All of Me (Confessions of the Heart 2)

That they were safe.

But I couldn’t make myself budge from that spot.

Because my soul screamed with how much Ian had come to matter.

“He got involved with Bennet around the time he found his mother dead of an overdose. He was seventeen. Alone. Bennet swooped in. Became a father figure. Ian was seeded in that world before he even knew what being in that world meant.”

My head shook, wanting to refute it, stomach tumbling with rolls of nausea that I could barely keep down.

Sorrow for Ian. Anger at Ian.

He didn’t deserve my sympathy, did he? But I couldn’t stop the way my spirit trembled in pain for the man I didn’t think I’d ever stop loving.

Not after everything we’d shared.

In agitation, Mack speared his fingers through his hair. “Ian’s done some shady shit, Grace. No question. He knows it. He’s known it for a long time. I’ve been begging him to cut ties with Bennet, knowing things were gonna get messy and hoping he would get away before it was too late.”

Mack paused before he rushed, “He turned over everything, Grace. All the proof we needed to put Reed and Lawrence away for a long, long time. He broke into Bennet’s office. Produced all the evidence he could find on the two of them. By doing it, he implicated himself.”

“What?” This time the word left me as a pained breath.

As it all started coming together.

What Ian had done. The goodbye of his text.

He’d given himself up.

For us.

He’d lost his career.

His freedom.

His life.

“Standing here, I’m making no excuses for what he’s done,” Mack continued, helplessness as he tipped his hands up. “He’s done some bad shit. What I am telling you is it about killed me to have to put him in cuffs because at the core of him, he’s one of the best men I’ve ever met. He proved that to me all over again last night. He gave himself up for you. For your family.”

“What’s going to happen to him?” A shiver shook my voice, horror and desperation and worry.

“Don’t know, Grace. Only thing I know is that this is what he wanted. He’s ready to pay for his sins. Because of you. For you. Because you were the one who showed him that he does have good inside. That he has something better to offer this world than taking from it. And I can only thank you for that.”

He left me standing there with my tattered heart fluttering in the wind.

I knew all the scars that remained would be the one’s scarred by Ian Jacobs.

And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

* * *

“Ian Jacobs, you are hereby sentenced to a term of one year. A minimum-security facility is recommended.”

A gavel cracked against the wood.

Faith whimpered at my side, and Jace’s eyes squeezed closed, as if he couldn’t look at his brother being sentenced for what he had done.

Ian didn’t even flinch from where he was standing in front of the judge. No trial since he’d pled guilty.

Who knew how many years had been shaved off his sentence for his testimony against Reed Dearborne and Lawrence Bennet.

He just gave a short nod of acceptance and let the guard lead him away in cuffs with his head held high. Somehow both resolute and riddled with shame.

Not once in the last weeks had he talked to me, every attempt I’d made shut down.

You’re better without me.

Go.

Live your life.

So, my breath hitched when he paused to look back at me.

That energy lashed between us. The same as it’d always been.

Alive.

Fierce.

Powerful.

Though this time bogged by the most severe sort of sorrow.

Cinnamon eyes flashed, and I swore I heard him utter the words all over again.

Goodbye, Angel Girl.

All I could silently whisper back was, Thank you.

I had no idea where I would be without him.

He’d taught us so many things. He’d shown my heart what it really meant to love a man.

Wholly and fully.

He’d shown us what true sacrifice meant.

He’d lost everything, and in return, given us a second chance.

Joy.

Peace.

Ian Jacobs.

Our unexpected hero.

Forty-Five

Ian

The gate buzzed, and I stepped out into the late afternoon air. The air was hot from the summer heat, and I swore I could reach out and run my fingers through the heatwaves that sagged from the brilliant sky.

I blinked against it, the first time I’d seen outside a prison yard in six months.

Two steps away, and somehow the air felt different.

Half of my sentence had been shaved off for good behavior.

It almost made me want to laugh considering I hadn’t played partner to a whole lot of good behavior in my life.

But I was finished with that. After all the shit I’d gotten myself wrapped up in, there was no chance I’d go that route again.

Wouldn’t cause my brother worry.

Wouldn’t unwittingly cause people harm.

Never again.

I walked away from the penitentiary, wearing the clothes I’d worn on the day I’d been arrested.