, I’m just left with this . . . I guess more than anything, lack of things to do. I’ve got more free time on my hands, but I’m not sad or upset.
I guess the lack of depression goes to show how far apart we’d drifted and how unattached I was from him without even realizing it. Really, the most annoying part of this whole thing has been that I’ve had to change my gym membership because I didn’t want drama or to limit myself to when I could or couldn’t go based on his haunting the place.
Maybe I never really was in love with him. We’d met at the gym, and he’d been charming and admittedly hot, so when he asked me out, I said yes. Our dating just naturally progressed, and somewhere along the way, we started calling it a relationship, but who knows if he was ever really committed? I was faithful, but that was more out of habit and the fact that I would never cheat than any obvious commitment we had. It’s not like he ever put a ring on it.
Even though it had been over a month since we’d been intimate, I’d gone to the doctor for a checkup just to be safe, and luckily, everything was clear. I can’t believe he’d put me at risk, but I guess I should’ve seen it coming considering guys always cheat.
Taking the opportunity to do a purge on everything in my life, I’ve got the radio turned up and I’m cleaning my apartment like a mad woman when I hear the voice. His voice.
It’s like velvet-covered gravel, and just a few words make me breathless and hot. “Good evening, listeners. Derrick King here, aka the ‘Love Whisperer’. What’s happening in your love life? Our focus tonight is on pushing boundaries in the bedroom. What’s encouraging and fun? What’s demanding and over the line? Call in if you’ve got something to discuss.”
I’ve gone stock-still, my cleaning completely forgotten as his voice washes over me. I turn it up a little more as I finish sweeping, deciding everything else can wait as I listen.
Over the next few hours, Derrick is surprisingly simple in his answers to callers, who want to try a variety of things sexually but for whatever reason haven’t discussed it with their partners. It’s almost comical how every call gets into a groove, and it sort of goes like this:
I want to do this crazy thing.
Have you asked your partner?
No.
Talk to them. Maybe they’re into it.
But I’m not sure they want to.
How could you know if you don’t talk with them? If they are, great. If not, decide if it’s a deal breaker and move forward according to your answer. Chances are it’s not a deal-breaker if you’re not doing it now.