More of You (Confessions of the Heart 1)

“He said he’s just here to help.”

The problem was, I needed it.

God, I needed the help.

By some miracle, Joseph had gotten the money together to buy this place when it’d gone into foreclosure four years ago. We’d had every intention of fixing it up, investing in it until it provided a return.

Owning this house was something I’d dreamed of for all of forever, since the day my mama and I had gone for a walk when I was seven and I fell in love with the place.

With the mystery.

The beauty and the history.

The only thing I’d ever wanted was to make this place a destination, nothing but welcoming rooms and smiling faces and meals I’d prepared shared in the expansive formal dining room.

In reality, it was nothing but a burden. Dangerous, just as Jace had said.

But more than that? Jace had been right with the quiet implication he’d uttered, when he’d tilted his head in emphasis and said I could use an extra set of eyes around here.

Being out here alone had left me vulnerable.

“Help?” Her tone was sharp.

“That was what he said.”

“Oh, I’m sure he’d gladly help get you right out of your panties.”

I gasped, whirling around, covering up my phone like it might shield Bailey from what Courtney had said, because I was pretty sure she’d issued it on a loudspeaker.

Bailey was on her knees, babbling out a made-up song.

I jerked back around, my voice a barely there whisper, shoulders curling down as I hunkered over the phone. “What is wrong with you?”

“You know me well enough to know I’m not gonna tiptoe, Faith Avery. I’m gonna call it as I see it, and I saw the way he was looking at you yesterday. That man’s a wolf who is bound to eat you up.”

Hurt balled up in my belly, so big I could feel it pushing at my heart. “No, Courtney. He’s not. The only way he could hurt me again is if I let him. Besides, I’m married.”

She sighed a painfully elongated sigh, as if she wanted to be there to hug me when she let go of the reminder. “No, honey, you’re not.”

Sorrow.

It swelled like a flood.

Deep. Dark. Suffocating.

I dropped my face into my free hand, trying to keep it together.

I wasn’t a weak woman. I’d never been. So why did it seem like every time I turned around, I was falling apart?

I choked back a cry before it broke just a little.

“Hey,” she whispered, “I’m not tryin’ to be hard on you. You’re free to make any decisions you want. If you want Jace to help out, and he means it? Then fine. I just want you to be careful. You and Jace have a whole lot of history, and a whole lot of it isn’t the good kind. But you have to know, the only thing I really want is for you to be happy. You deserve it more than anyone I know.”

My voice was thin. “I’m not ready for that kind of talk. I’m not sure I’m ever gonna be. It’s too soon.”

“You will be, Faith. Maybe not today. Maybe not in a year. But someday, you will be. Someday, it won’t hurt so badly and all of this suffering is going to be behind you, and that giving heart of yours is gonna be ready. And whoever you choose to love is gonna be one lucky man. All I’m asking is to make sure he’s worth it. That he deserves it.”

Her voice shifted into a tease. “And for the love of God, make sure he’s a good man—both in his heart and in bed—because this time, I’m liable to hunt the man down and chop off his dick if he doesn’t take good care of you. Apparently, that’s frowned upon. Just ask Mack.”

It should have been impossible, but choppy laughter made its way out of me. Courtney just had that way about her. No matter the circumstances, she always found a way to make me smile.

“You’re insane. I never, ever should have told you about that. Remind me never to share a bottle of wine with you. Things come out that you’re bound to use against me.”

It was all a soft tease.

I was nothing but grateful that she’d always been there for me, even when she was saying things that made me turn bright red.

“Um, yes you should have. If you can’t talk to me about these things, who else are you going to talk to? You don’t have to be ashamed of it.”

For a second, we both giggled, until she trailed off, and silence filled the space between us.

It seemed as if maybe she were giving me time to catch up. That was the crazy thing. Time was always marching on. I could feel it pushing one part of me forward, while the other part felt forever chained to the past.