All of Me (Confessions of the Heart 2)
Page 38
Ian must have sensed the shiver of unease that rustled through me because he put an inch between us. “Just dinner . . . then you can decide where we go from there.”
His voice shifted, dripping pure sex. “I hope you let me take you where I’m dying to go. Follow me, Angel Girl.”
I guessed he thought I was getting ready to say no because he pushed me back against the door to the salon, his big body pinning mine.
Heat ran wild.
“Please, Grace. Just dinner.”
I hesitated for only a second before I gave a nod. I was going to regret this, I knew I would. But the last thing I wanted right then was to go to my grandmother’s house and face the reminder of an unthinkable possibility.
The vacancy and emptiness echoing back.
“Just dinner.”
I think we both knew it was more than that when he wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me close to his side.
Once again, my attention jumped around. I hated that Reed still held a thumb over me, but I had to be careful. Remember what was riding on the line. A line I needed to toe.
Ian Jacobs had me sliding off.
I turned my face into his neck to hide it.
The only thing I managed to do was breathe his aura in.
He began to lead me through the mob of people that hurried this way and that as they rushed home at the end of their day.
I think we both knew it then.
That this was different.
That this moment mattered.
We knew it because it felt like a start. As if we were standing at the beginning of something great. Which was impossible because this man didn’t know what I was up against.
Who I was or what meant the most to me.
Their little faces flashed through my mind. It stabbed me with guilt. Because I shouldn’t be seeking any pleasure until I knew their happiness was secure. Until I’d finished this fight.
Until I’d won.
With the thought, I peeked out again, darts of anxiety impaling my senses. A warning to be careful. To take heed.
Push.
Pull.
Push.
Pull.
I felt as if I was being yanked in every direction.
My heart propelling me forward, and my rational side attempting to reel me back in.
Being reckless wasn’t going to win me any points. But it wasn’t like going to dinner with a man was wrong. I was committing no crime, and I certainly wasn’t partaking in some kind of disloyalty.
All the betrayals had been perpetrated on me.
I guessed the real test would be if Ian wanted to fight alongside me when he knew.
If he’d be the one willing to take the chance on me.
The problem was, I had no idea when I should tell him or how he would react.
“Just dinner,” he whispered at the side of my head. As if he’d felt every single one of my insecurities crawl across my flesh.
“Just dinner,” I agreed.
I wondered if that was the moment Ian and I told our first lies.
Eleven
Ian
She leaned into me, and I pulled her closer.
I couldn’t help but wonder why it felt so right.
Why I wasn’t repulsed.
Why I didn’t want to push her away.
Why I wanted more.
Why I loved it when she snuggled deeper into my hold.
I didn’t do this.
Not ever.
Didn’t want it.
But right then, the only thing I could think was that I did. That this was a chance worth taking.
Just dinner.
What bullshit.
She and I both knew it. Because she was trembling in my arms, nerves wracking through her, like she was holding back a secret she wanted me to keep.
To hold.
It fucking terrified me that I might want to.
I knew something was up. No doubt there was shit going on with her that I couldn’t see.
I held her close as I led her through the droves of people who were flocking from their workplaces as evening began to settle on the city, the sky hewn in a dusky gray, streaked with pink.
Finally seeming to settle, she exhaled in some kind of relief and peered up at me. She was tall, but she still felt small where she was tucked against my side.
“So, where are you taking me for just dinner?”
A light chuckle rumbled out. “I figured since I need to make a good impression, I’ll have to take you to my favorite restaurant.”
At the intersection, cars stopped at the red light, and I quickly guided her across the street toward the glitzy building that housed Eve’s on the top floor.
She almost rolled her eyes, but there was still something playful about it. “Of course, this is where you would take me. Only a boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth would have a taste for a place like this.”
It was instant. The way turbulence rippled through my senses. The air I was breathing suddenly choppy and rough. “Hardly.”
If she only knew. If she only knew the way I’d lived. The things I’d overcome. The things I’d done to survive.