Torment Me (Rough Love 1)

“Did you just call me ‘seasoned’?”

He waved a pickle spear at me. “Don’t try to joke your way out of this. You’re not too old. What’s the real reason? Is Mr. Cumming getting to you?”

Yes. But not in the way you think.

“If he’s too much, I told you, Nina can take him. If it’s the exclusive thing—”

“It’s not the exclusive thing. I’ve been ready to leave for a while. I finally broke up with Simon—”

“Good.”

“And I feel like I’m on a roll. I just need to keep making changes in my life. I need to keep moving forward while I have this momentum. I planned to start back to school this fall. So I can work a few more months. July and August. After that, I want to be a student. Only a student.”

“A student?” he said, wrinkling his nose. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to escort anymore.”

“Have you told Mr. Cumming this? That you’re leaving the business?”

“No,” I lied.

Henry was looking at me too sharply. He took a bite of his sandwich, watching me as he chewed. “Do the two of you have something going on?”

I laughed, and it sounded so fake. “I don’t think so. Like I said, he still hasn’t told me his name.”

“I knew the exclusive thing was a mistake. Is this his idea, for you to leave the business? He wants to set you up in some apartment to play house for a while? You know how these things end.”

“He hasn’t said anything about playing house.” Although he may have set me up in an apartment…

“These situations last a couple months, and then the girls are back begging for another chance. I’ve been doing this a while, Chere. Once men can have you for free, they don’t want you anymore. The chase is over. The thrill is gone.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said, holding up a hand. “I’m not leaving the business to be with W.”

“Who’s W?”

“That’s what I call him,” I said. “Because I don’t know his name. And I’ve been doing this a while too, so give me some fucking credit. I’m not leaving the business to move in with my client or anyone else.”

I started out trying to convince Henry, but halfway through my tirade I realized it was true. I wasn’t leaving for W, although I really hoped to keep seeing him. I was leaving because I wanted a different life.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m tired of making a living with sex?” I asked. “Before I escorted, I was a stripper. I’ve only ever done sex jobs. I’m tired of being valued for what’s between my legs.”

Henry rolled his eyes. “You make a lot of money with what’s between your legs. You have a good life.”

“How do you know?”

We glared at each other. I loved Henry. I didn’t want to end things on an acrimonious note, but he was being more of an asshole than I’d expected.

“You have a good life too,” I reminded him. “Because of me and the rest of your escorts. What if you had to make that money with your own body?”

“I did make money with my body,” he said, leaning forward. “I understand. I know it gets old, but you’re at the height of your career. You make people happy, even if you’re feeling some weird, unfounded guilt about making money from your sexuality.”

“It’s not that. It’s not guilt. I’m just over escorting. This isn’t what I’m meant to do with my life. I know that, Henry. I’ve felt it for a long time. I always knew there was going to be an ending to it, and that’s happening now.”

“What else are you going to do?”

“I told you, I’m going to go to school.”

“To do what?”

“I’m not sure yet. Design, maybe. Some creative type of career that entails being more than someone’s pretty holes.”

I was quoting W, yes. Henry wasn’t stupid. He suspected W was part of this, but he couldn’t stop me if I wanted to get out. He ate a few more bites of his sandwich, and I ate some of mine too.

“I’m not leaving you high and dry, am I?” I said as the silence lengthened. “You have other girls.”

“I have plenty of girls, but I hate to lose a good one.” He put his sandwich down and brushed his fingers together. “I know I’ve been losing you for a while, and I understand why, but I don’t have to like it.” He held out his hand, and I took it. “I’m sorry I freaked on you, love. You have every right to do what you want with your life. So, a couple of months, you think?”

I nodded. “I’d like to work right up until I start school. Build up a little extra money.”

“Want me to raise the price on E.E. Moneybucks? I’m pretty sure he’d pay it.”