This was my favorite place in that whole house. Sometimes I came in here and sat for hours. No matter what problems I had, just being in here on my own calmed me. This was my zen space.
Maybe it was because I still couldn’t believe that this closet was almost as big as our entire trailer back home in Tennessee. I looked around longingly. How I wished I could simply hide
in here amongst my sweet smelling clothes for the next few days.
But it was not to be.
Today had to be faced.
I keyed in the safe’s code, opened the heavy door, and selected a slim velvet box from inside. I lifted the lid and held up the large teardrop sapphire pendant necklace lying inside. I
looked at it and felt no emotion. I could still remember gasping with shock when I first saw it. I had never seen anything so fabulously beautiful. Even my untrained eye could tell that
it must have cost Robert a small fortune.
Two point five million pounds, actually.
I could still remember that day like it happened yesterday. It was my eighteenth birthday. The weather was bad and we had decided to stay in. Just the two of us. In those days he was
still well enough to come downstairs so we sat in the blue drawing room by the big fire. Him in his big armchair and me curled up at his feet on the carpet.
Oh, we had so much to talk about then. He had so much knowledge and I was like a sponge. Soaking everything up. I was his Eliza Dolittle. I arrived at this house a teenager bringing with
me all my trailer trash talk. Patiently, slowly, day by day, he had polished away all the rough edges.
On that day he had leaned back in his chair and watched me with indulgent eyes as if I was a particularly exuberant puppy.
‘Oh my little Tawny, if only you had come into my life sooner,’ he whispered.
‘I’m here now,’ I told him.
That was when he pulled the box out of his dressing gown pocket. I started crying with joy and sadness. Even then we already knew his time was short. Then he cried and, later, when we
were both drunk on champagne vodkas, he insisted I must wear it at his funeral.
With a sigh I fixed the necklace around my neck. The metal was cold. I turned around and looked at the mirror. Against the pallor of my skin it glowed like blue fire. I stared at my
reflection and heard his raspy voice again.
‘It’s going to be all old money, so venerable, so impeccable, so I want you to blow their silly socks off. Don’t hold a dreary wake for me. Throw a party. Serve the most expensive
champagne. Hire musicians, dancers and fire-eaters. Make an inappropriate toast to me. Celebrate. But whatever you do don’t try to please those painted peacocks. They’ll despise you for
it.’ His eyes twinkled. ‘You will be richer than most of them. Let them bloody well try to please you.’
‘Won’t they just hate me all the more?’ I asked.
‘So be it,’ he said cryptically.
I frowned, confused. ‘Why? Why make them hate me more?’
His eyes gleamed with unholy light and I got a glimpse of the cutthroat businessman he must have been before he became sick and weak.
‘Because a greater prize than my money waits for you, my darling.’
No matter how much I asked he would not explain what he meant. ‘Trust this old man,’ he said.
As I stood in front of the mirror, the memory of that night was so clear I could almost smell the burning logs, see the wicked gleam that shone in his cunning eyes, and hear the rich
timbre of his voice. I touched my hat and his voice filled my head.
‘A good hat is a thing of beauty, but worn at the right angle it is a work of art.’
Of their own accord my hands moved to tilt the hat to a rakish angle.
I smiled at the effect. ‘You were right, Robert. A small tilt makes all the difference.’
Without warning, pain like a stone wedged in my chest. Oh, Robert. I will never see your kind, clever face again. Suddenly the cocoon of protective numbness was ripped from around me and
I felt as if my world was spinning out of control. Oh my God! All those people waiting for me and every single one of them bearing hostility and envy in their hearts. I felt as nervous
as a long-tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I placed my palm on my midriff and took deep breaths.
You need to be one hundred percent, Tawny. It’s an elite club you’ve wandered into. You can’t let our side down.
I looked into the mirror, my eyes were wide and panicked. No, this won’t do. I forced myself to think of my mother.