Jace rocked back in the booth, all kinds of smug as he sipped at his beer.
“What?” I challenged, though there was a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth.
He lifted his mug. “You look happy, man. So goddamn happy. It looks good on you.”
“Guess I’m not going to die alone, after all. Going to have to clear that up with my Mal-Pal, aren’t you?” This, I tossed at Ian who was laughing behind his tumbler of scotch.
“All right, all right, I’ll admit defeat. But seriously, asshole, do you really think I was that off base? You’re just lucky that girl is as sweet as she is to put up with a bear like you.”
I gruffed. “Lucky is right.”
Jace angled closer, gesturing to Izzy with a flick of his fingers. “That all went down fast.”
I leaned my forearms on the table. “Think we’ve been barreling down that road toward each other for a long, long time. We were bound to collide. Some things can’t be stopped, no matter how hard you try.”
He hesitated for a second. “How’s it with her boys?”
I looked between them both. “Incredible. Incredible and terrifying,” I added on.
Ian laughed. “Uh, yeah, exactly that. Hardest thing you’ll ever do, and some days you’re going to think you’re never going to get through it, but you wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world.”
“Guess at least I won’t have any diaper escapades,” I told him with a forced laugh, itching a little.
Wondered if it was sympathy that went traipsing through his expression. “No matter what time you come into a child’s life, it matters, Mack. Doesn’t lessen your importance in their lives. Hell, I’d venture to say it makes even more of an impact. Thomas, Mallory, and Sophie are every bit my kids as Collin is.”
A couple days ago, Izzy and I had sat Dillon down and tried to explain to him that I was Benjamin’s biological father without having to give him all the sordid details that went along with that.
Kid had fuckin’ wept.
Not because he was pissed that I hadn’t been there, but because he wanted me to be his “biological” dad, too.
I’d just dropped to my knees and told him it would be my honor if I got to be his dad.
Definitions didn’t matter.
It was the heart’s commitment that counted.
My head shook, and I contended with the regret that vibrated in my being, wondering if it would ever fade. “I believe that, one-hundred percent.” I lifted my beer like I was giving them a toast. “Both of you taught me that.”
For a second, I hesitated, trying to process. “I just . . . wish I could go back. Do it all different. Erase who I was.”
Self-condemning laughter rocked from Jace. “Don’t we all? But that’s not how life is, Mack. You know that. You keep living in the past? You’re gonna repeat it. Only thing you can do is wake up each morning and give thanks you have that day. Spend it wisely. Love entirely. Don’t look back. You can only ever move forward.”
I started to respond when my gaze got tripped up on the movement on the dancefloor.
Oh, fuck no.
A streak of possession blazed through my blood.
A full-blown fire.
Savage and fierce.
Cockroach was winding his way through the throbbing crowd, greedy eyes set on my girl. For the first time he wasn’t wearing scrubs, and instead some preppy boy suit.
Where was Dillon when I needed him?
My hand curled around my beer, fisting the glass like a lifeline. An anchor, only it was what was keeping me from sinking to the pits of that ugliness.
Ian swiveled around so he could see where my attention was pinned. He cracked a wry grin, sitting back like the cocky bastard he was in the booth. “How’s it feel, man? Loving someone so much that you always feel like you’re right on the cusp of losing your mind?”
“Exactly like that. Like I might lose it.”
Only got worse when cockboy slinked up to her like a creeper, not even taking it slow when he set a hand on her shoulder.
Way too familiar.
She whipped around. Her face lit in a stroke of white light.
Staggering beauty.
A wide, welcoming smile split her face when she realized it was him, and those plush lips moved as she responded to something that he said.
He tipped his ear her direction, and motherfuck, I was gettin’ sweaty.
Hot and bothered and not in a cute way.
He angled back, mouth at the shell of her ear, and Izzy nodded along.
And that was it, all I could take. I drained my beer and slammed the empty on the table. Pushing out of the booth, I rose to stand.
Ian laughed. Smug as all hell.
Asshole.
But I didn’t slow, just strode across the floor, eating up the ground, going after what I refused to ever lose again.