“You…” I drew her in and kissed her hard with my hand on her flat tummy. I held her close and told her how happy I was about the baby. “Are you okay love?” She nodded her head and I kissed her one last time before I let her go and headed for the door. “Braxton, where are you going?” I didn’t answer her as I left the room.
I was pleased about the baby of course, and usually I would’ve stayed with her and we would celebrate by reenacting what got her that way in the first place. But she had to pay for her fuck up. That shit was dangerous and she knew it. The fact that she kept it from me no matter what her reasons was unacceptable.
Now she tells me she’s carrying my child and that shit only makes this shit that much worse. Too fucking close.
She’d probably convinced herself that I wouldn’t beat her ass because of the pregnancy, and she was right. But there were other ways to discipline her ass.
I should’ve reined her in a long time ago, so this was partly my fault. It ends now though, that shit was the last straw. I headed for one of the guestrooms but chose the one closest to her and my kids just in case they needed me in the night.
* * *
ALYSSA
* * *
Three days. That’s how long he stayed away from me. That first night I couldn’t believe that he’d actually leave me all night. It was the first time we’d ever slept apart since we moved here. No matter what the day held, each night I looked forward to being held close in his arms where I felt safe, loved and protected.
The next morning he wouldn’t even look at me, and I got the feeling he was only there because of the kids and because I’d told him I was pregnant. It hurt so bad when he left the house without even saying goodbye that I’d moped all day long.
He’d called and spoken to Lucille around noon to check up on the kids, and she, knowing him so well had tried to shield me from the fact that he hadn’t even asked to speak to me.
I cried myself to sleep that night and the other two as well. By the third day I had run the gamut from anger to self-recrimination until I finally had to admit to myself that I was wrong. I know this man, knew how he would react and yet I’d still done things the wrong way.
By the morning of the third day I was ready to tackle him to the floor just to get a smile. He helped with the kids, made sure that the house had everything it needed, but still he didn’t say one word in my direction. The fourth morning I came down to breakfast feeling like a limp rag after another restless night.
I didn’t stop to think; all I knew was that I needed this to end. I couldn’t take it. I walked to his chair and got to my knees beside him, head down, hands folded behind my back. “I’m sorry master. Please spank me now, I can’t take any more…”
“Now you’re telling me what form your punishment should take?” I grabbed his leg afraid that he’d leave and cold fear ran through my blood. Had I really gone too far this time? I knew some of the story between him and his dad, but I never once thought that I would get caught in the middle like this.
“No, I’m sorry, please, please don’t be angry with me anymore I can’t bear it.”
“Is the baby okay?” Is that all he cared about? My voice was soft and lifeless when I answered him. “Yes.” He didn’t say anything else and to keep him from leaving I started talking.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you or disobey you. I just wanted to protect you. I know what he’s done, he’s taken more than enough from you already and I didn’t want him anywhere near you. I know now that I was wrong, that I should’ve told you, but please know I didn’t deliberately set out to disobey.”
I kept my head down so he wouldn’t see the tears that were starting to gather in my eyes. Once again he held his silence for an uncomfortably long time and I was beginning to think I hadn’t gotten through to him; that I never will when it comes to this.
And then I felt his finger over his brand on my neck and my limbs went weak. “Is that it?” “I’m sorry; it won’t happen again ever I promise. Please don’t be mad anymore.”
“Why are you sorry?” I took a moment to get my thoughts together.
“Because I hurt you by not letting you do your job which is protecting me and the kids. I didn’t think things through, but when I saw him standing there all I could think of was the last time we were all in that room together and how angry you were. I didn’t want you going after him and finishing what you started that day. But I know now that wasn’t my place. I’m sorry.”