Hold on to Hope

She started it and lurched out onto the road.

I looked back to the café where I knew my son was waiting with my mom as Frankie Leigh was accelerating down the street.

Everything crystallized in that moment.

My reason.

My purpose.

Everett and Frankie Leigh.

Everett and Frankie Leigh.

And I finally knew exactly what it was that I was supposed to be fighting for.

* * *

“You’re going.” Mom was all smiles as we finished off the desserts at one of the lobby tables. My pulse was still beating a little too hard from the interaction with Frankie Leigh fifteen minutes before.

Anxious and excited.

But for the first time in three years, it felt like it might be beating right.

“That’s final.” Mom grinned.

I shook my head, unable to believe I was actually considering this. “Uh, think we’re going to have to sit this one out.”

Pushing up to standing, she leaned over and set her hand on my cheek. “You sat out the last three years. There is no chance I’m letting you get away with that this year, too.”

There might have been a hint of playfulness spinning through her eyes, but I also heard the relevance of it.

She needed us there.

To reestablish some of the traditions we’d lost.

The holidays and the celebrations and the family gatherings that I’d missed more than I’d wanted to admit.

My gaze moved to Everett who’d basically been painted blue—cheeks and lips and teeth and hands.

YOU THINK HE’LL BE OKAY?

Reassurance filled Mom’s expression. So maybe it was readily clear that I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Best I could do was figure it out along the way.

YES. ABSOLUTELY.

Softness tugged at one side of her mouth. “Everyone has been bringing their babies out to the lake for years. The first time your sister went, she was four months old. He’ll love it. I promise.”

Everett banged at the table, babbling one of his songs that I felt vibrate to my bones.

I jerked when something nailed me on the shoulder, and I whipped around to watch as a wad of crumpled paper tumbled to the floor. My gaze traveled the rest of the way to the culprit.

Carly who was standing behind the counter.

Busted.

She didn’t even care. She just grinned. “Frankie’s going to be there.”

I heaved out a sigh. I wondered if that was going to be half the problem. Not sure either of us were ready for that. Not sure how I was supposed to be in her space and act like it was chill and good and we were only friends when I was dying to get us right back to where we’d been before it’d fallen apart.

Old fears flickered. Feelings of selfishness and inadequacy.

I ignored them.

I wasn’t going back there.

Not ever.

Mom’s brow lifted in hope.

I blew out a heavy breath. FINE. WE’LL GO.

Mom clapped and jumped around like she was twelve, swooping in to dot a kiss to Everett’s nose, kid laughing and laughing and laughing.

Joy bounding free.

And I knew this was right.

That he deserved to have this family. These amazing people surrounding him even when I still didn’t know what direction this was going to go.

Maybe it was more unsettling now, knowing exactly where I wanted it to.

I pushed to standing and dipped behind the counter to grab a towel, dampened it under the faucet, Carly watching me with a grin and knowing eyes.

I rolled mine at her.

I watched her silent chuckle.

Forever the pot stirrer, and I couldn’t help but love her for it.

I went back and cleaned off Everett’s hands and face, kid leaning his head back to try to get away. “It’s okay, buddy. We just need to clean you up. Then we’re going to go home.”

Home.

Emotion fisted and crashed.

That’s what this place was. And I wasn’t going to give up until he was a permanent part of it.

“We’re out of here.”

Mom popped up and kissed Everett on the cheek then squeezed my hand. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

I nodded. “Me, too, Mom. Truly.”

Her smile was soft and a little sad, and I waved a hand over my head toward Carly who was helping a customer before I ducked out the door and headed to my car. I slowed when I saw the white paint on the side window.

FREAK.

Instantly, my attention whipped around, doing a complete three-sixty of our surroundings. Searching as my throat closed off. Rage and fear becoming one, a violence unlike anything I’d felt before jumping into my bloodstream as I looked for the asshole who’d stopped me outside the café.

People strolled the sidewalks, scrolled through their phones, came in and out of stores, headed toward their destinations without any care of mine.

Dude was gone.

Thin air.

Unsettled, I cast another look, finally giving up and buckling Everett into his seat. I set my hand on his chest like some kind of instinct, needing to hear it beat.