I felt sick.
From the rage in her eyes, I knew that had been her plan. My mother was sick, she was not right. Oh god. How could she have done that?
James whirled around to her. His back was to me now, but I staggered to the table behind me and sat down. I couldn't move; I could only sit as he drew to his fullest height. But he didn't say anything, not a thing. The room was so tense, my heart continued to race.
"Honey—" She tried, but she stopped.
Slowly, so slowly, he turned and left the room. And that was enough.
I'd just broken what love he had for her.
"Get. Out."
I fell off the chair. Her tone was ferocious, and as I saw the enraged eyes, the fisted hands, I knew she was close again. The robe fell open, and she was braced in front of me. The nightgown was white, like the one from that night, except this one wasn't drenched in blood. A part of me fell away and slipped back to the memory. She'd been so quiet, almost dead, in the bathroom with the pool of blood beneath her. Her eyes had been murderous days later.
My mother took a step towards me. She drew in her breath, as the veins on her neck stood out. One of her hands started to shake back and forth, but it wasn't from fear. I stood now, numb suddenly, and looked at my mother.
"OUT!"
I flinched, but I couldn't move. She wanted me to leave? But—
"GET OUT! NOOOOW!"
"Analise!" James rushed back into the room. "Do not speak to her like that!"
My heart picked up again, I couldn't breathe once more, and I fell against the wall behind me. It was all closing in around me. This wasn't how I thought it was going to be. She wanted me gone, actually gone… I cared. I hadn't known that I cared.
When I heard a thump, she was on the floor. A hand was to her chest and she was out cold.
"Oh my god." James dropped to his knees beside her. He skimmed his hands over her body, checking for anything wrong with her. When there was nothing, he pressed his fingers to her neck and felt her pulse.
She was breathing. I watched as her chest moved up and down, but I saw it from the distance. I had detached from myself. I was floating away, to somewhere safer than in that room.
"…911 now!..."
"Huh?" I looked at him through a fog now.
"911, Samantha!"
I frowned. 911? She was faking, didn't he know that? But I couldn't speak. The words never came as he rushed past me for the phone. It was attached to the wall behind me, and as he grabbed and lifted it to his ear, his accidentally pushed me backwards.
I reached out for something to hold onto, but there wasn't anything. It was just wall and then I fell to the floor. I scooted up against the wall and sat there as he spoke on the phone.
Everything happened in slow motion. It was surreal. I was watching a movie played out in front of me. The ambulance hadn't taken long. Two EMTs checked her vitals and interrogated James with questions. When they couldn't find anything wrong, they loaded her onto a stretcher and left.
James went with them. He glanced back at me once and asked me a question, but I couldn't make sense of it. I saw his mouth moving, but I couldn't hear him. There was a buzzing sound in my head, it drowned out everything else. When I only looked at him, he gave me a small frown, but grabbed a set of keys from a drawer. He left after that.
I was like that when I heard pounding on the door.
I couldn't move. I knew I should get up to see who that was, but I couldn't. But then—no. I had to get up. She'd been faking it. Why was I in shock about that? So, slowly, I pushed myself up and then went to the door.
I turned the lock the whole way and the door was shoved open. My hands braced against it, and I was thrown against the wall. Before I could fall or steady myself, Mason grabbed me. He hauled me close.
I gasped, everything came flooding back.
God, the buzzing sound was still there. It felt like someone was stomping their foot on my head.
"Where'd they go?"
Logan rushed past Mason into the kitchen. He came back a second later and lifted his hands. "They're gone." He looked at me. "Did they go to the hospital already?"
I shook my head. "She was faking it." She had to have been.
Mason clutched me tighter against him before he pressed a rough kiss against my forehead. "Are you okay?"
Logan stepped closer, concerned as well.
What were they so scared about? She was faking.
"Sam." Mason cupped both sides of my face. "Your mom collapsed. Dad called us. He said you were in shock. Are you okay?"
"She didn't," my voice cracked. I shook my head. Why did everyone believe her? "She's faking." I knew it, she had to have been. The convenient timing, how dramatic it had been. All of this was nuts. It was over the top, how Analise liked to live. I shook my head clear of the shock and my voice became clearer. "I told your dad what she was going to do, that she was going to press charges against you and then pretend she hadn't been thinking straight. She saw it, she saw his face." I hadn't. His back had been turned to me, but how he'd grown quiet, how he had left the room. I'd been so sure that it was done, that they were done. How could he have stayed with her after knowing that?
