Well, fuck.
Ducking out of the room, I run down the hall to my bedroom
Beth is sitting on the side of the bed. She’s sliding a shirt of mine from the dresser over her top, and I really fight with my instincts to stop and look at the bottom of her breasts before they’re covered.
Fuck, I’m only a man dammit.
Torture. It’s pure fucking torture watching her get dressed.
Shaking my head, I step quickly to the dresser. I was an asshole to the kid last night, and I can only put it down to needing to get the fuck out of there. Well, also needing to lay claim to my woman.
Yanking on a pair of jeans, I zip up. Beth is watching me with a stunned look as I fly past her. “Stay here. I need to talk to the kid.”
“What—” she starts. I wonder if she forgot our little guy was in the house?
Coming to a halt outside of his bedroom, I take a deep breath. Making sure I look calm and composed, I knock lightly on the door jamb.
His head snaps up from where it was hiding on his knees. He’s sitting now in a small ball on the bed, his knees up under his chin.
Staring at me with his big, scared eyes makes me feel like an asshole. An asshole for being an adult. An adult he can’t trust because too much shit has happened.
“Can I come into your room?” I ask him as gently as I can.
Where I attacked first with Simon, I try to play the softer side of my asshole self with this guy. I’m not good with kids.
Fuck, I’m barely good with adults.
“It’s not mine,” he says quietly.
“It is now,” I say, and keep still. I won’t enter that room unless he gives me express permission. “Just like mine and Beth’s is down the hall. This is your room, so it’s your rules.”
He isn’t buying it, though, so I sit down just outside of the doorway.
Fuck, I’m getting old.
My knees crack as they go into the same position he’s in. Mirror, I have to mirror him. Not the abject fear, but the positioning.
It’s like when you interrogate someone, or when you’re in a business meeting. When you want someone to come to your side of things, sometimes you have to start out with being just like them. Very slowly you change your postures and gestures. It gives them a lead to follow.
“Last night must have been really scary for you,” I say. “Fuck, it’s probably more than last night. Right?”
He doesn’t answer, he’s like a small brick wall of fear.
“How long were you with those guys?” I ask.
Nothing.
Fuck it.
“I was kept up like you were for a couple of months back in my early twenties,” I say as I shift a bit, this fucking wood flooring is hard on the ass-bones.
It was more than a couple of months, it was six long fucking months.
“You…” he says quietly after a couple of seconds, but doesn’t finish.
“Yeah… I was down in Mexico… You ever heard of that country?”
He nods his small head, and I know that’s a good step. He’s engaging. This could have taken so much longer, and it probably will if he’s as fucked up as I was.
“Well, I was down there acting like an idiot. Drinking alcohol and causing as much trouble as I could. Bunch of guys I use to know back then, we were all young and stupid. Stupid, as can be,” I growl.
He flinches, but I think he knows I’m not mad at him. More about the shit that happened.
“They have you in a cage, buddy?” I ask.
Again, a small nod.
“Yeah, they ain’t no fun,” I say. “See, me and the guys were at this tit… at a bar, I mean. Lots of music. Grown up girls dancing around the bar for us guys to smile at and give money to. Well… we were being stupid, like I said, and when I tell you this, I’m probably going to say it when you become an adult too. Don’t throw change at a woman dancing and laugh. It’s not smart.”
His eyes look confused as he asks, “Why would I do that? That’s mean, to throw things.”
I want to snicker, but I don’t, he’s probably right. “Yeah, well, I forgot my manners, and so did the guys I was with.”
Nodding at me, he relaxes his arms just slightly and so do I. Mirror, have to be a mirror.
“See, we did that stupid thing, and all these guys who were there took offense to what we were doing. They got us thrown out, and they decided to teach us big, stupid Americans a lesson. See, we were too drunk to really understand how dangerous of a neighborhood we were in, especially since we were the only Americans there. We weren’t in the places you travel to for a vacation.”