“He was always my best. No matter what, he was the bar I measured everyone else up to, you know? But now…it’s like that’s not the same person.”
Nora’s eyes grow wide as she gulps for effect.
“He’s patient now, almost…tender? He kisses me and—”
“No more.” Nora’s hands are an inch away from her ears, mock trying to block out my recant of last night.
“What?” I giggle.
“I have to see him every Friday night at Crave. I don’t want to be looking at him thinking of the way he kisses you in private time and all that. It would be weird.”
Veronica comes out of nowhere and leans against the table. She pretends not to have overheard us for a minute and then, like the small-town business owner she is, she gives in. “You and Cross are together now, huh?”
“No,” I say as Nora says, “Yes.”
Veronica laughs. “I remember the two of you dating. You were always so cute, this big tough guy and a sweet little girl.”
“Yeah, well, we aren’t together,” I say, looking at Nora pointedly. “We’re feeling things out, I guess.”
“I’d say you felt it out.” Nora tosses me a wink. “You’re fighting the universe here, Kal. You and Cross are supposed to be together, having beautiful little babies. You can’t fight it forever.”
“I’d say she’s right. I saw how he was looking at you yesterday,” Veronica chimes in. “But I’m glad to hear you aren’t together right now, not officially, anyway.” She looks down at her notepad and takes an ink pen out of her pocket like she just didn’t say that.
Avoiding Nora’s eyes and swallowing past the lump in my throat, I try to look unaffected. There’s zero doubt she’s toying with me, seeing if I’ll take the bait she just dropped. I wish I could ignore it and continue on with my order and my day, but I’m not strong enough for that. “Why do you say that?”
“No big deal,” she says, giving me a fake laugh. “He was just through the drive-through a few minutes ago with Megan, and we all know that girl’s reputation.”
“Cross was with Megan McCarter?” Nora asks. “Today?”
“Yeah. I mean, if he’s not taken, how can you blame him? Men have needs,” Veronica says.
“That’s the biggest load of horse shit I’ve ever heard.” Nora takes her menu and slams it into the condiments tray.
My hand visibly shakes as I try to get my menu lined up with hers. The plastic rattles as it swings back and forth, bouncing off the metal. Nora has sympathy and takes it from me then puts it away.
The lights of Crave twinkle overhead as I look into the eyes of the man I both love and hate.
“Did you sleep with her, Cross?”
His Adam’s apple bobs. “No. I didn’t sleep with her.”
“Did you do anything with her? Because that’s what they’re saying,” I gulp, my eyes stinging from the tears of the last few hours. They said he was with a redhead from Merom. All I knew is I couldn’t find him. And now, here we are, and I almost wish I hadn’t found him.
“We were at the same party,” he admits.
“The one you weren’t going to?”
“Come on, Kallie …” He blows out a breath. The smell of alcohol is thick on his breath.
Blinking back another round of tears, I take a step back. “You come on,” I tell him. “All you do is party. Drink. Be with God knows who.”
“It’s who I am,” he says, his arms out to the side. He wobbles a little.
Walker stands a few feet away. I look at him.
“You drunk?” I ask, wiping my tears with the back of my hands.
“Nope,” Walker replies.
“Good. He’s all yours.”
I didn’t look back.
Maybe I shouldn’t have now.
“I’m not with him,” I say. It’s aimed at Nora, my words directed across the table, but in reality, I’m saying it for me. “He is working with her at the gym.”
“Look, I didn’t mean to stir the pot…” Veronica looks at me with more smugness than I ever care to see on a person again. It sparks something inside me.
“No, you did.” I slide out of my seat so we’re eye-to-eye. “You always do.”
“Kallie, really, I didn’t.”
“It’s fine, Veronica,” I tell her. “You know why? Because your small town gossip is all you have.”
With a smile as deadly as I can make it, I swing myself in a half-circle and storm to the doors. Nora’s voice trails behind me but I can’t hear what she’s saying. The white noise pulsing through my ears is too loud.
As soon as we’re in Nora’s car, I collapse into the soft leather seat. She flips on the engine but doesn’t pull out.
“This is why I can’t do this with him,” I say out loud.
“Because Veronica is a bitch?”
“No, because this is what it always is.” The words crack with emotion. “I don’t want this and if I don’t stop this shit with Cross, I’ll be settling for a relationship I have to fight all the time.”