His face becomes suddenly stony. ‘I warned you before. Don’t get involved in my business, Dahlia. The less you know the safer I can keep you.’
A sudden fear drops into my stomach. I think of the elaborate security measures that are in place around him. ‘Even you’re not completely safe are you?’
‘It comes with the territory,’ he dismisses. ‘There is also someone who is ready to betray you, who wants what you have.’
‘Why did you chose this life? Constantly being on guard for your life and the threat of prison looming in the horizon.’
‘I didn’t have much of a choice.’
‘You told me once that ultimately everything is a choice. Some are more difficult than others to make, but it’s a choice nevertheless.
‘I had as little choice as you had when I used your sister as my bargaining chip,’ he says quietly.
I feel light headed. ‘What happened to you, Zane?’
Something flashes into his eyes and for an unguarded instant he looks haunted. ‘I don’t want to talk about the past,’ he mutters, and starts swimming away from me.
‘Why won’t you let me in, Aleksandr Malenkov?’
Five
Aleksandr Malenkov
(Mama)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmzFDEu2RoA
When I wake up my whole body is in so much pain I just want to huddle up and cry, but I force myself not to because Mama is lying next to me and watching. My mama is purer than a white swan. She has black hair and blue eyes like me. She is perfect except for one dark tooth and a broken jaw, which makes her mouth look ever so lightly lop-sided.
She broke her jaw when a door hit her in the face before I was born, and the tooth went dark when she fell down some steps and banged it. She told me it happened one night when she was pregnant with me. Mama said she was very lucky she did not lose the tooth or me. She said I could have fallen right out of her stomach that night. I have put my finger in mama’s mouth and I know that the dark tooth is loose. It rocks in her jaw the way my front tooth did before I pulled it out.
‘You’re alive,’ I say in wonder and reach out to touch her swollen face.
‘Of course, I am,’ she smiles.
‘Mama your tooth!’ I gasp. There is a hole in her smile.
‘It’s gone,’ she says cheerfully. ‘I’m glad. It was rotten.’ She pushes her tongue through the gap. ‘It’s saved me a trip to the dentist.’
‘Does it hurt?’ I ask worriedly.
‘No. Not even a bit.’
I touch her broken lip. ‘Does this hurt?’
‘No. Some things look worse than they are.’
‘Shall we put a bandage on it, mama?’
‘No,’ mama says with a small laugh.
I stare at her. ‘Are you sure? It looks painful.’
‘Yes, I’m sure. You know I would never lie to you.’
I nod. That’s true. Mama never lies. ‘Where is papa?’ I whisper.
Her blue eyes look sad. ‘He’s gone out.’
‘Has he gone to work?’ My papa works odd hours. Before his accident, when he hurt his head and the doctors had to put metal plates in back of his head, he used to go away for days. Mama says he works for the government. She says what he does is secret, like James Bond, so we can never ever know where he goes. All my friends are frightened of my father. Their parents smile at me a lot, but they always look nervous when I am in their house.
‘Yes, I think so,’ mama says softly.
‘Is he still very angry with me, mama?’
‘Oh my dear, dear Aleksandr, he is not angry with you at all.’
‘Yes, he is. He thinks I’m a coward, because I cried. I tried not to cry, but I couldn’t help it, mama.’ The tears are trying to come, but I blink them away.
‘You’re not a coward, my little star. You are braver than most people I know.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, that is the absolute truth.’
‘But papa doesn’t think so.’
‘Papa loves you and just wants you to be a great fighter like him, but sometimes he can’t control his temper. He is not himself. It was accident. It changed him. Remember I told you about it.’
‘Yes, I remember.’
‘One day he will get better. You’ll see,’ she says.
‘I hope so.’
‘I know so,’ she says fiercely.
‘I’m sorry he hurt you, mama. It was my fault.’
‘He did not hurt me and it was not your fault. Never say that again.’ Mama smiles softly.
I nod. ‘Mama,’
‘Yes, my love.’
‘Maybe I shouldn’t start my training yet. Maybe we should wait until papa is better.’
Tears fill mama’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry, my darling, but you will have to train. You are a man now. Papa will expect it. It will only be once a week, maybe twice. It will get better. I promise.’
She lays a gentle hand on my ribs and I gasp with the terrible pain.