"Huh?" Logan scratched his head.
Mason cursed under his breath. "Nothing."
"Wait, that's not nothing." Logan stepped closer. "What aren't you telling me?"
Mason stiffened, but when I knew he was going to feed him another lie, I spilled the beans. "My mom was going to press charges of statutory rape against Mason. It's illegal to have sex with a minor. He's 18. It would've stuck."
Logan's eyes went wide. He sucked in his breath and gaped at us. Curses spewed from him as he shook his head. "And you weren't going to tell me? What the hell, Mason?! What the fucking hell?" He stopped abruptly, but then his gaze shot back to us. "Nate knew, didn't he? When did you know about this?"
Mason cursed under his breath.
My hand found his and I held tight to it. "She told me the same day you guys left. I was coming to see Mason and she was waiting for me. She knew I would." I swallowed over a knot. "That was the ace up her sleeve. It would've ruined his life."
"Fuck."
Mason let out a soft breath behind me. His hand wrapped around my waist, and he tugged me back against him. As he held me, I watched Logan from his shelter. I waited for his response, whatever it was going to be. It wouldn't be good. I knew that much. He'd been lied to.
"Fuck you!"
I closed my eyes. There it was.
"Fuck you! Seriously." He scooted away from us, all the way to the back wall.
I started for him, but Mason went instead. He stood close to him as he lifted his hands up, as if to his shoulder. Then he dropped them. "What would you have done?"
Logan glanced up, his gaze stormy. "I would've done something."
"Exactly." Mason sighed. His hands found his waist and his head hung down. His voice came out soft, "You would've come over here and threatened her, or you would've done something worse. You've been asking every day to tie her up and scare the crap out of her."
Logan gave a weak laugh. "I wouldn't have really done that."
"I don't care. This needed to be handled the right way and I had no idea what to do, not until last night…" He lifted his gaze to me.
I realized that he wanted me to confront her. He knew that I was the only one that could've. Shame flared through me. I should've done this sooner. Now it was all a mess.
I sighed, "She kicked me out."
"What?" The surprise was clear with both of them. Then Mason turned back to me. He asked again, "Does she really want you gone?"
I shrugged. "It seemed like it."
"Are we sure she was faking?" Logan frowned. "Are we completely sure that there wasn't something wrong with her?"
Mason started to reach for his phone, but I stopped him. I put my hand on his arm. "She's done this before."
"What?"
Logan poked his head around Mason.
"What?"
"She lost a baby…before…" But as I said it I realized the truth, I realized why I had spoken up in the first place. "No, she killed her baby."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Dad!" I ran down the hallway and shoved open their bedroom door, but there wasn't anyone inside. The television was on so I circled around the bed and threw open the bathroom door. Still no one. "Dad?"
"Sam!"
I jerked and my bag went flying across the room. I cursed.
Logan laughed from the doorway, a bag slung over his own shoulder. "You ready?"
Was I ready? I looked around my room, it'd been my home for the last five months and now I would move into another one. No, I wasn't ready, but I was at the same time. A sigh left me. "Yeah…"
"Oh, come on." He sauntered in the room and threw an arm around my shoulder. As he pulled me tight against his side, his hand spanned the rest of the room. "Think of it this way, your next room's going to be orgasm-friendly. That's good feng shui, right? Heh? Heh?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me, chuckling. "That's all about natural bliss and stuff like that, isn't it?"
I shrugged off his arm and grabbed my two bags. "Come on, let's get out of here." I went to the door. He didn't. I looked back. "What?"
Logan had an odd look on his face. He glanced to me and then back to the room. Then he took a breath. "Did you want to go to the hospital?"
"Why?"
I knew why. I wasn't stupid, but god, I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.
"You know," he hesitated. "I know Mason went there to make sure that she really was faking, but did you want to go too? To make sure that what she was said was legit? That she's actually kicking you out? I mean, I don't know, Sam. Your mom's crazy, certifiable, but she's nuts about you. Since we all got close, your mom's gone off the deep end because she's scared of losing you."
My stomach clenched as I remembered the murderous look in her eye, the one I saw before she collapsed today.
"Being kicked out is a big deal. You might act like you don't care now, but you will. I'm sure of it."
