I touched her now with a little of what was in my heart and she curled into me like a kitten.
The lines were beyond blurred and there was no use denying it. In my heart we were no longer master and sub, though I wasn’t going to share that with her yet. There was still too much to do before I could take that last step.
Instead I turned her to her back and made love to the woman I’d given my heart to and there truly was a difference. The need to dominate was still strong. It will always be there I’m sure. But there was now another need as well. The need to love, to cosset, to own in every way possible.
* * *
That night I fell asleep holding her tightly in my arms and didn’t feel when she slid out of my bed for hers. I’d meant for her to stay with me, but I guess I’d trained her too well. I was worn down by emotion, not to mention physically drained from cumming inside her more than I ever had before. I think I even broke my record of taking her five times in one night, and so I didn’t feel her leave me.
When I rolled over in the morning the first thing I heard were her chains. I know I hadn’t tied her last night, so the sound made no sense until I opened my eyes and saw her now stirring on her bed in the corner. After everything I’d felt the night before it was a jolt to the system seeing her over there like that.
Outside the window I could see that the sun had barely come up, which meant we’d both barely had any sleep. I had to get my day started, but there was no reason for her to be up.
I got out of bed wordlessly and walked over to her, picking her up in my arms and taking her back to bed. Once there I made sure she was comfortable and with my arms and one leg thrown over her, settled again.
Her body was stiff and unsure until I kissed her hair and said, “sleep.” She finally settled down enough to fall into slumber again and I kept watch over her for a little while longer until it was time to leave her and get the day started.
23
Alyssa
* * *
There’s something different about him. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s almost like that feeling when the cloud moves away from the sun. Or maybe I’ve been shut away here for so long it’s finally getting to me. That must be it, because the hate I once bore him, if I can call it that, has lessened more and more each day.
Instead of wanting to get away, to escape this pathetic life he’d inflicted on me, I now find myself missing him when he’s gone. And last night, what was that about? I’d felt the change in him that look in his eyes when he’d looked down at me. I hadn’t seen it before, that strange light that came from within and made his face glow.
As if he needed any help in the looks department. He was too good looking for his own good already. The thought reminded me of who he was and what I meant to him, nothing but an object to be owned. I will never be his equal; he’ll never see me as anything more than his little plaything. The realization made me sadder than I would’ve thought possible.
I started to climb out of his bed. It didn’t feel the same with him not in it, and besides I didn’t want to get used to this new attitude of his only to have it changed again in the middle of the week. I’d fallen for the princess thing thinking that it made a difference and look where that got me.
The soreness between my thighs reminded me once again of the night before as I walked gingerly to the shower to clean the stink of sex off of me.
My face heated at the memory of all I had done. How I’d touched him like a lovesick puppy. How his whispered words of praise had made me feel like the most cherished woman in the world. I’d cried out for him and even begged him to fuck me once or twice when I just couldn’t hold it in. I’d done everything but proclaim my love for him.
Did he know? Had I given myself away? This thought put fear in my heart more than any other could. I couldn’t stay here if he’d learned my secret. I couldn’t bear it if he had. The shame of it was almost too much to take. He’d gloat like the overbearing ass he can be if he knew that my stupid heart had fallen for him.