Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart 3)

Or maybe that was exactly what I needed. A reminder to keep my panties on and my knees locked tight. Maybe order myself a nice chastity belt. Anything to keep myself from falling into the arms of that man. God knew, it would be far too easy to do.

“All’s I’m sayin’ is you can’t ignore the past, Izzy Mae. If he’s gonna be a part of your son’s life, that means he’s going to be a part of yours. It’s going to come to the point where you have to decide what role that is going to be. Think he’s makin’ it plenty clear where he stands.”

I glanced back over my shoulder when my mama peered that way, and I wasn’t all that surprised to find him looking back, watching intently, that face so gorgeous and eyes filled with something I wished I could avoid.

Sorrow and regret and his own kind of hope.

Dillon took the opportunity to jump him again.

“Got you!”

Maxon let him completely tackle him to the floor.

I wanted to cry out for him to be careful considering I’d seen the damage that had been done, but Maxon didn’t seem to mind at all.

Or maybe he was just welcoming the pain.

Tearing myself away from the scene because it hurt too bad to watch, I turned back to my mama.

Her expression softened. “Would say tough for him if it was all one-sided, but I know my child well enough to know when she’s missin’ something. When she’s wanting something, but she’s too scared to reach out and take it.”

“There are a lot of things we want in life that aren’t good for us, Mama.”

“I guess that’s the problem I’m havin’. He was so good for you, and you were so good for him. Together, you were something amazing, right from the start. Had a bond like few people ever get to experience.”

I sent her a playful scowl. “I think you have a crush.”

She laughed a soft sound. “Wouldn’t call it a crush, but I guess your old mama is one of those hopeless romantics.” She looked over at Maxon who was listening intently as Benjamin read him something from one of his books. “Or maybe I’d just always hoped for something better for that man.”

Heaviness filled my chest when I looked back that way to see the way he was tenderly interacting with my boys. God, had I ever wished for that, too. That he’d have seen himself the way the rest of us did.

Pushing out the strain, I tossed the rag I’d been using into the sink. “Better get them into bed.” I popped up and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, Mama. Tonight was really hard, and you doing all of this means the world.”

“Well, your daddy sure didn’t make it any easier.”

A soft smile pulled at one side of my mouth. “He’s just bein’ protective. I kinda like it.”

Mama chuckled. “Older he gets, the ornerier he gets.”

“Boys love him to pieces.”

Mama sobered, angled her attention to where Maxon was now reading the boys a story, both of them piled on him. “Just who are you talkin’ about?”

Ignoring the implication, I forced myself to walk that way, my heart rate kicking with each step. His presence gettin’ bolder the closer I got.

“Bedtime,” I whispered quietly, somehow not wanting to break up the tranquility.

“Ahh, do we have to?” Dillon complained.

“Yes, you do. We have a big day tomorrow. Benjamin has his first therapy appointment. It’s gonna take a lot out of him.”

Even though I knew he tried to hide it, Benjamin cringed, fear taking hold of those blue eyes that told their own kind of story. One of courage and determination and a life filled with pain.

The kid my hero.

When he turned his face away, I knelt down in front of him. He was sitting right up next to Maxon, and my pulse tripped.

Jumped at the proximity.

I tipped my son’s chin toward me. “Hey, brave boy. I know you’re nervous for tomorrow, but you are going to do great. More than great. You’re gonna blow them away. And just think of all the things you’re gonna achieve there. You are amazin’. Absolutely amazin’.”

Grief panged at my ribs when his crooked mouth twisted with a smile of timidity, this child never wanting to make me worry about him.

“It’s okkkay,” my sweet son promised in his fearless way.

I could feel the anxiety and questions coming off of Maxon, the way he stiffened as he angled the full weight of his attention on Benjamin.

He looked at him as if he were a stranger.

As if he’d known him forever.

As if he got it and didn’t have the first clue of what to do about it.

He glanced at me, gutted, at a loss.

Maxon slowly shifted and climbed onto his knees, and carefully he edged all the way in and wrapped his arms around Benjamin.