The sincerity in his voice had me blinking back tears. My throat swelled with emotion and I clasped my eyes shut.
"Hey."
I shrugged out of his hold. He had no idea. His dad had cheated, but he wasn't crazy. James had always and would always love his sons, and while their mom was intimidating, I knew she loved them as well. He had no idea.
"Look," his voice grew gruff. "I didn't say that to make you cry. I only meant that it sucks to be on the outs. You know? I've gotten kicked out of the house a few times and I always acted like I didn't care, but I did. I cared a lot. I think the only person who might not care would be Mason."
I chuckled, but it sounded more of a whimpered sob.
"So…did you want to go to the hospital and make sure this is the real thing? That you're actually being kicked out?"
I needed to pick up the pieces and move forward. I shook my head.
Logan put his arm around my shoulders and flashed me a grin. Pulling me into his side, he dipped his head down. He breathed out against my forehead. "Think of it this way. You no longer have to go to the party. The party will come to you, so that makes you the party…in a way. I guess." Frowning, he murmured, "No, that doesn't make sense either."
Another soft chuckle escaped me. Relieved by the brief respite, I thumped him on the chest. "Thanks for distracting me, but you know that I'll never be considered the party."
"You might, if you got really really drunk and started stripping." His eyes narrowed. "No, because then my big brother would sweep you up and take you for your own private party. You only would've been considered the party if you never knew us and still got really really drunk and then stripped. Then you would definitely be the party."
I rolled my eyes. "So I'm only fun if I had never met you guys?"
"Yep, sounds about right." He wiggled his eyebrows at me and flashed some charm. "So what do you think? Break up with Mason and go get wasted?"
"Are you serious?"
"No." His smile remained, but the laughter faded from his voice. "Not really. Kind of. Do you want to?"
"What kind of brother are you? You're encouraging me to break up with Mason."
"Not really."
My eyebrow arched high. "Really?"
"No, no. In this world we're all friends, no romance at all. That stuff's just too much drama anyways. In this world, you can go off and forget about your mom. Forget everything. Get drunk, or not since you don't really drink, but do whatever you do to take the edge off."
"I run."
"Not that," he said. "I want to be a part of this fun that I'm envisioning for you and that means that I'd have to run. I don't like to run, not unless I'm chasing someone or someone's trying to kick my ass. Then I'd run with you, but not in this world."
"This world? Your world, the one where you're not considered delusional?"
"Yeah." Logan's smile doubled. His eyes sparkled from anticipation. "I might be delusional, but what about Vegas? That sounds like a perfect world to go to. We can do all sorts of forgetting." Tugging my hand, he led the way out of my room, out of the house, and then he drove us towards my new home. My next home.
We were almost to Nate's when I frowned at him. "Were you serious about Vegas?" I didn't dare ask him about the other part, I did not want to know if he'd been joking or not.
At my words, his shoulders dropped and he let loose a deep breath. "Damn."
"What?"
"Ten minutes."
"Huh?"
"You forgot about your mom for ten minutes. That wasn't very long at all, Sam." He winked at me. "You're going to have to do better than ten minutes. Maybe Paris? Let's dream about going to Paris, you and me. What would we do there?"
Laughing now, I joined in. What the hell? "Not Paris. We wouldn't go to Paris if it were only you and me. That's too romantic."
"Ouch."
Ignoring him, I mused, "We'd go…"
"Yes?..."
"Germany." I nodded to myself. That sounded right. "You could drink all the beer you wanted."
"Damn good beer."
There was a silly grin on my face, but I didn't want to think about it. Then it'd go away and it'd been so long. But I couldn't help to ask, "Why only you and me? Why not Mason too?"
He rolled his eyes as he turned the car onto Nate's Road. "Because he's the real deal for you. You and me, all fantasies. Only fun, no drama."
"No drama?" I teased, "What about the twins?"
He grimaced. "Too much drama. We can't have any of that. None whatsoever."
It sounded like heaven, but then we pulled into the driveway and heaven fell back to earth. There were six other cars beside Logan's Escalade. I never would've been concerned if it had been Mason with me—I knew he would've smiled in greeting at their friends, taken my hand, and gone upstairs with me. But it wasn't Mason with me. It was Logan, and Logan was the social butterfly. I knew it wouldn't be long before I'd be upstairs and alone while