His eyes widened a fraction. "Oh yeah…"
Oh goodness. Here we go again.
"Um…okay, this is really weird to say, but…uh… My mom wanted me to invite you to our house tomorrow night. "
"Why?"
"For dinner. " He looked down now and almost jumped back a foot. He frowned, twisted at his shirt's collar, and looked away. "This is so uncomfortable. "
"And perplexing. " I grabbed his shirt and hauled his face down so he was eye level with me. "Why does your mom want me over for dinner?"
"Because of Coach. "
"Explain. "
"Oh, uh, they're dating. " He reared back. "You didn't know?"
My heart shrunk. "I had hoped to forget it. Thanks for reminding me. "
His mouth twitched up now. "Hey, no problem. Okay, so she wants you to come over around six. Can you bring a bottle of wine?"
"I'm underage. "
He shrugged. "Get one from your mom; tell her it's for the dinner. "
"And is it?"
He grinned again. "Nah, man. We can drink it later. I figure you can come to dinner and then we can take off for the party afterwards. It'd look cool to show up with a bottle of wine, you know. It's like we're mature and grown up. "
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"The Kade party. " He frowned at me. "You didn't know?"
I glared at him. "Well I do now, don't I?"
"Yeah, it's going to be awesome. They're throwing it in some huge suite at a hotel. My dad's stayed there a few times. It's supposed to be out of this world. "
So they had time to spread the word about a party, but not invite me? I folded my arms over my chest and leaned back against my locker when Mark bounced away. He slapped hands with another guy as he did so and they started laughing. I watched his lips and knew he was talking about the Kade party, the one I hadn't been informed about. Then again, I shouldn't have been surprised. Mason and Logan disappeared after Tuesday. They were with their mother the whole week. James went to their hotel one night, but Analise and I hadn't been asked to go along.
I never heard from them the rest of the week. A part of me tried to be reasonable. They were busy. They had lots of practices and I knew both were intent on demolishing Roussou, tonight's game.
It made sense why I had slipped their minds.
I groaned and let my head fall back with a thump against my locker. It made no sense. They should've called me, or texted.
"Hey. " A soft voice spoke and I opened my eyes. Adam stood in front of me with a grim look on his face.
"Hey. "
He looked around. "Do you think we could talk somewhere?"
I gestured for him to lead. I had no idea where to go.
He gave me a small grin before he started off and looked back every now and then to make sure I was following behind. As we passed the bathroom, Lydia and Becky popped back out. Their eyes went wide again and there was a repeat performance from before. They scurried back in with hands over their mouths and heads together.
I rolled my eyes and saw a mirrored reaction on Adam's face.
When he pushed open a door, I saw we were in some room with televisions, keyboards, and computer screens loitering around. Cords were everywhere. "What is this?"
"It's where the media geeks hang out. "
"Won't they need this room?"
"I don't care. They won't come in until we're done. "
And with those words, an awkward silence fell over us. I looked at him, he looked at me. Neither of us spoke. So I slumped down on some couch. When did the media geeks get a couch for their room? Then I stopped caring as Adam cleared his throat and fiddled with his thumbs.
"Just say what you need to say, Adam. We can leave as soon as you're done. "
He expelled a deep breath. "That's the thing; it's harder to do this than I thought it would be. "
"To do what?"
His eyes found mine and pierced me. "To apologize. I've been trying to do it all week, since Tuesday, but I couldn't muster the courage. "
"You need courage to be nice to me?"
He laughed. "I need courage to humiliate myself for you again. "
I frowned. Humiliate?
He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed at his jaw. "Look, I'm real sorry about everything that's happened. I've been a huge ass and I know that doesn't even cover how I've been towards you. "
I looked away. Did I want to hear this? Then I sighed. It didn't matter. Here it went…
He continued, "You know that I liked you, I still do if I'm being honest. When I found out that you were tight with the Kade brothers, I went crazy. I was jealous and I was a prick and you have every right to never talk to me again. I was acting like a spoiled douchebag who didn't get his prize. "
I looked down. "I think that's putting it mildly. "
He chuckled. "Yeah, probably. Look, Mason had every right to knock me out. I said something horrible about you to him. "
My head jerked up. "What'd you say?"
He choked on his next words. "What? He didn't tell you?"
"No, he didn't so you tell me. What'd you say?"
He grimaced. "I'd rather not. "
"Adam. "
"You're going to hate me even more now. I thought you knew. "
I couldn't ignore how he kept looking at the door. "Adam. Speak now. "
He groaned and messed up his hair. "Oh—fine. I might've mentioned something about if he was dropping off his whore…or something like that. I'm not sure what word exactly I used, but it wasn't a nice one. "
I swallowed a lump of coal down my throat. "And what'd he say in return?"
