“I’m not fucking bothered,” I say to myself. “I’ll figure this out.”
I think. I’m kind of out of my wheelhouse here.
Standing tall, stretching my legs out as I reel in my line, I listen to the crickets. This spot on the lake is always empty. My grandfather showed it to me when I was thirteen, months before he died.
“This is my honey hole,” he said as he led me on the trail to the water.
“But you’re never supposed to share your honey holes. Especially with me,” I said, looking up at him and grinning. “I’ll catch all the fish, and it won’t be your honey hole anymore.”
Grandpa laughed. “Fish isn’t all this honey hole is about, Penn. This is where I get all my good thinking done.”
“Um, I’m just here for the fish.”
“That’s all right,” he said. We stood under the giant oak that hangs over the lake. Grandpa put his hand on my shoulder as he gazed across the water. “But one of these days, I won’t be around. And you’ll want to think about things. Life gets harder as you get older, boy.”
I thought about my life then. My hand went up to my eye and patted at the residual swelling from my dad’s fist.
“You’ll be okay. You’re strong,” he said. “But you’ll need this spot. Trust me.”
“But what if I can’t get here? Then what?”
He grinned. “Then you think about me, and I’ll help you.”
I kick a rock into the water and smile. He was right, as he always was. I’ve found myself drawn to this spot hundreds of times over my life already. It’s so quiet, so peaceful. And only once has anyone else ever shown up here. It’s like no one knows this exists.
As I glance under the oak tree, my mind drifts back to a night filled with cheesy chips and ant bites. I chuckle.
“Kinda did more than just thinking that night, Grandpa. But she was fun. Different. Memorable.”
I’ve thought about that raven-haired enigma several times over the years, always with a smile on my face. “Gotta roll with it,” she said that night after we commiserated about our lives. I’ve rolled with it ever since.
“I’m going to have to figure this one out,” I say, tearing my eyes off the tree. “I’ll be seeing her at Meredith’s, and I don’t want it to be weird. I have to fix this fuckup.”
I don’t want things to be awkward. I don’t want to lose the way things are—were—over a stupid kiss. Even if she’s not lying somehow and doesn’t want anything else from me, I don’t want to lose the fun energy between us. I like her laugh and her stories and the way she’s so easy to be around. There’s no point in ruining that over a sexy-as-fuck kiss.
It’s a kiss, after all. I’ll have many more over my lifetime with many other women. No sense in getting fucked up about this one. Besides, she doesn’t have anyone here, and Matt and Claire really like her. I would be a complete dick if she stayed away from our group because of a stupid kiss.
Damn it.
Yanking my line out of the water, I get it reeled in. It slides easily into the bed of my truck. I grab my phone out of the cup holder and fish through my contacts and ignore the texts from Alexis. I wasn’t all that into her to start with. Now? She doesn’t feel interesting at all. I scroll until I find Harper’s name.
My thumb hits the “Call” button before I can think too much about it.
“Well, look who it is,” she says. “What are you up to? And if you need bail money, call someone else. I’m broke.”
“You’re two people down the call list for bail. No need to worry for a while,” I joke.
“Good to know. So what’s up?”
Suddenly, I’m not sure what to say. My mouth goes dry as different words attempt to make their way past my lips.
“Penn?” Harper laughs. “You okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” I say, forcing a swallow. “I just, um, wanted to check on Avery. She doing okay?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“No reason. She, um, just came by the library today, and you know how Meredith can be.”
The laugh that topples out of my mouth is so fake that there’s no covering it. I cringe.
“Well, I tell you what,” Harper says. “I haven’t seen Avery this evening. She popped into the salon after she met with you all, and we had lunch from the café. Then she went home, and I had a date, which I’m still on, by the way. So that shows you where you rank in my life.”
“I’m sorry, Harp.”
“Nah, don’t be. He conveniently didn’t have condoms, which he wasn’t all that upset about. Surprise, surprise.”
“Ditch him. He sounds like a total asshole.”
“I probably will,” she says. “He went to get them now, but I’m getting less and less inclined to wait around here. Anyway, what do you want? For real?”