"Besides the punch? He might've said something like I looked pathetic, I'm not sure. That whole day was jumbled up to me. I was stupid that day, real stupid. I deserved what happened to me. "
"You deserve to get hit again, if you ask me. "
He grimaced. "I know and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. My dad asked me what I said to piss off Mason Kade. When I told him, he said the same thing. He said I was being stupid and then my mom told me I was acting like a spoiled brat. "
"Why were you? I never told you I was going to date you. "
"See, that's the thing. " He sat on another couch and cursed when a bunch of cords obstructed his way. He shoved them aside. "I thought maybe you didn't want to date me because you weren't over Sallaway. I thought you needed time and I was going to try and give that to you. I wanted to give that to you, but then I saw how Kade handled you. Literally handled you at their party and I went crazy. I couldn't believe that ass—" He stopped as he saw my face. "I'm just real sorry. I am, Sam. And I'd really like for you and me to be okay. I know Becky's been hammering at my ass since day one with you. She won't let it go. "
"So are you here for me or for her?"
"Both," he groaned. A grin slipped past his lips. "Miranda is livid with me. She wanted to upstage you, but the whole thing between me and Mason made it impossible for her to do what she wanted. I kept telling her it wouldn't work. You wouldn't care. "
"What was she going to do?"
"I'm not sure what it was, but she was sure you were going to get mad. "
"How would you know I wouldn't care?"
He threw me a look. "Because you don't care about anything. It's your ammo. You don't give a damn and no one can touch you because of it. "
I folded my arms over my chest. "Really?"
"Yeah. I think that's why you go on those long runs, so you don't feel anything. "
My foot twitched as he said that. Since Mark told me about the party, I was planning on going for a run as soon as I got home after school. Being numb got me through every day. Why mess up a good thing?
"So…are you still pissed at me?"
I started laughing and once I started, I found that I couldn't stop. I bent over and continued to laugh into my knees. My shoulders were shaking
so much. Then sobs started to come and I couldn't stop them either.
"Sam?"
I couldn't respond. Tears flowed freely down my face, but I kept laughing. They started to blend in a form of hiccups that my body kept bursting out with.
"I'm really confused. Are you okay?" He sat beside me and I felt his hand touch my back. He jerked it up right away, and then touched between my shoulder blades again. "Are you okay?"
I wasn't. My word, I wasn't.
The laughter subsided and I kept crying. I couldn't stop the tears. Each sob wracked its way through my body and then Adam turned me into him. I couldn't help it. I knew I shouldn't have, but I burrowed into him and more and more sobs kept wreaking havoc over me. He patted my shoulder and then held me against him. He lowered his head so his chin rested on my shoulder and he murmured against my neck, "Let it all go. Let it out. It's the only way. Let it all out, Sam. " His hand started to rub circles on my back.
"Oh my god. I'm sorry. " I pulled away and wiped at my cheeks. I couldn't believe I'd done this. "I've been a mess lately. "
He frowned and his lip twitched. I knew he had something to say, but he held it back. Whatever it was, I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't handle it so I stood and backed away.
"Sam, you can cry, you know. I'm here for you. Anytime. Call me and I'll come get you. I promise. "
He seemed so sincere. Something dark filled me and I shook my head. "And when you see me with Mason again? What are you going to do then?"
His hands pressed against his side and his shoulders straightened. He kept his voice neutral. "Nothing. I promise. I won't do a thing anymore. " Each word seemed to bring him pain. "If you want to be with him, then so be it. I wish you…happiness…"
He looked away and his jaw clenched.
It wasn't over. "You might mean your apology now, but nothing's really changed. You hate that I'm with him—"
"If you're with him then why are you crying on my shoulder?" he bit out. "He's not here for you. Have you ever cried on his shoulder?"
"This was good timing for you. "
"Like hell it was! You broke down in front of me. I rather doubt there are a lot of people that you've broken down in front of. You're always so in control of your emotions, but not now. You let me in. That's what happened here. You trust me, even if you don't know it, you trust me. I know you do. "
"Stop. " The word slipped from me. My voice was shaky.
"Sam, think about that. " He held a hand out to me and I couldn't bear the sight of his pleading.
I shouldered away his hand and slipped from the room. As soon as I had collected my bag, I bolted from school. The week had started with a bang and it ended with one. As soon as I got home, I went on a run and three and a half hours later I limped my way home.
I'd been running too much. It was starting to become unhealthy, but it did its job. I collapsed in my bed as soon as I left the shower. When I woke it was dark out and I grimaced in confusion. My phone peeled through the cool night air and it lit up my desk.
I groaned, but pulled myself up and stumbled to it.
Logan's name flashed across the screen.
I snapped it open, not sure if I was ready for this. I mumbled out, "ello?"
"You didn't come to the game?"
"Huh?" I squinted at the clock. It was after nine? I should still be in bed. "Logan," I groaned. "I was sleeping. "
"Our biggest game this season and you weren't here!"